Revising the Research Paper

1. Revising the Research Paper

2. This Week: Last Class before Research Paper is Due, because of Thanksgiving Holiday • This week is our last class before the Research Paper Final Draft is due. • If you have any missing or late assignments, today is the LAST DAY to speak with me about them. • If you have any question about your Research Paper, today is the day to ask them! • I want everyone to get their questions resolved and to use class time to plan exactly what they need to do for the Final Draft. • Discuss Schedule for remaining 3 weeks of class and the Extra Credit Options (now due on DAY OF FINAL)

3. Four Basic Rules for Avoiding Plagiarism • Make sure all word-for-word quotes have quote marks showing where they begin and end. • Make sure to make the difference between your ideas and your sources’ ideas clear when paraphrasing. • Identify where each quote OR paraphrased idea came from in the body of your paper using in-text citations. • Make sure that each source you quote OR paraphrase in your paper is correctly listed on your Works Cited page. Pass out the Incorporating Sources Handout and ask students if they printed the MLA Templates Handout

4. So you know you have to quote…. • ….but what is the BEST way to quote?It’s not a good idea to simply “drop in” a quote without making it a part of your own sentence. Original Quote from the source: • “He is already fighting hard to stay alive. Which also means that kind PeetaMellark, the boy who gave me the bread, is fighting hard to kill me.” • Drop-In Quote: • Katniss remains suspicious of Peeta. “Which also means that kind PeetaMellark, the boy who gave me the bread, is fighting hard to kill me” (Collins 60). • Integrated Quote: • Katniss remains suspicious of Peeta. When she realizes that he is “already fighting hard to stay alive”, Katniss decides that “the boy who gave me the bread is [also] fighting hard to kill me” (Collins 60).

5. The “Quote Sandwich” • This is a way to integrate quotes into your paper smoothly and avoid drop-in quotes. • The first piece of “bread” • Introduce quote, possibly mention author, connect quote to what you were saying before. • The “Meat” • Your quote, correctly cited with in-text citation. • The second piece of “bread” • Interpretation/explanation of quote (NOT simply rewording the quote), connect quote to what you will say next.

6. Example of detailed quote sandwich using2 different sources and comparing them: Introduce quote from literature Quote w/in-text citation Analysis of quote Introduction of outside source Outside source quote w/in-text citation Analysis of quote and connection to thesis and main point The poverty that faces District 12 is vividly described in the novel. The narrator, Katniss, describes how the people are so hopeless and defeated that they have “hunched shoulders and swollen knuckles” and they have even “stopped trying to scrub the coal dust out of their broken nails [or] the lines of their sunken faces” (4). In this sentence, Suzanne Collins describes the conditions of poverty and hopelessness, using words like ‘sunken’ and ‘hunched.’ All throughout the chapters that describe District 12 the language portrays a broken down people who have no hope because of their overwhelming poverty and hunger.Many readers may think that such poverty cannot exist in real life, or if it does it is only in other far-away countries. However, research into the poorest areas of America tells a different story. There are many communities and neighborhoods that are just as poor, oppressed, and downtrodden as District 12. In fact, there are many neighborhoods in the United States where the average salary per household is shockingly “below minimum wage” and even “two or three full time workers in a single household may not be enough to pay for basic necessities like rent, food, and medical care” (Scheckner). It is clear that although American Society may not be as obviously oppressive as the Capitol in The Hunger Games, there are still some very serious problems with our economic system when a hard-working family cannot even afford the basics without relying on credit cards, government aid, or working like a slave at more than one job.

7. Example Disagreement Introduces article, summarizes point to be discussed, gives credit to author using in-text citation. Responds to article with your own opinion Voice indicating phrase, identifying that these aren’t my ideas. Further explanation of why the writer disagrees. • In the article “Why the Odds are Still Stacked against women in Hollywood,” the author interviews several women who believe that women are partially to blame for the gender imbalance in Hollywood, citing women’s tendency not to self-promote and to seek approval in a way that hurts their careers (Masters). However, by focusing on what women are doing wrong, the article overlooks the deeper problemof a business that seems to deny equal opportunity to women no matter what they do. If a woman acts boldly, “like a man,” in order to be successful, she risks getting a reputation as bossy and hard to work with, thereby missing out on opportunities. But if we are to believethe women Masters interviews, if a woman acts feminine and accommodating, she loses big opportunities to those who are willing to be more pushy. This is a choice with no right answer, no matter how a women chooses to present herself. Women in the entertainment industry should have opportunities based on merit alone, and now socially enforced ideas about “how women (should) behave”.

8. Example Agreement Introduces article, quotes point to be discussed, gives credit to author using in-text citation. Agreement + backing up their points Further explanation of why I agree, adding something to the conversation. • Deryl Hannah argues that representations of gay and lesbian people of color are important because to portray the LBGT community and its allies as entirely white would “inaccurately promote a world in which it would appear that LGBT people of color do not exist, or that acceptance of LGBT people is exclusive to white populations” (Hannah). I agree with Hannah that inaccurate portrayals of the diversity within the gay and lesbian community are troubling, a point that needs emphasizing because many people still believe that minority communities are backward and intolerant when it comes to their own LBGT members. To portray white communities as “enlightened” and accepting and minority communities as oblivious at best and bigoted at worst perpetuates old, ugly racial stereotypes.

9. Example Agree and Disagree at Once Introduces article, quotes point to be discussed, gives credit to author using in-text citation. Agree and Disagree, using “Although ” or “however” Further explanation of the point on which I disagree. • In the article “Tyler Perry’s Money Machine,” Eugene Robinson argues that even though Tyler Perry has been called formulaic, he is successful because he is one of a very small number of film makers who is making films that portray African Americans as “people relating to other people” (347). Although I agree with Robinson up to a point, and I certainly see the importance of films in which minority characters are fully rounded, not stereotypes, I cannot accept his overriding assumption that African-American viewers are “settling” for Perry’s films only because there is nothing better that portrays them positively. In this time of dwindling ticket sales and increasing ticket prices, Perry’s overwhelmingly black audience must be getting something more out of his movies than positive representation and cliché humor, as Robinson suggests.

10. Tips for effectively presenting evidence: • Respect your audience's intelligence. Don't try to manipulate them or twist the evidence to support your claim. • Consider the authority of your sources. Where did the information you are presenting as persuasive come from? Why does this person/organization have the authority to speak on this issue? • Establish your own credibility as an author by presenting your research in a thoughtful, respectful way.

11. Persuasive Strategies • Reminder: We've already talked about types of audiences. For this class, you are assuming a general audience… some people will already agree with you, some will disagree, and some will be on the fence. What does that mean for the tone you will need to take? • Present yourself as reasonable, but also sincere. (Appeal to the head AND the heart… but keep it balanced.) • Don't put down the other side. • Don't assume that everyone already agrees with you.

12. Types of Appeals: The Rhetorical Triangle • You may be appealing to several different things when you speak to your readers: • LOGOS: You will be appealing to their rational sides using facts. (This is called logos, which is related to the word "logic.") By making sure that your facts are relevant and well-documented, you will increase your credibility as a writer. • ETHOS: You may be appealing to their sense of morality (remember, this means right and wrong) by asserting that you share common values with them. For instance, an in defense of home schooling may appeal to the value that parents place on education and their children's right to learn. • PATHOS: You may also be making an appeal to emotion. This is called pathos. It is related to the word "pathetic," which didn't originally mean what it does now. It originally meant appealing to the emotions without the negative connotation modern English gives it. You are trying to get your audience to really feel for whatever cause you are arguing for.

13. Balancing Logos, Ethos, and Pathos • It is your job as a writer to balance facts, values, and emotions. Too much of one and not enough of the others can make for an unbalanced argument. • Be especially aware of overusing emotional appeals. People are smart, and they don't like being jerked around by their emotions. • This is especially true when writing for a mixed audience… people who disagree with you will be on the lookout for emotional manipulation.

14. Break Time! • Please return in 15 minutes! • We will be doing activities with our rough drafts and our thesis statements. • Please make sure you get your research paper rough draft out and ready when you return.

15. Review: Using Sources Right! • ALWAYS enclose words that are not your own in quotes. • ALWAYS make a quote the part of your own sentence. • ALWAYS have an author or article name and page number in parentheses after the quote. • ALWAYS give credit to authors whose ideas you use, even if you are not quoting them directly. • ALWAYS make sure that the quote is sufficiently introduced and in context.

16. Thesis Workshopwith Partners • Write down you thesis on a separate sheet of paper and trade thesis statements with a partner. • This will be done one-on-one, not in groups. • For each thesis you read, offer the following feedback: • Does the thesis make a clear claim about the topic? • It should NOT be a question. Your thesis should be a clear claim—perhaps even an answer to one of your research questions. • Does this thesis set up a complex and interesting response to the chosen topic? • Discuss this feedback with your classmate and give each other ideas. • When you finish, move on to the next classmate/partner. • Don’t get sidetracked with off-topic discussion!

17. Check Yourself Before You Wreck…..your Paper! • If you have not already done so, read page 9-12 in LPH and page 21-22 in Mirror on America for important advice regarding revisions. • Check your thesis: Do you have an arguable thesis? • Is it clear and it the appropriate location for an academic paper? • Review the information on page 7--8 of LPH if you aren’t sure. • Try rewriting your thesis 2 or 3 different ways. Which one works best? • Check your quotes/sources/citations:Are your sources reliable? • Do you use quotes well? Do you make each quote part of your own sentence? If not, make a note of it. Refer to your “incorporating sources” handout. • Do you follow up every quote with a least a sentence or two of your OWN that explains and connects the quote to your own argument? • Do you include an in-text citation that links to an entry on your works cited page for EVERY source? • Check your organization: (See pages 15-16 in LPH) • Do the paragraphs each have their own point that connects back to the “big point”—your thesis? • Do the paragraphs transition easily, using one idea to “jump” to the next? • Highlight/Draw an Arrow to make note of other problem areas in your draft to remind yourself to fix them.

18. Next Week: • No Class – Thanksgiving Holiday • Next Time We Meet: Thursday, December 5 • Last Day of Regular Class • We will discuss the In-Class Final taking place on December 12 • Due: Research Paper, rough draft attached. Must be submitted by printed copy in class (+ rough draft attached) and digital copy on turnitin.com.