Dealing with an Angry/Irate Parent

1. Dealing with an Angry/Irate Parent

2. Why Parents are Angry Lack of communication Making changes w/o notifying them Not returning phone calls They feel labeled because of marital status, sex, color, appearance, etc. Teacher acts defensive Broken promises Do not understand educational jargon White lies Unwillingness of teacher to admit mistakes and apologize They feel like they have no control Lack of respect for them Unprofessional educators They are asked for advice and they advice is not used.

3. Ways to transform tough parents into effective committed parents Know each parent’s name Acknowledge parents by Mr. or Mrs. So and so Make eye contact when saying hello. Shake hands with parent. Smile at the parent. Try to appear unhurried. Say something positive about the child. Smile at their child, if present. “There cannot be real communication without trust.”

4. Your Image in transforming parents Use proper grammar. Talk about things of interest to est. a relationship Thank parents for things they do. Greet parents positively. End all conversations on a genuine positive note. “Have a nice evening” Act instead of react. Be compassionate. Go the extra mile. Carry yourself with dignity. Be calm. Be tactful. Have a caring attitude. Do not let parent feel judged. Recognize and overcome any bias or prejudice. “First impressions count.”

5. What you should do Be trustworthy. Apologize when you are wrong. Do not make promises you cannot keep. Be punctual. Attack the problem, not the person. Do more than you promised to do. Never talk about people behind their backs. Have integrity. Sit eye to eye and knee to knee. Shake hands. Welcome parents into your room. Listen - Active. Open your mind to their opinion. Hear their opinion and concern. “Be a friend and you will make a friend.”

6. Traps to avoid Do not discuss other teachers’ classroom treatment of students. Do not compare the student with siblings. Do not argue with the parent. Do not attempt to psychoanalyze the student. Do not blame the parent for the student’s misbehavior. Do not be negative. Do not judge the family.

7. AVOID!!! Lecturing. Speaking in generalities. Using professional jargon. Overwhelming parents with multiple concerns. Trying to be the all knowing authority. “Behind every problem is an opportunity if you will just look for it.”

8. Ways to Win Parents Over Establish a relationship! Tell them something personal and positive about their child. You care! You have a relationship with their child. Establish yourself as an advocate. Ask for parent input. (if you are going to “How do you think we should handle this?” “Do you have any ideas?” “What works for you at home?” Be honest about working as a team. “Together we can do it.”

9. How to give negative feedback with positive results Make them feel you are on their side. Use mental pictures. Be likable. Establish rapport. Let the parents talk about their interests and hobbies that you may have heard the student mention. Help put the parent at ease. Find out the student’s special talents, interests, or accomplishments. Ask them to tell you their child’s best attributes. Ask them if there is anything the child does that they have a more difficult time in dealing with. Show them that you care. Tell them that you want to work together to help the student. Ask for help. Be candid but always non-blaming. Leave all negative emotions out of this conference.

10. The Angry parent - tips Understand parents – Be Empathetic, not sympathetic. Wiring… Past experiences Let them start, Listen, Take notes, Ask permission to respond – Never use negative transitions… But; However – substitute and “Difficult people are difficult with others too. It is their method of operation therefore, do not take it personally.”

11. The explosive parent - tips End the conversation – respectfully Phone Person – Post it note Leave the room Call the office Always remain respectful tone of voice level of voice calm Always seek help when explosive Do not schedule additional meetings by self.

12. It takes two people in order for there to be an argument! Always, be careful, alert, clam, and prepared! “Anger begets anger.” “Caring begets caring.”