Technical English: Fewer is better!

1. Technical English:Fewer is better! John Morris Faculty of Engineering,Mahasarakham University Computer Science/Electrical and Computer Engineering, The University of Auckland Iolanthe II leaves the Hauraki Gulf under full sail – Auckland-Tauranga Race, 2007

2. Something to avoid ReDUNDANCY

3. Remember our Goalfrom the first workshop • Your goal is communication • Concise • Precise • Efficient • You are not writing • a novel • a literary masterpiece • haiku (日本话十七音节诗） • 成语 We’ve already seen a few examples of cases where words or phrases can be removedasunnecessary orredundant Here we’ll look at some more .. 17 syllables 4 syllables!

4. English is not your first language? • Possibly an advantage!! • You can write a perfectly good scientific paper using the grammar you learnt in your first few English lessons! • Avoid redundant expressions • They just provide more opportunities to make mistakes! • If it’s not essential, leave it out! • Don’t pad out your paper with anything not really needed • Again, readers, reviewers and editors will appreciate your concise style • They only want to read enough to understand your work!

5. This example from the first workshop .. • Most taken from real papers …. Relatively early, some scholars made researches on motion estimation .. [13,25,26] Some scholars studied motion estimation …[13,25,26] • I removed ‘relatively early’ : it doesn’t add much .. • It’s rarely necessary to mention when previous work was published .. • Past tense ‘studied’says enough! • Your reader can find the date in the reference list • Remove irrelevant detail to keep things short!!

6. References to the past • It is usually sufficient that work was published at some time in the past but it’s rarely important exactly when! • So all expressions like In 2001, … Some decades ago .. For several years, .. • can usually be safely left out .. • Such sentences will usually have a past tense verb and reference(s) at the end! • Even extremely old work will often have been written by someone extremely well known ..

7. References to the past • Even extremely old work will often have been written by someone extremely well known .. In the 17th century, Newton established that apples fall … • Almost everyone knows who Newton is and roughly when he published his famous works, so, although you might want to emphasize that the work is old, just Newton established that apples fall … • is probably enough!

8. References to the future • Look at our approach will be further investigated in the future • Several redundancies here • will • further • in the future • We definitely don’t need all of them! We will investigate this approach further • is probably enough! • I retained ‘further’ because it does imply a little more than simple future but if you’re pressed for space, you could write ‘extend’ We plan to extend this work

9. Specific verbs • In the direct active style, the key word will be a verb • There are many verbs, commonly used in scientific work,that have very specific meanings egclassify means to put into classes or assign labels to .. • so We classified objects into groups with size <5mm, size 5mm and less than 10mm and size 10mm or larger • can be written We classified objects as <5mm, 5mm and less than 10mm, 10mm or larger • ‘groups’ is redundant: write ‘classified as’ instead of ‘classified into groups’ • ‘size’ disappeared also, because specifying the actual size makes it redundant and unnecessary!

10. Duplication • Only use two words or phrases that mean the same thing when you want to emphasize something very strongly • Objectivity – a basic principle of good technical writing – suggests that you should • simply present the facts and • an unbiased assessment of them • Thus emphasis by repetition should not be necessary • Facts should support your argument by themselves • Thus Although the laboratory work can be carried out prior to the field work commencement, … • can be written Although the laboratory work can be carried out prior to the field work, … • ‘prior’ and ‘commencement’ imply the same thing – only one is needed

11. Duplication • Another example A dynamic cone penetrometer is one of the most frequently used devices employed for determination of in-situ engineering properties. can be written A dynamic cone penetrometer (DCP) is frequently used to determine in-situ engineering properties. • ‘used’ and ‘employed’ imply the same thing – only one is needed • ‘one of the most’ does not add anything significant to ‘frequently’ – so it was removed also • Using ‘most’ also goes against the advice to avoid superlatives • Qualifying ‘most’ by ‘one of the ..’ might make it ‘safe’ but also leads to a vaguer statement, just remove it! • Note the direct active style again • Use the verb determine rather than the noun determination

12. Duplication • Don’t add obvious qualifications measured data Is just data • It will generally be obvious from the context whether it was measured or collected! • An obvious object Raw material was selected from twelve sources of highway construction sites • to Raw material was taken from twelve highway construction sites • You must take something from a source! • Note use of the simpler word ‘taken’ instead of ‘selected’ • In this case, the selection criteria were not stated so there is no reason for the longer word!

13. Duplication • Don’t duplicate • A table heading Locations and areas of material sources Is just Locations of material sources • Although the table contained separate columns for specific location and general area, locations is sufficient – it covers both! • I might further reduce this to Sample sites • Good captions are short and explicit

14. Duplication • Don’t say the same thing twice! in the range between 1.6-2.0 t/m3approximately should be in the range 1.6-2.0 t/m3 • You’ve already specified a range, so approximately is redundant • Note that between is not needed • Formally ‘range’ and ‘1.6 to 2.0 t/m3’ are ‘noun phrases in apposition’ and don’t require the preposition • However this course aims to avoid the technicalities of English grammar as much as possible, • so just remember this phrase – it’s very common in scientific work!

15. Duplication • Don’t use the same word twice! X and Y were used to classify the soil based on AASHTO soil classification system can be reduced to X and Y were used to classify the soil in accord with the AASHTO system • Here, AASHTO is an acronym for the standards authority, so ‘system’ is more than adequate • In fact, you might turn this into active form We classified the soil in accord with the AASHTO rules using X and Y • Replacing ‘used to classify’ with the simpler ‘classified’

16. More examples .. • Most taken from real papers …. XYZ helps to reduce the number of ... XYZ reducesthe number of … • Don’t be vague! • It either reduces or it doesn’t .. • ‘helps to’ is only appropriate if there is another factor … • If there is – just write .. • XYZ and PQR reducethe number of … • iebe explicit!

17. More examples .. pursues the goal of minimising to tries to minimize • Here ‘the goal’ is not necessary .. • In this context, the only thing you pursue is a goal! • But ‘tries’ combined with a verb (direct active style!)says the same thing in fewer and simpler words

18. More examples .. After completion of cooking, … to After cooking, … • ‘after’ implies ‘completion’ • Unless you need to emphasize that cooking is complete, ie partly cooked items could be transferred to the next step!

19. More examples .. Score: 6 words  5 words (16% less!) • Taken from real papers …. .. four-way parallel searches are employed using .... .. a four-fold parallel search used … • Verb is ‘used’ • ‘four-fold’ (= four times) is better than ‘four-way’ , but ‘four-way’ is acceptable

20. Ocean Marina,Jomtien Nautical English… At sea, you can find an entirely new language! It’s not a ‘rope’, it’s a halyard, sheet, warp, stay, line, …. You can study this ancient language .. and have a lot of fun .. at Jomtienby the sea … Sign up now!!