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Readiness for Marriage. Unit II – Chapter Six. Emotional Highs and Lows. Romantic feelings are especially complex and challenging during your teen years Even more so when one person has stronger feelings of attachment than the other, which is often the case. Crushes and Infatuation.
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Readiness for Marriage Unit II – Chapter Six
Emotional Highs and Lows • Romantic feelings are especially complex and challenging during your teen years • Even more so when one person has stronger feelings of attachment than the other, which is often the case
Crushes and Infatuation • Before they develop, long-term relationships most people experience less-fulfilling ones • They are often painful, but provide useful learning experiences • A crush is a temporary romantic attraction, especially amongst teens and younger people • For example, a young teen might have a crush on a celebrity or on a friend’s older sibling • Usually, the other person is unaware of the feelings • Crushes are temporary and the feelings eventually subside
Crushes and Infatuation • Infatuation is an intense, short-lived and sometimes irrational passion, tends to be idealistic and unrealistic • Infatuated people are drawn by physical attraction and other surface qualities they find appealing • They ignore characteristics or behaviors that might cause problems • Infatuation can fool people into thinking they love someone • Infatuated people tend to be more self-centered and are concerned about their own happiness more than others
Breakups • Usually takes considerable time and numerous relationships before you find a person with whom you are truly compatible • Consequently, most relationships have to end • If you decide its time to end the relationship: • Make a clean break • Be firm, but fair • If another person decides to end the relationship: • Do not try to prevent the breakup • It is unhealthy to cling to an unwilling partner
Love and Commitment • Making a commitment means you both accept that you have an obligation and responsibility to each other • There are different levels of commitment: • At first, a couple may agree to not go out with others • In time, that commitment may become a plan for marriage
Is it Love? • People have long struggled with this question • Looking at past relationships can help you recognize what kind of relationships will or will not work for you: • Why did your feelings for that person change? • Was there a lack of understanding? • Was the emotional; connection one-sided? • Did you share enough interests, values and goals?
Is it Love? • Caring, respect, and trust are the keys to lasting relationships • They find things that they have in common • Successful couples know how to give and take • They know it is important to maintain individual identities • It is important to give a relationship enough time to develop • Learn all you can about the person
Questions to ask yourself • What do you have in common with your relationship partner? • What are the differences that keep things interesting? • Do you have similar values and compatible goals for the future? • Does your love motivate you to take action to benefit the person you love? • Does the relationship make you a better person? • One way to tell whether love will last is simply to give it time and find out whether or not it endures