Better your Writing (Part II)

1. Better your Writing (Part II) 高雄市國民教育輔導團 語文領域國小英語組 輔導員 許儷齡 (Linda) (高雄市正興國小)

2. Better your Writing (Part II) 高雄市國民教育輔導團 語文領域國小英語組 輔導員 許儷齡 (Linda) (高雄市正興國小)

3. Warm-up Activity –Identifying the Independent Clauses Direction: Please work with a partner to select the option that best describes the use of clauses in each sentence.

4. Text Level • From the bottom up, text is comprised of: - context - discourse - paragraph - sentence / clause - words - letters / sounds

5. Sentence Structures We can categorize sentences into four main types, depending on the number and type of clauses they contain: • Simple (one independent clause): • We drove from Connecticut to Tennessee in one day. • Compound (more than one independent clause): • We were exhausted, but we arrived in time for my father's birthday party.

6. Sentence Structures • Complex (one independent clause and at least one dependent clause): • Although he is now 79 years old, he still claims to be 65. • Compound-complex (more than one independent clause and at least one dependent clause): • After it was all over, my dad claimed he knew we were planning something, but we think he was really surprised.

7. Warm-up Activity • An exercise in locating and identifying clauses: - underline the subject-verb sets you find. - In the spaces after the I and D, put the number of independent and dependent clauses you find within that numbered item. - You should end up with 25 independent clauses and 10 dependent clauses in all.

8. The Need to Combine Sentences • Sentences have to be combined to avoid the monotony that would surely result if all sentences were brief and of equal length. • Part of language’s music lies within the rhythms of varied sentence length and structure. • Varying our clauses and sentence length keeps the text alive and the reader awake.

9. Compounding Sentences • Using coordinating conjunctions (e.g., and, but, or, for, yet, etc.) to connect two or more independent clauses to link ideas • The clauses of a compound sentence can sometimes be separated by a semicolon.

10. Subordinating One Clause to Another • Subordinating one clause to another shows that one idea depends on another in some way: a chronological development, a cause-and-effect relationship, a conditional relationship, etc. - As the explorers approached the headwaters of the Missouri, they discovered, to their horror, that the Rocky Mountain range stood between them and their goal, a passage to the Pacific. - Although William Clark was not officially granted the rank of captain prior to the expedition’s departure, Captain Lewis more ore less ignored this technicality and treated Clark as his equal in authority and rank.

11. Using Participial Phrases to Connect Idea • A writer can integrate the idea of one sentence into a larger structure by turning that idea into a modifying phrase. e.g., Captain Lewis allowed his men to make important decisions in a democratic manner. This democratic attitude fostered a spirit of togetherness and commitment on the part of Lewis’s fellow explorers. → Allowing his men to make important decisions in a democratic manner, Lewis fostered a spirit of togetherness and commitment among his fellow explorers.

12. Using Absolute Phrases to Connect Ideas • The absolute phrase is often found at the beginning of a sentence. It is made up of a noun (the phrase’s “subject”) followed by a participle. • The absolute phrase modifies the entire clause that follows. (*the participial phrasemodifies the subject of the independent clause that follows.)

13. The Participial Phrase vs. the Absolute phrase • Lewis’s fame and fortune was virtually guaranteed by his exploits. Lewis disappointed the entire world by inexplicably failing to publish his journals. → His fame and fortune virtually guaranteed by his exploits, Lewis disappointed the entire world by inexplicably failing to publish his journals.

14. The Participial Phrase vs. the Absolute phrase • Lewis’s long journey was finally completed. His men in the Corps of Discovery were dispersed. Lewis died a few years later on his way back to Washington, D.C., completed alone. →His long journey completed and his men in the Corps of Discovery dispersed, Lewis died a few years later on his way back to Washington, D.C., completely alone.

15. Exercise : Combining Sentences Direction: • Work with a partner. • Combine each group of sentences into one effective sentence containing only one independent clause.

16. Exercise:Fragments and Run-Ons • Direction: After each sentence, select the option which best describes that sentence. The first option will always be that the sentence is fine. Other options will not only define the structural flaw but suggest a way of fixing it. Choose the option with the best remedy

17. Letter Writing - formal • Sequencing points: - firstly, secondly, finally • Reinforce an idea: - in addition, furthermore, moreover • Contract things: -on the other hand, nevertheless, however

18. Letter Writing - formal • Referring to a particular subject: - concerning (e.g., your visit to our company…), • Suggestion: - May I suggest that you should… I propose/recommend that you (contact our director, visit at the end of this year..)… I would be delighted to have your opinion on this matter if you would like to have feedback from the person you’re writing to.

19. Letter Writing - formal • Request: - I would be grateful if you could (provide the following information/organize a meeting to discuss the problem)....

20. Letter Writing - formal • End of the letter: - Don’t hesitate to contact me should you require any further information, In conclusion…., Taking all things into consideration…, I look forward to hearing from you, - Dear Sir/Madame,,,,Yours faithfully Dear Mr./Mrs.XXX…Yours sincerely

21. Letter Writing - informal • Suggestion (to do something together): let’s…, why don’t we.., we could always…, let me know what you think.., I prefer…what about you?

22. Letter Writing - informal • End of the letter: • Get back to me quickly so that we can • make plans. Anyway, I must go now. I • have to pick up my daughter from • school. …Take care and keep in touch. • Can’t wait to see you again. • Final signature: • best wishes, Take care, all the best, • love XXX.

23. Letter Writing - informal • You asked me about… (what you could give your father for his birthday)… • Adding something: - also, as well • Contrasting: - after all, what’s more, mind you, having said that • Making Suggestions: - if you like, why don’t you.., If I were you…, what about…

24. Practice: Letter Writing • You are a high school student. You have just finished your mid-term exam. You plan to invite a friend to work as volunteer workers at St. Paul’s Hospital for a week. • Write a letter of about 120 words to persuade him/her to join the plan. Indicate how you’ll be going there, when you’re going, and how long you’ll be working at the hospital.

25. Letter Writing

26. Letter Writing Outline: Topic sentence of Paragraph I Now that our midterm exams are over, I was wondering if you’d like to join me in volunteering at a hospital. (a) We could do something good for the community. (b) We could go to the hospital after school for a week. (c) We could spend time with some patients.

27. Letter Writing Topic sentence of Paragraph II • The place we’d be volunteering at is St. Paul’s Hospital. (b) We could go to St. Paul’s Hospital right after classes. (c) We could volunteer there from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. (d) We could talk to patients, play board games with them, and make sure they are comfortable. Conclusion sentence Let me know if you’re interested.

28. Informal letter– intermediate level Dear Doris: Now that our midterm exams are over, I was wondering if you would like to join me volunteering at a hospital. I think it would be a great chance for us to do something good for the community. We could go to the hospital every day after school for a week, and spend time with the patients there who have no one to keep them company. I’m sure we could brighten their days.

29. Informal letter - intermediate level The place we’d be volunteering at is St. Paul’s Hospital. We could go to the hospital by bus. Our classes end at 5:30 pm, so we could head over there right after school and start our shift at 6:00 pm, and stay until 8:00 pm. During our time at the hospital, we’ll talk to the patients, play board games with them, and make sure they are comfortable. Let me know if you’re interested. best wishes, Linda

30. Informal letter - advanced level Dear Doris: We can breathe a sigh of relief now that our midterm examinations have reached their conclusion! But now that we’ve finished our studies, do you find yourself at a loose end after school? I certainly do! And that is why I have decided to offer my services at the local hospital. Would you care to volunteer alongside me? I know you’re a community- minded person who enjoys giving back to society, and I personally can’t think of a better way to make a difference than by helping those who are infected with a malady.

31. Informal letter - advanced level We would carry out our voluntary work at St. Paul’s Hospital on High Street. We could bus to this hospital. Whilst there, we’ll converse with the patients and help to relieve their boredom by playing games with them. I propose that we make our way there together immediately after school. You can assure your parents that you’ll be home in time for supper. Let me know you thoughts. best wishes, Linda

32. Seven steps to effective writing • Free writing • Thesis construction • Rough draft • Topic sentence • Paragraph development • Transitions • Introduction

33. Topic-based Writing Everyone has a fear of something. It can be something alive or something you have to do. Please write two paragraphs of 120-150 words to talk about ‘The Thing I Fear Most.’

35. Topic-based Writing Paragraph I It’s not unusual to have a fear, whether it’s of heights, public speaking, or small spaces. I have perhaps the most common fear of all: the fear of spiders. When I see a spider, my hands get sweaty, and I begin to tremble. Cautiously and slowly, I back away to what I think is a safe distance, and then I turn and run. If the spider is in my bedroom or the bathroom, I will go to my dad or brother for help. They have to catch and remove the spider before I will enter that room again.

36. Topic-based Writing Paragraph II As I got older, this fear became more and more depressing. Suddenly, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to live by myself unless I learned to deal with my fear of spiders. So, after speaking to a psychologist and doing some research, I started doing things to overcome my fear. I have a toy spider which I keep on my desk. And when I see a spider, I stop and watch it, taking a step toward it if I feel I can. My recovery is still in the early stages, but already I feel less frightened when I see a spider.

37. Brainstorming questions • Why did the competition influence me so much? - It gave me a lesson in overcoming obstacles - We outworked superior rivals • What have I learned? - I need to have the strength of will to work harder - Talent is not the deciding factor - The crucial thing is how much effort one is willing to put in

39. Outline • Topic sentence of Paragraph I Life is full of contests, and the one that impressed me the most was the hockey city championship game I played in when I was in junior high. - trailed by a goal - made it into overtime - scored a winning goal • Topic sentence of Paragraph II That contest influenced my life because it provided a lesson in overcoming obstacles. - defeat superior rivals - strength of will to work harder - deciding factor: effort, not talent • Concluding sentence More often, it comes down to how much effort one is willing to put in to succeed.

40. Topic-based Writing Paragraph I –intermediate level Life is full of contests, and the one that impressed me the most was the hockey city championship game I played in when I was in junior high. My team was trailing by a single goal with just a few minutes remaining in the game. As the clock ticked down, our coach yelled out words of inspiration. Amazingly, we were able to tie the game and send it to overtime, where we eventually score the game-winning goal to become city champions.

41. Topic-based Writing Paragraph II - intermediate level That contest influenced my life because it provided a lesson in overcoming obstacles. My team was up against a squad that possessed superior of skills, but we simply outworked them to win the game. In life, I have tried to keep this lesson in mind. There may be people who are better at certain things than I am, but I know that I have the strength of will to work harder than they do. It’s not always talent that is the deciding factor. More often, it comes down to how much effort one is willing to put in to succeed.

42. Topic-based Writing Paragraph I –advanced level Life is full of contests, and the one that impressed me the most was the English speech contest I participated in last year. My best friend and I had devoted ourselves to mastering our speeches for months beforehand. Spending almost every spare moment writing, improving, memorizing, and practicing our speeches, we encouraged each other through out the whole process. But neither of us ever imagined what was to occur on the long-awaited day of the competition. We both made it to the finals! That’s right – it was me and my best friend competing against each other. After giving the performances of our lives, it was my best friend who was proclaimed the winner.

43. Topic-based Writing Paragraph II –advanced level That contest influenced my life because it taught me some valuable lessons. First of all, I learned that dedication is of paramount importance to success. Without putting in the work, you cannot realistically expect to do well. Second of all, be passionate! My friend and I love English so much that it didn’t feel like work – it was fun! And finally, winning isn’t always everything. Though I felt disappointed that I lost, I was still sincerely happy for my friend. After all, there is much to be gained from taking part, and much to be said for losing graciously.

44. Hands-on Activity Now, try to work out the brainstorming chart with a partner!

45. Elements of Successful Essays • A strong introduction • Focused, Well-organized paragraphs • Logical transitions between paragraphs • Strong conclusions • Statement of the topic’s significance • Calling for further research (and give specific reasons why) • Solution/Recommendation (e.g., ideas about how to correct the problem, or how to make changes)

46. How to write an effective essay • The Introduction - a grabber: to catch & hold attention * a joke, a proverb/quote, an anecdote, a surprising fact * arouse curiosity - the topic (subject) * give 3 reasons (main ideas) for it - the thesis (argument) * 5 Ws + strong statement - related (G/T/Th)

47. Elements of a successful paragraph 1. Unity - start a paragraph with Topic Sentence * Topic Sentence – the topic of the paragraph (the subject), and the controlling idea (specific comments about the topic) * other controlling ideas: use 5Ws (who, when, where, what, why) and How to generates other controlling ideas

48. A structured paragraph • Unity:all sentences in the paragraph focus on one main idea - Coherence:all sentence are clearly related to each other - Development:main ideas are supported with sufficient details and examples to give the validity

49. Elements of a successful paragraph 2. Coherence - how to achieve it? * create logical bridges from one sentence to another by 1) repeat key words 2) substitute with synonyms 3) use pronouns 4) use transition words and discourse markers

50. Hurricanes, which are also called tropical cyclones, exert tremendous power. These violent storms are usually a hundred miles in diameter and their winds can reach velocities of seventy-five miles an hour, or more. Furthermore, the strong winds and heavy rainfall that accompany them can completely destroy a small town in a couple of hours. The energy that is released by an hurricane in one day exceeds the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year. synonym pronoun discourse marker pronoun repeat