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Planning Life-Changing Retreats Plus Fabulous New Forum Exercises

Planning Life-Changing Retreats Plus Fabulous New Forum Exercises. Personal & Family. Business & Leadership. Your Forum. Retreat. Panelists. Carrie Stone Terry Plochman Kevin McHugh Ken Tyler. We are here on Earth to do good for others. What the others are here for,

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Planning Life-Changing Retreats Plus Fabulous New Forum Exercises

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  1. Planning Life-Changing RetreatsPlusFabulous New Forum Exercises Personal & Family Business & Leadership Your Forum Retreat

  2. Panelists • Carrie Stone • Terry Plochman • Kevin McHugh • Ken Tyler

  3. We are here on Earth to do good for others. What the others are here for, I do not know. - W. H. Auden (1907–1973)

  4. My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot. - Ashleigh Brilliant UC Berkeley 'street' philosopher

  5. Results Of A Life-ChangingRetreat • Building Blocks of Life-Changing Retreats Terry Plochman

  6. Results Of A Life-Changing Retreat • Unexpected “ah-hah’s.” • Deeper relationships with other members. • A deeper relationship with yourself. • Transferable skills valuable outside the Forum.

  7. Results Of A Life-Changing Retreat • A new, or renewed, connection with your sense of meaning and purpose • A new, or renewed, connection with your Forum’s sense of meaning and purpose • New capacities, capabilities. • Improved emotional intelligence

  8. 12 Building Blocks of Life-Changing Retreats • Safety & Trust • Leadership • Being Present • Listening • Risk-Taking • Group Dynamics / Maintenance • Exercises and discussions with: • The “Fundamental Question” • Introspection • Disclosure • Mirroring • Solidarity-Building Experiences • Truth-Telling • One-on-One • Playfulness and Seriousness • Flexibility Carrie Ken & Terry Exercise Handouts Kevin Terry

  9. Tasks Pre-work Exercises Recreation Meals Logistics Maintenance/Process Pre-retreat interviews or survey Checking in. How am I doing as a member of this group? What’s up right now? Where are we going? Am I truly present? Formal Closing. 12 Building Blocks of Life-Changing Retreats Group Dynamics / Maintenance

  10. 12 Building Blocks of Life-Changing Retreats One-on-One

  11. 12 Building Blocks of Life-Changing Retreats Constraints: Budget Skills Group Stage Fear/Apprehension

  12. 12 Building Blocks of Life-Changing Retreats Constraints Budget: A Forum is only as wealthy as its least wealthy member Skills: Hire a resource, build someone’s skills, or use retreat to develop skills. Doesn’t have to be the moderator who has the skills. Group Stage: Work on safety, trust, inclusion and conflict management as the foundation for life-changing retreats. Use retreats to move group to next stage. Apprehension: Recognize it and differentiate between discomfort and danger.

  13. 12 Building Blocks of Life-Changing Retreats PlanningStep #1: Consultation & AssessmentStep #2: Brainstorming ElementsStep # 3: Turn Elements into an Agenda(refer to page 56 – 58 of Retreat workbook)

  14. The Role of Group Dynamics Ken Tyler

  15. The Role of Group Dynamics Why are Group Dynamics Important? • Knowing how group dynamics work helps you understand and transform your Forum • Tracking your Forum dynamics will help you see what the group needs • Working your Forum dynamics can effect individual and group change

  16. The Role of Group Dynamics Negative Forum Group Dynamics How Group Dynamics Work Positive Forum Group Dynamics Reveal cracks in the Forum‘s shell Set the stage fornew adventures

  17. The Role of Group Dynamics Tracking: That “Team Coach Feeling”! • Tracking is watching: • Who talks most? Who talks least? • Who takes risks? Who does not? • Who gravitates to whom? • Group and Foruming Processes • How do decisions get made? • Who is “in” and who is “out” • Who is “on top” and who is not? • How do members position themselves? Tracking:See Retreat Workbook page 15

  18. The Role of Group Dynamics Three significant functions to use group dynamics for life changing retreats: How To Use Group Dynamics • Catalysing • Peaking • Synergising

  19. The Role of Group Dynamics Catalyze Forum’s Movement to A Higher Phase • Organize tasks together can accentuate group behavior desired and can build solidarity • Build & strengthen One-on-One Relationships • Break up any “sub-groupings” • Go for consensus on decisions • Support and include those who are not yet “in” • Reposition space for more equitable interactions • Dismantle hierarchies • Formations, positioning and space planning Solidarity-Building Experiences: See Retreat Workbook page

  20. The Role of Group Dynamics Peaking The Retreat Experience • Each retreat you take on is an opportunity to reach an “intensity” high point • Each “intensity” High Point is an opportunity to grow

  21. The Role of Group Dynamics Why Peaking? • The mental fortitude gained from consistently exceeding your perceived limits is what makes transformation so life-altering. • This discomfort felt from exerting maximum effort is only momentary. • Your sense of accomplishment, however, will not only endure, but it will also develop into healthy confidence in all areas of your life. • It boils down to this: the further you learn to push yourself, the greater your opportunity for growth.

  22. The Role of Group Dynamics Peaking The Intensity: Group Dynamics Tips • Stepwise progression of activities and events toward the breakthru event or activity. • Target the combinations and permutations to enhance the chances of “breakthroughs” to intense transformations. • Who is supportive to whom? • Who is challenging for whom? • Who needs supporting? • Who needs challenging?

  23. The Role of Group Dynamics Synergizing During The Retreat New levels can only emerge from new combinations of things different in form, function, perspective If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten.

  24. The Role of Group Dynamics Synergizing Tips • Create a “Team charter” a “Team-spirit” • Cultivate “Appreciative Commentary” • Create interdependence – dependent upon one another to achieve a collective goal • Add new ingredients: risk, exposure, fear, novelty, exhileration

  25. The Role of Group Dynamics Synergist Techniques • Adventure learning • Wilderness and/or outdoor activities • Team-based training • Work in a unit toward a common goal • Action learning • Giving Forum an actual problem to work with

  26. The Role of Group Dynamics Designing Breakthroughs • Track how Forum works together. • Do a pre-retreat assessment of your Forum. • Design your retreat around your understanding of the Forum: • Involving the members in planning the retreat. • Select the right members to initiate the right activities. • Create diad and triad groupings using what you know of the group to enhance the chances of “breakthroughs.” • Select activities that mix in new and different ingredients. Assessments: See Retreat Workbook

  27. It’s Time to Tell the Truth Kevin McHugh

  28. It‘s Time To Tell The Truth Retreats are a great time to explore and learn about the power of honesty delivered with compassion. “If your Forum can’t tell you, then who will?”

  29. It‘s Time To Tell The Truth Power of Forum My decision to make your life’s challenges and opportunities one of my primary concerns.

  30. It‘s Time To Tell The Truth Access to the Power • Trusting • Honesty • Speaking Your Truth • Accepting Truth As Experienced By Other Members

  31. It‘s Time To Tell The Truth Trusting What I share openly won’t be used or responded to in a way that causes pain. • Material Pain…Breach in Confidentiality • Emotional Pain…Embarrassment, Inadequacy, Fear, Anger, Sadness, Shame Requires Skill, Faith, Risk-Taking

  32. It‘s Time To Tell The Truth Truth-Telling Questions • What do I really feel and think about you and what you are doing and saying? • What do you really feel and think about me and what I am doing or saying? We explore our blind spots, broken records, vulnerabilities and opportunities

  33. It‘s Time To Tell The Truth One Truth About The Truth • It is impossible NOT to have a judgment, opinion, feeling, or reaction about another member • Being “non-judgmental” on the inside is NOT an option. It shows up no matter what.

  34. It‘s Time To Tell The Truth Speaking Your Truth Sharing your truth in a manner, style and motivation that communicates love, acceptance and compassion IS THE ONLY OPTION. It’s not WHAT we say, but HOW we say it. Speaking Non-Judgmentally is the key.

  35. It‘s Time To Tell The Truth Truth-Telling Skills • What is your motive? Where are you really coming from with your reaction to the member? Is this about me or about my care for the member? • If I truly care about the member I speak carefully – FULL OF CARING

  36. It‘s Time To Tell The Truth Issues Clearing or Clean Talk A method to manage and contain emotion during difficult dialogue that is not effective in an informal style. • Mirroring • Facts • Feelings • Judgments • Wants

  37. Why Use Professional Resources Carrie Stone

  38. Why Use Professional Resources For A Retreat • An outside facilitator helps the Forum by: • Shifting most of the content planning and workload to the facilitator • Creating a partner for the moderator • Allowing the moderator to act more fully as a participant • 2. A professionally trained facilitator can lead Forum members to a deeper point of intimacy and facilitate break through honesty and vulnerability.

  39. Why Use Professional Resources For A Retreat • An independent resource can assess group dynamics to enhance the Forum experience for all • As an intervention to get the group moving again or a Forum in crisis • Provide new stimulating exercises • Explore and suggest new topics • Help to facilitate exposure to different styles, interests, strengths and experiences

  40. The Benefits Of Pre-Work Ken Tyler

  41. The Benefits Of Pre-Work • Create anticipation • Get “buy-in” to agenda • Hit the ground running: establish the uniqueness of the experience and prepare members for it • Identify the key “buttons” to help Forum move forward including conflict

  42. Imperative: Free Forum Survey http://forums.ypo.org Forum Diagnostic (US$99 per Forum) http://www.ypoforumdiagnosticsurvey.com Strongly Recommended: Activity or Special Interest Survey Sociometric 360° Recommended: Other assessments/inventories as appropriate to Forum Have members prepare “artifacts/sociofacts” from their lives Have members keep a log Review achievements since previous retreat and prepare goals for upcoming year The Benefits Of Pre-Work Retreat Pre Work Assessments: See Retreat Workbook

  43. The Benefits Of Pre-Work Conduct an Activity or Special Interest Survey Select something you would not otherwise do outside of Forum

  44. The Benefits Of Pre-Work Conduct A Sociometric 360° Understand yourselves and your internal Forum relationships

  45. The Benefits Of Pre-Work Other Assessments/Inventories • Conflict Management Styles • Leadership Profile • Love Maps • Life Maps • Family metrics

  46. The Benefits Of Pre-Work Have members bring • Artifacts • Sociofacts

  47. The Benefits Of Pre-Work Have members keep a log on • Fitness • Diet • Time management etc. • Gratitudes • Fears

  48. The Benefits Of Pre-Work Review achievements since previous retreat and prepare goals for upcoming year Distribute those sealed envelopes from last year‘s retreat‘s goal setting session and have everyone prepare their goals for the upcoming year in their chosen fields • Relationships • Career • Health and fitness • Finance • Spirituality • Emotions and Intellect

  49. " The real voyage of discovery consists not in making new landscapes… but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust

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