Second Half Learning Community

1. Second Half Learning Community October 30, 2008 San Damiano Retreat Center Danville, California

2. Opening Participating Churches Fair Oaks Baptist Church – Concord, CA Golden Hills Community Church – Brentwood, CA Hillside Covenant Church – Walnut Creek, CA Peninsula Covenant Church – Redwood City, CA Quail Lakes Baptist Church – Stockton, CA Twin Lakes Church – Santa Cruz, CA New Covenant Community Church – Fresno, CA

3. Participants • Dick & Leona Bergstrom, Second Half For Him & Converge Worldwide, Seattle, WA. • Wes & Judy Wick. YES Ministries, Santa Cruz, CA • Jim Brumme –Twin Lakes Church, Aptos, CA. • Linda Weekes – Golden Hills Community Church, Brentwood, CA • Linda Robinson - Golden Hills Community Church, Brentwood, CA • Mike & Marlene McKnelly - Golden Hills Community Church, Brentwood, CA • Rick Moe – Senior Pastor, Golden Hills Community Church, Brentwood, CA • Bill & Jean Conner - Golden Hills Community Church, Brentwood, CA • Tony & Marty Aria - Fair Oaks Baptist Church, Concord, CA • Helen Berggren - Fair Oaks Baptist Church, Concord, CA • Steve McCoy – Fair Oaks Baptist Church, Concord, CA • Floyd & Eldora Zielke – New Covenant Community Church, Fresno, CA. • Alan Forsman - Pacific Southwest Conference of the Evangelical Covenant Church • Fred & Kathy Jantz – NorCal Regional Minister, Northern American Baptist Conf., Stockton, CA • Wayne Bibelheimer - Associate Pastor, Quail Lakes Baptist Church, Stockton, CA • Don Wilcox – Leadership Network Encore Generation Director, Louisville, CO • Larry Nunan - Peninsula Covenant Church, Redwood City, CA • Ken & Eunice Olson - Peninsula Covenant Church, Redwood City, CA • Keith Young – Leadership Network & Metro CareLink Ministry, Elk Grove, CA • Don & Rae Reed – Executive Minister, Converge PacWest, Tracy, CA • Grant Morgan – Cypress Avenue Baptist Church, Carmichael, CA • Roger & Edna Erickson – Fair Oaks Baptist Church, Concord, CA, Fair Oaks in Concord. • Jenny Trees – Director of Spiritual Development, Hillside Covenant Church, Walnut Creek, CA • Laura Roy - Pastor of Community Life, Hillside Covenant Church, Walnut Creek, CA

4. Devotion Dr. Don Reed Executive Minister Converge Pac West (Baptist General Conference)

5. Devotion Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Typically that is interpreted to mean that you have to figure out the way for each child. But I want to look at it from a different angle….”When they are old they will not depart from it.” It introduces for us what we are going to talk about today. When they are old they will not depart from it. This brings up the issue of generations. Builders versus Boomers. There are tensions in ministry to older adults. One of the tensions is that when we get old, it is hard to depart from it. Builders want hymns and gospel songs. Boomers grew up on Rock and Roll. It comes up in how we learn. I am a Builder and I learn by reading. Boomers grew up with TV and have a visual style of learning. I work with churches and am very interested in how people handle this generational thing. Levi is in one of your churches. A worship pastor was recruited to lead worship in a certain church. He led the services which were very contemporary. He met a white- haired man after the service that said “I hope you become our worship pastor.” “Do you like the music?”, asked my the worship leader. “No,” said Levi, “but our church used to be 800, now we are 300 because our generation insisted on having our music.” Eph 6:2 “Honor your father and mother.” I wasn’t going to extend this to the Christian family. This is the first commandment with promise. What I observe is that this is a commandment with a problem, not a promise. This goes beyond the Boomer Generation. I preached at a church that has gone from 275 to 600. But a large part of their growth has been their traditional church at 11:00 a.m. This church is oversubscribed $40k right now due to the giving of this group. This generation is more financially solvent and can fund the ministry.

6. Devotion Luke 5:37 “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the new wine will burst the skins and it will spill out, and the skins will be ruined” We are all vessels. There have been things poured into us all our lives. When we get to a certain point, some rigidity sets in. Howard Hendricks used to call it “hardening of the categories.” Jesus said there is only so much stretch in an older vessel and if we are not careful we are going to break it. I have talked to enough older adults and I hear the brokenness. Gordon MacDonald wrote the book, “Who Stole My Church,” about older adults who feel a sense of loss in the church today. It tells how to help them through it. They feel very torn. One of our churches had an influx of senior adults who were told, “you’re not going to like where we are going, please leave.” Ephesians 2:10 “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, so that we would walk in them.” How many of you have heard a phrase like this, “Well I guess God still has something for me to do because I am still here”? What they don’t say is that they have no idea what it is. God, help me to do the good works you have prepared for me to do today. When Jesus said, “It is finished,” he had his work done. We have people who are very lost. Some of that is self-imposed with statements like, “I’ve done my time in the church, I’m going to leave it to someone else.” In the center there will be a circle or two. Imagine if you will, lines going from corner to corner, and going through the circle. (See visuals). Axis of lines going through the middle. We are being pulled in each of these directions. 1) Preferences (upper left): I want it my way. 2) God’s purposes: (Lower right) 3) Respect (upper right) 4) Reject (lower left):. The circle moves along these axis depending on where we are in our ministry. APPLICATION: Draw a circle based on where you think your church is.

7. Overview of the Day • This is not a conference to hear from the experts. It is a gathering of leaders who are invited here to think together about what is ahead for mature adults and effective ministry in churches. • Our learning community is patterned after what we have learned in the last two years of the Encore Generation Learning Community with Leadership Network. We are indebted to them for their models and style of learning. • Why are you here and what do you hope to get out of the day? • How to work with seniors without popping out of skin. (wineskins) • Now have space in church and could handle group, but barrier – how do we get younger people to come. There is a wall. How do we break down. • People in 70’s and 80’s who don’t think they are seniors. • Came to find a way to get more people to come to senior retreat. “Not seniors yet.” • Get Boomers incorporated into PLUS ministry. They think they are too young. • Senior Communities in area. How do we reach older adults who don’t go to church. What is outreach strategy? • We’re oversensitive. Feelings easily hurt. • Common theme: Don’t want to go there….. ie man on gurney not wanting to go into the “acute care for the elderly.” • Outline of where we are going today: Look at Four Realities: What was, what is, what could be and what will be.

8. Timeline Exercise Using the framework of the Four Realities, presented by Dick Bergstrom, Alan Forsman led the group in a look at what was, what is and what could be. The participants were divided into three groups and assigned to describe the state of Older Adult Ministry in three different time frames: • 10 years ago • Now • 10 years from now

9. Ten Years Ago

10. Today

11. Ten Years From Now

12. Church Models Purpose: to learn from each other what is currently taking place in Older Adult Ministry. Facilitator: Don Wilcox Assignment: Break into church groups and diagram your current church model for Older Adult Ministry. Include: • What’s Working? • What’s Stuck? • Biggest Surprise • Biggest Learning

13. Seniors program since 1985. Model: Thursday morning group. Concludes with lunch that is popular. Challenge: • Getting older. • Cannot move the tables. • Move from Sept-June (?). No activities through summer. • Women’s Bible study but nothing for men. • Care for each other. • Body life. • Periodic trips (rescue mission). • No separate SS class. • Try to incorporate into other ministries, worship. • Bible Study every Thursday.

14. Annual Outreach • Sign in sheets • Making more focused on service • Actual events • Senior Adult Legacy Team (SALT). Recognize people who are a living legacy Stuck: • SALT is branded by those who are not seniors (don’t want to join anything that has ‘senior’ on it.) Corral: Boomers won’t come anywhere near it • CASA event – Michael Kinsman’s model, book from Portland Model: • Senior Adult Commission has different aspects to it • Trips every month • Education, seminars • Choir • Handyman service

15. 3,500 people at GHCC. • Has more resources. • Church service – many not involved. • SS Class is the hub of the ministry. Lots of things come out of it. • Church not a Sunday School class church – mainly small groups. • Seniors were in a small group in addition to church, serving. • Socials, trips, Sunday School class, trip to Israel, blog/website, missions, ROMEO (retired old men eating out). JULIET (Just us ladies interested in eating too). STUCK: • Outreach: not intergenerational. • Communication. Lots of seniors not computer literate. • Missions emphasis working. • Seniors single program. Many seniors are single and lonely. Active seniors single ministry.

16. MODEL: • In transition from being inward focused to being externally focused. • 40% over 50. • Sunday Bible Classes. Younger generations don’t relate to “SS.” • Spotlight periodically printed 5X a year. Feature someone 50+ that ‘s been proven in ministry over the years. Sent out to people. Focusing in on people excited about what they are doing. • KEY: leadership team. Getting people proven in ministry. 4 areas: service spiritual growth, fun, fellowship … and evangelism. Mentoring program. Visitation in veterans hospitals. • Community outreach. 250 people on a weekend. Beautify the whole school. Basket for all the teachers. SURPRISES: boomers just don’t want anything to do with PLUS ministry (at age 50). Concentrating on bridging the gap between 45 and 55. STUCK: Ministry has been internal. Want it to be external. Reaching out as Salt in the world. Project Read – go into public library and teach Hispanic people to read. Homeless outreach 2X weekly. LEARNINGS: Externally focused, Some of our people just over 50 who are involved. Annual celebration every year with a speaker. Focus on special ministries on what God has done throughout the year.

17. MODEL: I Thess 5:14 WORKING: • Change the name: midlife plus. YES: Young Enough to Serve. • Sharefest: all churches work together – 15 churches/20 projects in community. • Job Fair. Collaborating with other service networks. • Special events. Visiting shut ins. End of life seminars. STUCK: • Recognition of needs of working with older adults – the urgency of this ministry. • Ageism: in the church – within the church, or what adults do to themselves. More long term relationships. Not happening. Age segregation/church-wide segmentation of groups. SURPRISE: • Intergenerational influence • College students want to work with mid-life/plus adults. LEARNINGS: • Needs to be more in-depth on long term relationships. • Events vertically oriented. • Community lacking. Events don’t achieve that. Sense of long term relationships not happening • Retirement does not mean free time. Not necessarily available to serve.

18. On staff, but with new roles. Community Life and Spiritual Formation – new roles in the church. Starting from scratch. WORKING: • Still called seniors ministry. • Programs provided to seniors. Monthly lunch. Senior trips quarterly. Annual banquet w/100 people. Staff puts it on. STUCK: • Need for leadership. Lack of a team. Huge challenge. • Being designated in an age bracket. Have been run with a lack of pastoral oversight so have operated out of the mainstream. • Small groups closed. Demographic works differently in a small group. Seniors more closed. Not as willing to share and be open. Take ownership for what they have done. Fear of vulnerability. • Increase in mobility and travel = less time available. Ongoing commitments a challenge. • Expect to be served. Opportunity within small groups for service – connects on a fellowship basis as well as serving.

19. 20 year-old church. Always has been restricted on activities re facilities. Now ahead on facilities. Great staff. 6 associate pastors. Not a specific pastor to senior adults. Seniors class (new). Had a large group to start but have actually declined. 50+ Summit. Seniors class but nothing in adult program between college and age 50+. People are there, but not coming. Problem with seniors program. Not attractive to seniors. Men’s group are all seniors. Not growing. Have declined. No leadership group with our seniors. Organized by two men teaching it. BIGGEST SURPRISE: • Lack of interest. Lots of seniors but not interested in coming to seniors group. • No programs for adults. • Inflexibility. • No outreach. Nobody doing it. How do we reach people? SORRY! No image of their model available

20. Lunch

21. Readings Facilitator: Leona Bergstrom Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges • How do we manage transitions? • The Church is currently in a time of transition time as a church. • Our older groups are dying off. • Losing a generation, but we don’t understand the next generation. • William Bridges: “feeling like Linus when his blanket is in the dryer.” • Silent Generation gets ignored. • In early retirement. • 78 million boomers coming forth. • Who are the boomers? What do they think? Be aware of our environment.

22. Group #1CROSS GENERATIONAL CONNECTIONS AND PURPOSES • Generations are segregated. • Regret of family disconnect. • Christian community played more of a role than their own family. What did you learn? • Boomers have different preferences. • Personal relationships are essential for growth. • Their values came from community more than family. • Better understanding of generational mind set. • Boomers. Its never about me! • Education. • Only God’s Sovereign design can change it.

23. Group #2SPIRITUALITY IN THE BOOMER GENERATION • The search for spirituality. Not religious, but spiritual. Catholic retreat centers. Feel? • Heartbreak • Pain • Sadness • Demonic influence? • Anger, compassion. Learn: • Confusion • Seekers of truth or “me” seekers. • Spoiled generation. • Don’t want traditional. • Don’t’ want it to look like my mother. • Eclectic. Seeking love and relationships. What is it. World is there for me. Ministe more effecively • Caring loving accepting relationship. • Listen more. • Pray. • Relationship w/Jesus. • Adopt the message. SORRY! No image of their report available

24. Group #3WORK AND MEANING • Legacy: how do we pass it on. • We have to be in relationship with other generations. • Want to continue to give back. Build on the positive . • Value being in leadership in the community. • Want meaning more than just materialism. • Want their career to be more than a paycheck. • They want to be connected to where there money is going. • Provide opportunities to be involved in meaningful activities.

25. Group #4TECHNO-BOOM • Computers and technology have been a part of Boomer’s lifestyle for much of their lives. • From no internet to everything. • Article about technical advances in the Boomer generation. Boomer age. • Lot of people not computer literate who are above 70 years old. • Difficult to relate to seniors in the area of technology. • Instant communication. • Higher expectations of quality and technology in the boomer generation.

26. Group #5PSYCHOLOGY OF AFFLUENCE • Post WW II Baby Boom – affluence took off. • Great depression 46% homeowners. Decade later … boomers grew up with affluence. • Spot on: very self absorbed. felt stereotypical. Doesn’t fit everyone. Learned: • life and schedule revolves around them. • Used to having it our way. • Long term commitments in church don’t fit into our way of life. • Serving if it makes me feel better. • Involve them in short term things. • Accustomed to independence and options. • Don’t think much beyond themselves. How does it help you minister more effectively. • More opportunities for people to get involved. • Give low commitment probes: go for short term experience. • Call them to a higher purpose. Offer meaningful opportunities.

27. Group #6MUSIC James Taylor, “Fire and Reign.” James Taylor is back with a #1 “album.” (CD). Feelings: • Frustration • Reminiscing • Sadness • Hopefulness Learnings about the Boomer Generation: • Turmoil • Medicated their problems • Raised issues of social justice • Many avoided personal responsibility • Perseverance. Understanding that promotes ministry. • Serving could be a platform • Recovery ministries – could be an entry point for people. • Capitalize on significance of relationships • Redirect to generativity vs. self-absorption. • Paul Tournier: Learning to Grow Old. God has created us to be creative. .

28. Group #7PURPOSE AND POWER IN RETIREMENT Emotions/feelings. • Hope they can handle what’s coming. • When too “me” centered, there is no purpose to pursue • The big shot in job may become nobody in retirement This generation • Can be selfish • Looking for instant gratification • Driven by and/or captive to materialism Understanding to help us minister more effectively • Learning to give to others can release us from materialism.

29. What Will BeBuilding A Model For Boomer Ministry Facilitator: Dick Bergstrom In light of the readings, what would an effective ministry to Boomers look like? Ah-hah moments: • We are asking the wrong question. It does not work to ask “how do we get younger people into current groups?” • Is it even the right question to ask how to start a ministry to Boomers? Do they even want a group, or is inter-generational, cross-generational ministry our goal?

30. Boomer Ministry Models FAIR OAKS BAPTIST CHURCH • Need to have Boomers design ministry to boomers. • Seniors need to develop new ways to reach their generation • Develop intergenerational outreach. • Prayer is key part • Hospital and visitation • Shut-in Visitation – serving; getting out of selves and giving GOLDEN HILLS COMMUNITY CHURCH • Relationships: develop friends. I go because my friends are there. • Purpose oriented – not just something to attend; must have meaning • Ownership – I have some part in it, designing or doing • Technologically savvy • Entertainment quality. Our ministries should have quality (expect quality in TV and entertainment) • Not circular conversations; complaining about style or health issues • Service oriented – want to serve in what we are doing • Equip people on how to serve • Provide opportunities • Principles – not necessarily programs. But have these qualities

31. Boomer Ministry Models HILLSIDE COVENANT CHURCH • Boomers are integrated in church. How do we provide for them in this juncture of their lives? • Educational programs: Navigating retirement; decisions; grandparenting classes; • Boomers want marriage renewal; celebrate • Track demographics – what are boomers already doing? Encourage to get more involved in areas of service. They are already in service. • Develop spiritually. Engage in small groups, growing to serve • PENINSULA COVENANT CURCH • Need to think about ministry specifically for Boomers. • In 20 years or less, the people in current ministry will be with Lord or in a home… • Want to see current Boomers make up new PLUS ministry. • New ministry for 45-55 year olds. • Church is primarily older persons and boomers in denial. It is warranted. • This has been good for us because it makes us look at the next generation. • SEVERAL CHURCHES GROUP • Dream team that plans • Validate and disperse those among us. May not need another layer of ministry • Occasionally have Boomer events – acknowledge they are a common group • Combination of 2 and 3.

32. Wrap Up and Closing Common themes: • We came into the room asking how to get people into senior adult ministry; it’s been vital but we have lost many…How do we get the next to come along. • Boomers are an entirely unique generational cohort. • Every church is unique; understand your own history, demographic and calling and design ministry that relates where you are. • We have not attempted to help you develop a strategy or plan – but it may be your next step. What will it look like in the form of a plan? Define what you will do, who will do it and setting deadlines.