I Had the Weirdest Dream Last Night… A B

1. I Had the Weirdest Dream Last Night… AB Irony 101 AB Oh, Crap—It’s Destiny AB I’m About to Get My Pride On AB The Bad News Bearers AB Very Nearly Funny AB Been There, Done That AB You Dumbasses AB It’s a Rhetorical World ABC The Truth Hurts ABC

2. King Me AB Tongue-Tied AB This Isn’t Going to Be Pretty AB Kickin’ It With K-nowledge AB Curse Words ABC Metaphornication AB War is Hell AB And If You Believe That, I’ve Got a Bridge... AB Say What? AB Mercy, Mercy Me AB

3. When you see other people happy you will often be reminded of what used to make you happy too. One does not feel sad at not having some good thing which lies outside one’s experience: real grief is felt at the loss of something which one is used to. Thucydides p.150 (Pericles funeral oration)

4. There is a parallel for everyone—everyone else that is. But this man here is so unusual, that, search as you might, you’ll never find anyone else, alive or dead, who’s even remotely like him The Symposium 221D (Alcibaides describes Socrates)

5. One goes always upwards for sake of this Beauty, starting out from beautiful things and using them like rising stairs… The Symposium 211C (Diotima schematizes the “stairs” of love)

6. “Wilt thou indeed destroy the righteous withthe wicked?” Genesis 18.23 (Abraham questions God about the destruction of Sodom)

7. I must speak that I may find relief;I must open my lips and answer. Job 32.20 (Elihu begins his rebuttal)

8. Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12.24

9. You can see now the point of our customs: they are designed to separate the wheat from the chaff, the proper love from the vile. The Symposium 184A (Pausanias explains the relationship to male/male courtship to love itself)

10. Their view of a holiday is to do what needs doing; they prefer hardship and activity to peace and quiet. In a word, they are by nature incapable of either living a quiet life themselves or of allowing anyone else to do so. Thucydides p.76 (The Corinthians describe Athens to Sparta)

11. Indeed, I cannot tell whether you think the gods whose names you swore by then have ceased to rule and that new standards are set up… Euripides, Medea 492-494 (Medea to Jason)

12. Behold, I have prepared my case;I know I shall be vindicated.Who is there that will contend with me?For then I would be silent and die. Job 13.18-19 (Job calls out God)

13. There is no need to suppose that human beings differ very much from one another: but it is sure that the one who come out on top are those who have been trained in the hardest school. Thucydides p. 85 (Sparta explains how it thinks and how it prepares)

14. Perhaps, in your turn, you think I’m a failure, and, believe me, I think that what you think is true. But as for all of you, I don’t just think you are failures—I know it for a fact. The Symposium 173D (Apollodorus indicts all non-philosophers)

15. But now there’s hatred everywhere. Love is diseased. Euripides, Medea 16 (Nurse’s opening monologue)

16. You are simply victims of your own pleasure of listening, and are more like an audience sitting at the feet of a professional lecturer than a parliament discussing matters of state. Thucydides p. 214 (Cleon upbraids the Athenians for their indecision in executing the Mytileneans)

17. They ran to her, and each in his turn summoned her and gave her many beautiful gifts and whatever honors she might want to choose among the immortals. But no one could persuade… Hymn to Demeter 326-329 (Gods cannot appease Demeter)

18. Do not seek to be master in everything, for the things you mastered did not follow you throughout your life. Sophocles, Oedipus the King 1522-1524 (Creon admonishes Oedipus)

19. Why are you troubled, and why do questionings rise in your hearts? See my hands and my feet, that it is myself; handle me and see. Luke 24.38-39 (Jesus, on the road to Emmaus, post resurrection)

20. Since I’m convinced that I’ve done injustice to no one, however, I’m certainly not likely to do myself injustice, to announce that I deserve something bad and to propose a penalty of that sort for myself. Plato, The Apology 37b, 2-5 (After being found guilty, Socrates discusses his proper punishment)

21. The difficult thing, gentlemen, isn’t escaping death; escaping villainy is much more difficult, since it runs faster than death. Plato, The Apology 39a, 6-8 (Socrates explains why his death sentence is not the worst thing that could happen to him)

22. But if you choose to make my acquaintance, your nature can run free, with a spring in your step and a smile on your face! Aristophanes, The Clouds 1077-1078 (Inferior Argument makes his case)

23. This is only the beginning of what they will do;and nothing they propose to do now willbe impossible for them… Genesis 11.6 (God expresses dismay over the tower of Babel)

24. As for what is called honour, no one showed himself willing to abide by its laws, so doubtful was it whether one would survive to enjoy the name for it. Thucydides p. 155 (Description of the social chaos that the plague caused. )

25. But I came, _____, who knew nothing, and I stopped her. I solved the riddle by wits alone. Mine was no knowledge got from birds. Sophocles, Oedipus the King 396-398 (Oedipus responds to the suffering Thebans)

26. As is the generation of leaves, so is that of humanity….So one generation of men will grow while another dies. Iliad, VI.145-149 (Glaukos to Diomedes)

27. Your empire is now like a tyranny: it may have been wrong to take it; it is certainly dangerous to let it go. Thucydides p.161 (Pericles explains the problems of becoming powerful)

28. You cannot see them, but I see them. I am driven from this place. I can stay here no longer. Aeschylus, The Libation Bearers 1061-1062 (The Furies begin to hound Orestes)

29. As for you, you meant evil against me; but Godmeant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. Genesis 50.20 (Joseph explains why he forgives his brothers)

30. As there are no trustworthy oaths between men and lions, nor wolves and lambs have spirit that can be brought to agreement but forever these hold feelings of hate for each other, so there can be no love between you and me… Iliad, XXII. 262 (Achilles rejects Hektor’s entreaty)

31. They were to have the response of each of the oracles written down and then they were to bring them back to him Herodotus 1.46 (Herodotus explains how Croesus tested the oracles)

32. O faithless and perverse generation, how long am I to be with you and bear with you? Luke 9.41 (Jesus)

33. I suffered, too, horribly, and from those most dear, yet none among the powers is angered for my sake… Aeschylus, The Eumenides 101-102 (Clytaemestra calls for vengeance)

34. He has made me a byword of the peoples. Job 17.6 (Job laments his infamy, and recognizes it)

35. These people have no institutions, no meetings for counsels; rather they make their habitations in caverns hollowed among peaks and high mountains, and each one is the law for his own wives and children, and cares nothing about the others. Homer, The Odyssey IX. 112-115 (Odysseus describing the Cyclopes)

36. The end result of this demonstration is the very future of education! Aristophanes, The Clouds 955-956 (The Chorus introduces the contest between the Superior and Inferior arguments)

37. Truly, I say to you, no prophet is acceptable in his own country. Luke 4.24 (Jesus at the synagogue)

38. But why raise to no purpose the voice at a banquet? For there is already abundance of pleasure for men with a joy of its own. Euripides, Medea 201-203 (Nurse)

39. A disciple is not above his teacher, but every one when fully taught will be like his teacher. Luke 6.40 (Jesus, in the parable of the blind leading the blind)

40. Put away the foreign gods that are among you, and purify yourselves, and change your garments. Genesis 35.2 (Jacob “converts” his household)

41. What man are you and whence? Where is your city? Your parents? Homer, The Odyssey 170 (One of many introductory interrogations)

42. Few are the children who turn out to be equals of their fathers, and the greater number are worse; few are better than their father is Homer, The Odyssey 276-277 (Mentor to Telemachos)

43. We could not do otherwise than we did. If this is the end of suffering, we can be content broken as we are by the brute heel of angry destiny. Aeschylus, Agamemnon 1658-1660 (Clytaemestra addresses the Chorus)

44. Do not interpretations belong to God?Tell them to me, I pray you. Genesis 40.8 (Joseph interprets the dreams of the Egyptian prisoners)

45. For with all peoples upon the earth singers are entitled to be cherished and to their share of respect, since the muse has taught them her own way, and since she loves the company of all singers. Homer, The Odyssey VIII. 479-481 (Odysseus to Demodokos)

46. We have no right, therefore, to judge cities by their appearances rather than by their actual power… Thucydides p.41 (Th. Investigates the accuracy of Homer and establishes his own methods)

47. “Behold the fire and the wood; but whereis the lamb for a burnt offering?” Genesis 22.7 (Isaac to Abraham)

48. Nurture this child of mine, unexpected and late born, a gift of the gods, in answer to many prayers. If you should bring him up to the age of puberty, some tender woman may look on you with envy… Hymn to Demeter 219-223 (Metaneira gives Demophoon to Demeter to raise)

49. You too, old man of sorrows, since the spirit brought you here to me, do not try to please me nor spell me with lying words. It is not for that I will entertain and befriend you, but for fear of Zeus, the god of guests… Homer, The Odyssey XIV. 386-388 (Eumaios the swineherd to a disguised Odysseus)

50. It calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature. The Symposium 191D (Aristophanes describes the purpose of love)