WELCOME Dealing with Lying and Stealing

1. WELCOMEDealing with Lying and Stealing Center for Development of Human Services Buffalo State College Under contract with NYS Office of Children & Family Services Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

2. Expectations Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

3. Outcomes • Clarify values regarding lying and stealing • Identify reasons children lie and/or steal • Respond appropriately to children who lie and/or steal • Make plans to prevent lying and stealing behaviors Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

4. To Tell the Truth…Warm-up Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

5. Definition: Lying • Making an untrue statement with intent to deceive • Creating a false or misleading impression Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 20107, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

6. Reasons Adults Become Upset : Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

7. Typical Reactions to Lying & Stealing Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

8. The Best Lie Ever Told… • By a politician • In an advertisement • To a police officer for speeding • By a child in care • By someone in this group Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

9. Reasons People Lie and/or Steal Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

10. Cycle of Need Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

11. Cycle of Mistrust Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

12. Tricks, Lies and Parenting “Your room is a mess. Turn off the TV now and go clean it up!” Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

13. Did you clean your room? Yep! Liar! Don’t tell me you cleaned your room. I just walked by and its still a pig pen! Why lie to me? I hate that! Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

14. Where have you been? At Jimmy’s. No, you weren’t! I spoke with his mom and she hasn’t seen you all day. You’re grounded! Don’t you EVER lie to me again!! Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

15. I need to have a talk with you. Huh? About what? Well, you said you were going to Jimmy’s and I know you didn’t. Its important to me to be able to trust you. What’s going on? Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

16. It Takes a Thief • What did you take? • What were the circumstances? • What motivated you to take it? • What did you gain? • Who was affected by what you did? • What did you feel before/ during/after? • What were the consequences? Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

17. PROS AND CONS OF STEALING Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

18. Goals of Discipline • Complete the Cycle of Need • Learn healthy ways to meet needs • Feel good about relationships with others • Build self-esteem Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

19. Unregistered and want training credit? Before class ends, enter the following into (private) text chat to Matthew Fildes (in his absence, to the instructor): Full legal name Male or female Home address (no P.O. boxes) Area code and phone number Email address (2 on same computer must list 2 email addresses) Foster care agency address (e.g., Harlem Dowling, Westside Center, 2090 7th Ave., NY, NY 10027) Thank you.