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STINKY CHEESE

STINKY CHEESE. HOW TO RESOLVE PROBLEMS WITH PEOPLE. WHAT IS STINKY CHEESE?. THE STORY OF THE STINKY CHEESE MAN. HOW ARE PROBLEMS AT THE AARC LIKE STINKY CHEESE?. If you don’t do something about the stinky cheese, it will just get stinkier . CONFLICT AT WORK IS INEVITABLE.

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STINKY CHEESE

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  1. STINKY CHEESE HOW TO RESOLVE PROBLEMS WITH PEOPLE

  2. WHAT IS STINKY CHEESE? THE STORY OF THE STINKY CHEESE MAN

  3. HOW ARE PROBLEMS AT THE AARC LIKE STINKY CHEESE? If you don’t do something about the stinky cheese, it will just get stinkier.

  4. CONFLICT AT WORK IS INEVITABLE HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE Sartre If you work with people, you will face problems that are uncomfortable and frustrating. So be prepared now to face them later.

  5. HOW DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO STINKY CHEESE? You are in a hurry to get home after three classes, one lab, and four hours of tutoring. You haven’t eaten all day and you’ve got a ten page paper with APA documentation due tomorrow. On the way home, you dash into Krogers to grab some much-needed toilet paper and ramen noodles. You are in the express lane with your two items, when you become engaged in an important headline (Why Khloe is not a Kardashian or Manti Te'o is fooled again. . . ) When suddenly, the man with the basket teaming with nine packages of steak, six six-packs of coke zero, and four loaves of wonder bread--brushes ahead of you. You respond how?

  6. THE AGGRESSIVE REPONSE Hey YOU! What do you think you are doing?! SEEMS TO ENJOY CONFLICT Angry assumptions Alienating comments Attack mode Victim-attitude Loud voice Emotionally-charged gesticulations (!) Ready to win at the expense of others

  7. THE PASSIVE RESPONSE AVOIDS CONFLICT Looks the other way Suppresses feelings Weakly smiles Forces small talk Allows needs to go unmet Wants to keep the peace at all costs

  8. INEFFECTIVE RESPONSES

  9. AN EFFECTIVE RESPONSE Defuses the conflict Maintains the client/employee/ co-worker/friend When we do that, we say that we have successfully CUT THE CHEESE!

  10. BUTTER PAUSE LISTEN REFER I REPEAT HOLD BACK FACE SWIM

  11. WELCOMESTINKY CHEESE PROBLEMS SOLUTIONS

  12. POWER-PAUSE Before you say anything—pause and breathe deeply. Make eye contact, keep your face neutral, and take one long but natural breath. It will create an important beginning point for your conversation. It will also create a subtle platform of power. Communication Handbook: Presentations and Speeches

  13. NEUTRAL FACE Recognize and effectively use the nonverbal cues that make up 95-98% of our communication process. In many cases, what we say is less important than how we say it or the other nonverbal signals we send out, such as eye contact, facial expression, tone of voice, posture, gesture and touch. Your nonverbal messages can either produce a sense of interest, trust, and desire for connection–or they can generate confusion, distrust, and stress. Segal J., Smith, M.A., Robinson, and Segal R., 2012. Stress at work. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/work_stress_management.htm

  14. MOTIVATESTINKY CHEESE PROBLEMS SOLUTIONS

  15. START WITH I Simply put, if you start a sentence off with “You,” it comes off as more of a judgment or attack, and puts people on the defensive. If you start with “I,” the focus is more on how you are feeling and how you are affected by their behavior. Also, it shows more ownership of your reactions, and less blame. Scott, E.. (2011). Assertiveness Training. http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/howtoassert.htm

  16. PASS THE BUTTER VOICE In a confrontational setting, your tone of voice should become slightly firmer and deeper, not necessarily louder.. . . Be careful to keep a calm, businesslike tone even though it is very easy to be sarcastic or patronizing. How to Handle Patient Confrontations, Texas Medical Association, http://www.texmed.org/template.aspx?id=1597 Quit hogging the butter old lady!

  17. INVOLVESTINKY CHEESE PROBLEMS SOLUTIONS

  18. SWIM I

  19. NO BUTS We are so on to “BUT.” When we hear the familiar formula: Nice comment + BUT we know that the next statement is some big negative about ourselves. We know that the first statement, the compliment, was just BS to soften the blow of the negative.

  20. HOLD BACK Some thoughts are best left unsaid. Fisher, Ury, Patton, 2011

  21. STUDY TIPSTINKY CHEESE PROBLEMS SOLUTIONS

  22. LISTEN Allow the other side to let off steam. Often one effective way to deal with people’s anger, frustrations, and other emotions is to help them release those feelings. People obtain psychological release through the simple process of recounting their grievances to an attentive audience.. . . Letting off steam may make it easier to talk rationally later. Fisher, Ury, Patton, 2011

  23. BE THE BROKEN RECORD Your response is to stay firm, use a calm tone of voice, and repeat over and over what you are willing or able to do. Don't waste time coming up with new excuses or reasons why; this just engages the [person] in an argument and suggests that the policy can be changed. Simply repeat your position politely and calmly. How to Handle Patient Confrontations, Texas Medical Association, http://www.texmed.org/template.aspx?id=1597

  24. PROMISESSTINKY CHEESE PROBLEMS SOLUTIONS

  25. REFERRALS • Counseling • Financial Aid • Advising Center • Professor • Program Director

  26. BUTTER PAUSE LISTEN REFER I REPEAT HOLD BACK FACE SWIM

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