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Parenting Through Crisis

Parenting Through Crisis. The Event. Produces fear or occurrence to the risk of life/injury. -This activates the stress response Disrupts levels of communication. -Inability to communicate safety and/or support prolongs the stress response. Your child is in proximity of the event.

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Parenting Through Crisis

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  1. Parenting Through Crisis

  2. The Event • Produces fear or occurrence to the risk of life/injury. -This activates the stress response • Disrupts levels of communication. -Inability to communicate safety and/or support prolongs the stress response. • Your child is in proximity of the event. -Involved, nearby, brushes with, knowledge of. • Your child has a relationship with those affected by the event. -Level of connection ranging from close to acquaintance, seen before, same age, knew of, etc. • The event encapsulates your child’s environment. - The entire school is damaged or threatened.

  3. What is Critical Incident Stress? A natural reaction of a normal person to an abnormal event. Such an extraordinary event can produce physical, emotional, cognitive and behavioral responses immediately or delayed.

  4. Parents • News of event activates the perception of child being at risk • Inability to communicate heightens stress • Lack of information heightens stress. = Increase sense of helplessness Only until safety is perceived, the stress response remains activated.

  5. After the Event • Physical safety and order being restored. • Stress response deactivated • Find a way to attend to your reactions as the child will take cues from you.

  6. Children’s CIS Reactions Based on Developmental Age • Preschool ages 1-5 • Elementary School 6-11 • Middle School 12-14 • High School 15-18

  7. Preschool 1-5 Developmental Milestones • Attachment, bonding • Exploring- mobile, testing new boundaries • Security- maintain safe home base, receives reassurance to separate Disrupting Event • Child displays regressive behaviors • Increase clinging, thumb sucking, potty trouble, sleep disruption Healthy Responses • Doses of love, affection, attention and reassurance • Return to routine • Do not watch news coverage on TV with child in room

  8. Elementary School 6-11 Developmental challenges • Managed separation from home • Self esteem and confidence • Role and fantasy play • Inquisitive • Sibling rivalry Disrupting Event • Fantasy/realty blurred • Affect and emotions out of sync (excited to see a fire truck) • Loss of contact with outside world and structure • Regressive behavior- same as preschool behaviors plus aggressiveness with siblings, impulsive, isolation and self absorption Healthy Responses • Return to routine and structure • Daily discussions to intercept and clarify child distortions of the event • Return to play • Contact school to understand how they will address the event. • Hugs and reassurances.

  9. Middle School 12-14 Developmental Challenges • Transitional period • The height of awkwardness • Peer group and the opposite sex • Emergence of personality Disrupting Event • Struggle with getting back in the flow of their busy schedule • Resistiveness • Decline in school performance • Loss of interest in activities Healthy Responses • Respond with the inclusion of family and friends • Revisit history of positive experiences • Reassurance that things will be ok • Contact school • Hugs

  10. High School 14-18 Developmental Challenges • Peer acceptance • Separation/Individuation • Limit testing • Identity formation Disrupting Event • Emotional intensity and swings • Denial of its impact/terribly frightened inside • More rebellious or isolative • Somatic complaints • Substance Abuse • Life changing decisions (not going to college) Healthy Responses • Create or identify safe havens (at home, school counselor, drop-in centers) • Support positive peer movement (rally) • Return to routine. • Delay life changing decisions • Respect teens need to self work • Hugs if the let you, Listen if they’ll speak to you

  11. Summation • Remember reactions to traumatic events are normal. It is the event that is abnormal. • Tend to your stress responses as well. Children will take cues from you. • Understand the developmental challenges of your child to identify how your child was affected and the return to routine. • Contact school to understand their approach to the event. • Seek professional assistance if symptoms or behaviors do not return to their pre-event function.

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