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Sensory Writing. Try : Drops of water rolled down the window and formed a puddle on the sill. I shivered and pulled the blanket closer around me. Instead of: It was raining outside. I was cold. Show don’t tell. Use your senses to describe. What did it feel like ????????.
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Try : Drops of water rolled down the window and formed a puddle on the sill. I shivered and pulled the blanket closer around me. Instead of: It was raining outside. I was cold. Show don’t tell
Use your senses to describe What did it feel like ????????
Instead of: I was nervous on the ride. As the roller coaster raced down the track I felt as though my pounding heart would explode at any moment.
Instead of: I was scared. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as I sensed the presence of someone else in the room.
Instead of: She made me mad. I felt like a tightly wound rubber band. If she said one more word, I was sure that I would snap and ricochet off the walls.
What did it sound like? • She let go of the balloon and the air escaped with a small hiss. • The pots and pans, clanging like a thousand church bells, crashed to the floor.
Instead of: The crowd was loud. As the team scored a touchdown, the crowd exploded in cheers.
From the book The Sign of the Beaver This silence was different. It coiled around Matt and reached into his stomach to settle there in a hard knot.
From the book The Sign of the Beaver As he tramped through the forest, he was accompanied by the chirruping of birds, the chatter of squirrels, and the whine and twang of thousands of bothersome insects.
The rushing wind, like the blast of a trumpet, blared in my ears as I saw the funnel cloud approaching.
What did it smell like? Instead of: It smelled bad. Try: As I entered the room a strong putrid smell filled my nostrils. It smelled like the garbage after my mom cleans out the refrigerator.
Instead of: It smelled good. Try this: A sweet chocolately aroma rose from the cup and made my mouth water.
From: The Good, the Bad, and the Goofy. It tasted like old sneakers mixed with bacon fat and rotten berries.
The cotton candy dissolved from a sugary cloud into sweet sticky goodness on my tongue.
Instead of: It looked like an alien. • Try: The alien hadbulbous red antennae and chartreuse, lumpy skin.
Instead of: He was wearing boots. • Try: He wore perfect-fitting cowboy boots that had stitched designs on the sides and spurs on the elevated heels.
From The Sign of the Beaver. The first time Matt tasted tree sap: The gob fell to pieces between his teeth, filling his mouth with a bitter juice. He wanted to spit it out in disgust, but Attean was plainly enjoying the stuff, so he stubbornly forced his jaws to keep moving. In a moment the bits came together in a rubbery gum, and the first bitterness gave way to a fresh piney taste.
From the book A Paradise Called Texas That night a huge fire blazed up in the center of the clearing, and the bear meat was roasted, fat side up. The firelight flickered on the wagons and surrounding forest, making the clearing an island of light and warmth.
From the book: Knights of the Kitchen Table The Black Knight sat up straight, wobbled, and then fell to the ground with an armored crash.
From the book: The Good, the Bad, and the Goofy. I saw moccasins, leggings, a beaded shirt, and a reddish brown face topped with a single feather.
From The Knights of the Kitchen Table He towered at least twenty feet, wore no clothes except two bloody ox hides tied around his waist, and hid the largest and ugliest face I have ever seen behind a crazy mess of black hair. Rotten bits of meat and bone, tree branches, giant drool, and cow manure drew a cloud of flies around his beard. If the sight of Bleob wasn’t enough to make you cry, the smell of him definitely was.
