Hard Is Soft (Plans, # s ) Soft Is Hard (people, customers, values, relationships)

1. “Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.”—Henry Clay

2. Hard Is Soft (Plans, #s)Soft Is Hard (people, customers, values, relationships)

3. [An obsession with] Listening is ... the ultimate mark of Respect. Listening is ... the heart and soul of Engagement. Listening is ... the heart and soul of Kindness. Listening is ... the heart and soul of Thoughtfulness. Listening is ... the basis for true Collaboration. Listening is ... the basis for true Partnership. Listening is ... a Team Sport. Listening is ... a Developable Individual Skill.* (*Though women are far better at it than men.) [cont.]

4. Listening is ... the engine of superior EXECUTION. Listening is ... the key to making the Sale. Listening is ... the key to Keeping the Customer’s Business. Listening is ... Learning. Listening is ... the sine qua non of Renewal. Listening is ... the sine qua non of Creativity. Listening is ... the sine qua non of Innovation. Listening is ... Source #1 of “Value-added.” Listening is ... Differentiator #1. Listening is ... Profitable.*(*The “R.O.I.” from listening is higher than from any other single activity.) Listening is … the bedrock which underpins a Commitment to EXCELLENCE

5. *Listening is of the utmost … strategic importance!*Listening is a proper … core value! *Listening is … trainable!*Listening is a … profession!

6. Listen! • Listening Leaders: The Ten Golden Rules To Listen, Lead & Succeed—Lyman Steil and Richard Bommelje • The Zen of Listening—Rebecca Shafir • Effective Listening Skills—Dennis Kratz and Abby Robinson Kratz • Are You Really Listening?—Paul Donoghue and Mary Siegel • Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead—Michael Hoppe • Listening: The Forgotten Skill —Madelyn Burley-Allen

7. “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”—Dale Carnegie

8. Another [key] byproduct of listening-engaging.

9. Listening. The key to/cornerstone of every relationship. Superior relationships … the key to, literally, everything!

10. “Allied commands depend on mutual confidence [and this confidence] is gained, above all through the development offriendships.” —General D.D. Eisenhower, Armchair General* (05.08)*“Perhaps his most outstanding ability [at West Point] was the ease with which he made friends and earned the trust of fellow cadets who came from widely varied backgrounds; it was a quality that would pay great dividends during his future coalition command

11. Listening In effect, Eisenhower’s principal “weapon” as coalition leader.

12. R.O.I.R.

13. Return On Investment In Relationships

14. The idea here is to think directly about your “investment” in relationship building and maintenance.

15. Listening’s corollary: the Art & Practice of Asking.

16. Listen! Ask! • Listening Leaders: The Ten Golden Rules To Listen, Lead & Succeed —Lyman Steil and Richard Bommelje • The Zen of Listening—Rebecca Shafir • Effective Listening Skills—Dennis Kratz and Abby Robinson Kratz • Are You Really Listening?—Paul Donoghue and Mary Siegel • Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead —Michael Hoppe • Listening: The Forgotten Skill—Madelyn Burley-Allen • Leading with Questions: How Leaders Find the Right Solutions by Knowing What to Ask—Michael Marquardt • Smart Questions: Learn to Ask the Right Questions for Powerful Results—Gerald Nadler and William Chandon • The Art of Asking: Ask Better Questions, Get Better Answers —Terry Fadem • How to Ask Great Questions—Karen Lee-Thorp • Change Your Questions, Change Your Life—Marilee Adams • Asking the Right Questions: A Guide to Critical Thinking—Neil Browne and Stuart Keeley

17. “Thank you” lingers on: 10 years

18. 3M exec retires. At going away party, someone comes up to him, very emotional, to thank the exec for a thank you note he’d sent 10 years ago. (I’ve got a ton of similar stories.)

19. *appreciation is of the utmost … strategic importance!*appreciation is a proper … core value! *appreciation is … trainable!*appreciation is a … profession!

20. none!

21. Press Ganey Assoc:139,380 former patients from 225 hospitals:noneof THE top 15 factors determining Patient Satisfaction referred to the patient’s health outcomeP.S.directly related to StaffInteractionP.S.directly correlated with Employee SatisfactionSource: Putting Patients First, Susan Frampton, Laura Gilpin, Patrick Charmel

22. Stunning. Patient satisfaction is almost exclusively related to the quality of interactions with hospital staff—which in turn is primarily caused by the quality of staffers’ interactions with one another.

23. “There is a misconception that supportive interactions require more staff or more time and are therefore more costly. Although labor costs are a substantial part of any hospital budget, the interactions themselves add nothing to the budget. Kindness is free. Listening to patients or answering their questions costs nothing. It can be argued that negative interactions—alienating patients, being non-responsive to their needs or limiting their sense of control—can be very costly. … Angry, frustrated or frightened patients may be combative, withdrawn and less cooperative—requiring far more time than it would have taken to interact with them initially in a positive way.”—Putting Patients First, Susan Frampton, Laura Gilpin, Patrick Charmel

24. The “Eight Courtesies” 1. Stay in touch. 2. Invest in relationships. (Make friends. Obsess.) 3. Listen. (Respect. Learn. Student. PROFESSIONAL. Sustainable Competitive Advantage #1) 4. Ask (Engage. Inspire. Consult. React.)5. Thank (Appreciate. Acknowledge.)6. Network. 7. Apologize (Unequivocal. Rectify. Over-react. Forgive. ) 8. Practice thoughtfulness. (Kindness is free. This is … STRATEGIC.)