WEEK 7 Defensiveness, Projection & Transference in Relationships

1. WEEK 7Defensiveness, Projection & Transference in Relationships Understanding Unconscious Processes in Relationships

2. The following slides have been prepared by Dr Anne Hartican of Bespoke Results and is drawn from work she intends publishing in 2013. The material remains the property of Bespoke Results.

4. Well being Strengths Happiness Flourishing Flow Depth Psychology Psychological development Patterns of thinking and behaviour Unconscious processes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gSBZoCO8dA Positive Psychology

5. Are we governed by unconscious processes? Neuroscience believes so! “”Freud’s insights on the nature of consciousness are consonant with the most advanced contemporary neuroscience views,” Antonio Damasio, head of neurology at the University of Iowa College of Medicine.

6. The Unconscious “…information processing in the brain occurs simultaneously at two main levels: one conscious, or fully accessible to cognitive processes, and one unconscious, or hidden from cognition. …both conscious and unconscious processes are able to influence behavior” George I. Viamontes, MD, PhD; Bernard D. Beitman, MD.

7. The Unconscious Processes in the mind that occur automatically and are not available to introspection, including: • Thought processes • Memory • Motivation • Subliminal perceptions • Repressed feelings, • Automatic skills and reactions • Habits

8. The Unconscious A large amount of complex cognitive processingappears to occur at the unconscious level in bothhealthy and psychiatric and neurological populations • Heather A. Berlin Presentation title

9. The Unconscious “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” C.J. Jung • Unconscious dynamic processes defensively remove anxiety-provoking thoughts and impulses from consciousness in responseto one’s conflicting attitudes • Heather A. Berlin

10. James Hollis • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCIOI71neL0

11. Defense Mechanisms - Purpose • Psychological defenses are primarily unconscious. They serve to protect us from experiencing the discomfort associated with unpleasant thoughts or emotions; to keep unconscious internal conflicts unconscious!

12. Defense Mechanisms - Development Confidence, Acceptance, Pleasure Anxiety Rejection Pain

13. How the Human Psyche & Defenses Develop A Kleinian Perspective

14. Archaic Thinking • “It operates from decisions and conclusions made in the past: it is controlled by pre-established rules, policies and boundaries; its habitually judgmental; it is expressed in slogans, clichés, and dogma; it fears and resists the new, novel and ambiguous; it seeks to preserve what is familiar and comfortable; it is often contaminated by unacknowledged emotions; and it filters, selects, distorts and rationalizes information to reinforce existing beliefs”. Presentaton title

15. Dynamic Thinking • “It responds to current reality, here and now information, and possibilities; it respects evidence and is open to the “story” that emerges from thoughtful exploration….it is capable of judging and unjudging; it values ideas as a form of wealth; it values the new, novel, subtle and ambiguous; it is evolutionary and open to updating itself. It is aware of and acknowledges the emotional sources that influence it; and it respects all forms of knowing.”

16. Defense Mechanisms What were you rewarded for? What were the messages you received in childhood about what was acceptable and unacceptable? What were you punished for?

17. Psychological Duality Adapted / False Self Wounded / Defended You Real Self Essential You

18. “Every individual experiences conflict due to unacceptable feelings, wishes or ideas that create anxiety and lead to defensive reactions. Ironically, defensive behaviour stirs only a vague awareness of what an individual is protecting himself or herself against, because the exact nature of the unacceptable behaviours rarely reaches consciousness. Defensiveness is actually about the suppression of unacceptable feelings of unacceptable feelings it acts as a painkiller allowing us to function in an otherwise difficult to tolerate world.” Manfred Kets De Vries

19. Common Defensive Behaviours in Executives • Changing the subject • Denying that there is a problem • Ignoring an admitted problem • Rationalising questionable acts • Acting out • Kets De Vries

20. Public life as I have experienced it is lived almost entirely on the level of DEFENDED YOU. People relate, behave and think not from the clarity of the heart of ESSENTIAL YOU but from the defended position from which they feel safe. I'm not just saying that our defences don't have a place, they definitely do, it is just that they have often become our entire repertoire. We don't know how to do anything but defend. I can't, for instance, remember reading one management, public speaking or negotiation book that didn't operate on the level of improving the operation of defences. From memory, my entire MBA degree was a course in how to be better defended. Margot Cairnes

21. Presentation title

22. Which “You” or “Self” shows up in your key relationships?

23. Common Defense Mechanisms Projection - “Attributing one’s own thoughts, feelings, or motives to another.” • Rationalisation • Identification • Displacement • Regression • Reaction Formation • Repression • Projection

24. Projection in Action • A man visits a therapist and says, “I’ve just gotten fired, for the seventh time in the last five years. I am having troubles with my wife, and I’ve already been divorced twice. I desperately need you to help me understand: Why are there so many screwed-up people out there in the world?” • Source: Fifth Discipline Field Book

25. Identifying Projections Recall experiences where you have had a strong negative reaction to someone – Identify at least three occasions. What was it that you found particularly confronting about the person? List the “offending” characteristics. Recall experiences where you have had a strong positive reaction to someone – Identify at least three occasions. What was it that particularly appealed to you about the people you reacted positively to?

26. Presentation title

27. Transference / Counter-transference Transference Counter-transference A response to the transference based on your own past relationships/ experiences. Displacement (false attribution) of feelings, attitudes, behavioral expectations and attributes from important childhood relationships to current ones

28. The Transference process Memories of past psychological experiences are unconsciously revived and are perceived not as belonging tothe past, but as being evoked by the person we are currently relating to. These past experiences may include: • Instinctual drives • Affects and emotions, • Earlyunconscious phantasised relationships, • Earlier actual relationships, cognitive • Paradigms, patterns of behaviour A counter-transference occurs if othersrespond with attitudes that relate to their past.

29. “Transference is everywhere and unavoidable”! Clarkson (1995)

30. In the management setting boss–subordinate and peer relationships are often laden with transferences from earlier experiences in the family, school and previous employment. This leads to unwarranted or inappropriate interpersonal attribution, which is detrimental to the working relationship. It is the mode of relationship usually at the base of political rivalry and inter-departmental strife and can lead to ‘the snake pit organisation’ where ‘anxiety and stress are constant companions’ (Schwartz, 1990, in Nuttall, 2003)

31. Writing Personal Case Studies Left Hand Column Method Case Study Preparation

32. Homework for Week 9 • Using the HS Framework ask 3 people who know you well to indicate common behavioural responses and the situations in which they typically observe these behaviours: • Constructive Behaviours • Defensive behaviours (remember – some defensive behaviours are appropriate – the question is – is the behavioural response helping or hindering you!

33. Readings for Week 8 • Trei, L. 2007. New study yields instructive results on how mindset affects learning. Stanford Report, February 7, at http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2007/february7/dweck-020707.html?view=print • Doidge, N. 2007. The women who was always falling down. Maclean's, 120(13), 40.Crum, A. & Langer, E. 2007. Mind-set matters. Psychological Science, 18(2), 165-171. • Walters, K. 2009. Mind over grey matter. BRW, Dec 11 2008-Jan 14 2009 • Hassed, C. Stress Management in Chapter 2, Essence of Health (2008). • 2000, Vol. 107, No. 3, 411-429 0033-295X/00/$5.00 IX)I: 10.1037//0033-295X.107.3,411 • Biobehavioral Responses to Stress in Females: Tend-and-Befriend, Not Fight-or-Flight, (2000), Shelley E. Taylor, Laura Cousino Klein, Brian P. Lewis, Tara L. Gruenewald, Regan A. R. Gurung, and John A. Updegraff Psychological Review, Vol. 107, No. 3, 411-429. • The Effect of Mindfulness-Based Therapy on Anxiety and Depression: A Meta-Analytic Review , 2010, Hofmann S.G , Sawyer, A.T. , Witt, A.A., and Oh, D., Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, Vol. 78, No. 2, 169–183.

34. Readings for Week 8 cont.