Journal Entry: Describe what you see .

Journal Entry:Describe what you see. Title it.

Journal EntryDescribe what you see now. Title it.

Exploding a Moment Writing a Scene in Slow-Motion: Using Snapshots and Thoughtshots

Hypersensitivity of your senses Imagine that all of your senses are set to hypersensitivity, meaning that you now have a heighten sense of sight, smell, touch, taste and hear. You can see every detail, smell things in the air, your touch is so sensitive that you can feel everything, you can even taste things that are in the air, and you can hear every sound including the beating of your own heart and those around you. Then reexamine the photo and begin listing what your senses sense when they are set to hypersensitivity mode. You may simply create a list of words and phrases or you might use columns labeled with each one of the senses.

Describe what you see now with your hypersensitive senses. Title it.

What are Snapshots? • Snapshots ask writers to put on their writing binoculars and help readers create pictures in their minds. Writers can create snapshots by describing every part of a scene in great detail. • Be creative! Be specific! • Some of the best snapshots are those that use at least two of the five senses. What does this scene smell like? What does it look and feel like? • Now you try it. Here’s a simple sentence to work with: • “Joey had red hair. He loved going to the county fair even though he was too short for the scary rides.”

The Exploded Snapshot! • Joey’s fiery afro made him seem taller than he actually was, but in truth the top of his head was still just shy of the four-foot mark. He inhaled popcorn-y air and stomped his foot against the hard dirt when the ride operator shook his head and motioned to the next child in line. From the sprawling line behind him, Joey could hear people murmuring over the sound of the carousel music and he spun to scowl at them. Most of them looked to be about his age, mouths full of cotton candy and pockets full of chewing gum, but somehow they were just tall enough. Joey hung his head low as they filed past him.

Snapshots Show, don’t tell. Try another and create an Exploded Snapshot: “The little girl looked so tired. She clearly needed a nap.”

Snapshots Show, don’t tell. Her sleepy brown eyes hardened into red-rimmed slits. She cocked her plastic Viking helmet aggressively, the horns sticking out only a little more than her curls. One fist clutched a decapitated lollipop, the other a cardboard sword. She leveled the point at my chest. “You mean dragon!” she growled. “You’llnever make me nap!”

Thoughtshots Tell, don’t show. Share your inner thoughts and feelings as a writer. Put yourself in the scene. • Flashback: a character thinks back about something that has already happened. (Marty remembered going back to the future…)

Thoughtshots • Flash-Ahead: a character thinks about something that is going to happen or might happen in the future. Writers often use flash- aheads when a character is trying to make a decision. (The Doctor thought about visiting the new planet. What would it be like? Would he have friends? Would the aliens serenade him?)

Thoughtshots • Internal Dialogue—a character thinks about what is happening at that moment. (He thought about what the teacher had just said. His mind raced, but he didn’t know the answer. Why did she call on him? …)

Back to Joey… • So, to continue our earlier tale… • “Joey was upset because he could not go on the Aerial Gravitron, until he saw some clowns walk by on stilts and got a good idea.” • How might a thoughtshot improve this sentence? How might a snapshot? • Volunteers?

Joey, Joey. Oh, Silly Joey. “Joey was walking away with heavy feet, the unconquered Aerial Gravitron looming behind him. He remembered how his brother had boasted about riding that spinning zoom monster last summer; ever since then he had wanted to do the same. He imagined what it would be like to be spinning at supersonic speeds dozens of feet above the ground and grumbled to himself, “What difference does a centimeter really make?” Vibrant colors snagged his gaze and he tilted his head toward the sound of obnoxious honking. Painted clowns loomed on stilts. Stilts? Stilts! Joey grinned at his own genius.”

Explosion!! Techniques • Snapshot Tips: • Use two or more of the five senses: hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling, seeing • Remember showing, not telling! • To Explode a Moment: set the scene in slowwwwwwmottttiooooon. • ThoughtshotTips and Techniques: • Flashback • Flash-Ahead • Internal Dialogue

Journal Entry: Describe what you see .