Adjusting to Family Changes

1. Adjusting to Family Changes Shari James Kiah Thompson Brad Campbell Ricky Reese Yoshia Huger

2. What to know About Divorce • If parents or stepparents have conflict they may go through a process in which they identify their problems and agree upon solutions and reestablish intimacy is called martial conflict resolution. • The attitude of each partner is important in martial conflict resolution. • In a healthy relationship each partner

3. What happens During Divorce • Divorce is a legal way to end a marriage in which a judge or court decides the terms with respect property, child custody, and spousal support. • Most married couples who divorce experience a six stage process.

4. Stage one • The marriage deteriorates. • Partners show less affection and begin to detach from one another. • Conflict resolution may be tried. • The first stage may last up to several years.

5. Stage Two • One or both partners seek legal counsel. • The different options for ending the marriage are examined.

6. Stage Three • Issues regarding property and support payments are finalized. • The property in a marriage usually refers to the home and household furnishings the couple owns. • One partner may agree to pay spousal support to the other.

7. Stage Four, Five, & Six • Issues of child custody, visitation rights, and child support are negotiated, and the divorce is finalized. • In stage five each of the partners establish a new identity with family, friends, and co-workers. • In stage six each partner makes emotional adjustments to the new lifestyle that results from being divorced. This stage affects both marriage partners and their children.

8. When A parent loses a job • When a parent loses their job: has a different effect on family members. • The parents feelings: the parent may become: depressed, disappointed, lose self-confidence and feel embarrassed. • Loss of income: a loss in income may require changes in living standards, they might lose their homes, may move in with other family members, • Fear of the unknown: the teens of parents who lose their jobs may feel anxious, and worried.

9. HOW TO ADJUST TO LIVING CUSTODY FAMILY • In most cases , children raised in a single custody family live with their mothers • Women often experience a drop on their standard of living after divorce, children are likely to have a drop in their living, too. • In some cases , this puts them at risk for being economically disadvantaged.

10. HOW TO ADJUST TO LIVING CUSTODY FAMILY • This means they may lack some of the resources that other families have available , such as good medical car, clothing, food, and shelter • Children who live with their father may also experience economic hardships • Teens can adapt to changes in their standard of living by recognizing the financial pressures on their parents and discussing ways to control expenses

11. CHANGE IN CONTACT WITH ROLE MODELS • In a 2 parent family there is both a male and a female role model • If parents divorce some teens have little or no contact with one of their parents • In many cases it is their father that whom they see less • Unless there are other family members in their lives these teens may not experience the benefits of having female and male role models. • By talking to their parents about the change and scheduling time to be together, teens spend more time with their parents. • Teens can seek adult mentors through such organizations as big brothers and big sisters to help them adjust to a single –custody family.

12. How to Adjust to a Step Family • Recognizing these changes and possible effects can help teens make adjustments. Change in Family Rules • When a stepfamily is formed, the parent and stepparent must determine what set of rules the children will follow. Often, children have been raised with specific rules that may not be the same as those in the step family. Changes in Budget • Parents and stepparents have many decisions to make about how to spend money. The two sets of children may be used to having different guidelines for spending money. Changes in Family Relationships • The success of the blended family often depends how stepsiblings interact. Clear guidelines for interactions are important. • Some teens who live in blended families feel resentment toward their stepparent. They may think that the stepparent doesn’t like them, or they won’t treat them as they would like to be treated. • With effective communication and mutual respect they can establish a healthful relationship with their stepparent.

13. Teens may feel sad and lonely and may lose contact Loss of family income and change in living arrangements Fear for the family members safety Symptoms of anxiety and Depression Those who are worried, fearful, lonely may have anxiety or/and depression How to adjust if a family member is called to military duty

14. How to adjust if a family member is called to military duty cont’d • To avoid this, keep in touch with family member by email, phones, or email if possible. • Keep a journal of the events of the family member. • Limit the amount of media coverage of military conflicts or read about them.

15. If a Parent Goes to Jail • When a parent goes to jail, it is especially stressful for teens. Understanding the possible effects can help teens adjust. • Loss of family income and change in living arrangements is possible. • Loss of income may make the family have to move to another place or in with relatives.

16. If a parent goes to jailCont. • If the parent or guardian who goes to jail is the only person providing care for a teen, that teen may end up living with other relatives or placed in foster care. • Foster care is an arrangement in which an unrelated adult assumes temporary responsibility for a child.

17. Criticism from Society • Teens who have a parent sentenced to jail may have to deal with criticism from society. • It can be very embarrassing to listen to comments about the criminal behavior of a parent or guardian. • Teens who have a parent or guardian in jail must recognize that they are not responsible for what happened.

18. Reduced Contact • Teens may or may not be permitted to visit the parent or guardian who is in jail. • Some teens may be relieved that there is no contact. • Teens may feel lonely and depressed and may fear for the safety of their parents or guardian, as a result they may have a hard time concentrating and school performance might decline.

19. Lesson 14 quiz • In most cases, children raised in single-custody family? A. have more money than children raised in two-parent homes. B. live with their fathers. C. have more stressors than children raised in two-partner homes. D. Spend more time with parents and get better grades than children raised in two-parent homes.

20. 2. In the first stage of divorce? A. partners seek legal counsel. B. partners show more affection. C. the marriage deteriorates. D. different options for ending the marriage are examined.

21. 3. Martial conflict resolution? A. is possible without the cooperation of one or both partners. B. never includes outside intervention. C. may require outside intervention. D. can occur even if one person does not want to change.

22. 4. The term blendedfamily means the same as? • Teen marriage • divorce or dissolution • step-family • Single-custody family.

23. 5. Among changes to which teens may have to adjust when a parent remarries is? A. having more free time. B. change in one’s own identity. C. the end of grieving for an earlier way of life. D. different family rules.

24. 6. If a family member is called to military duty, teens should? A. watch as much military coverage as possible to keep informed. B. not worry others in the family by sharing your fears. C. keep in as close and in touch with family member. D. all of the above.

25. 7. When a parent loses a job? A. discuss the situation with friends and acquaintances. B. give your parent emotional support. C. it’s not your problem. D. spend money as you always have.

26. 8. If teen’s parent goes to jail, a teen may experience? A. Symptoms of anxiety and depression B. Embarrassment C. Change in living arrangements D. All of the above.

27. 9. One consequences of the loss of a job by a parent is? A. the negative effect on the parent’s feelings. B. increased self-esteem for teens. C. increased self-esteem for the parent. D. security about the future.

28. 10. In most single-custody family, the role model most often lost from a teen’s life is? A. the father B. the mother C. friends D. all of the above.