Beyond the Extra Long Sheets: A Packing List for College

1. Beyond the Extra Long Sheets:A Packing List for College Cindy Turner, MA, NCC The Davidson Center

2. Most college freshmen have the same goals: • Go to a good college • Have a great time • Get a great education • Earn a degree • Find a job you love However… • Only TWO in THREE college freshmen will continue on in the same college for their sophomore year. • Only about HALF of all students who start college ever earn a degree. How can you beat the odds and succeed?

3. PACK WHAT YOU NEED!(No, you can’t find it all at Bed, Bath, and Beyond) • Realistic expectations • Good attitude • Patience • Open mind • Reminders of home • Off buttons • Ability to manage your time • Commitment to your health and safety • Understanding of your family’s big change

4. Pack Realistic Expectations • Shiny, happy people • “Best time of your life” • Dorm room blues • Roommate = best friend, or not • Orientation daze • Parents can help by not idealizing college

5. Pack the Right Attitude • Make a commitment to succeed, and make academic success at this college your top priority. • Use all resources available to you (advisor, tutoring, writing center, resident advisor, upperclassmen) • Meet with professors often • Stay on top of your grades • Go to class! • Plan to study more in college than you ever have before • Don’t wait for college to get exciting. Make it happen! • Remember who you are.

6. Pack your Patience • Give yourself time to adjust to your new environment. Emotions usually run high! • Give yourself time to get to know people. • Give yourself time to adjust academically. Don’t let one difficult professor or one bad grade throw you off. • Be patient with others (especially your roommate) • Make roommate rules in the first few days. • Expect a lack of privacy. • Relax about majors and classes. • Remember that you have a lot of learning and growing to do, and it will take time. • Remember the snow globe.

7. Pack an Open Mind • Anticipate different lifestyles. • Make friends with different kinds of people. • Keep your door open when you’re hanging out in your dorm room. You never know who you’ll meet! • View differences as opportunities to learn. • Try new food. • Try new clubs, sports, or other activities. • Travel off campus and get to know your community. • Expect college to be nothing like you expected, and you won’t be disappointed!

8. Pack Reminders of Home(but just a few) • Leaving everything you know is hard! • Expect to feel homesick, especially after the newness wears off. • Bring photos of home, family, friends, and pets for your dorm room. • Don’t overdo it, and avoid to urge to rush home all the time. • Remember that the cure to homesickness is not at home. It’s learning how to make a new home.

9. Pack your OFF Buttons • Technology can be a great way to stay connected. • If used too much, it can also keep you from connecting with new people. • Limit your time on Facebook, cell phone, emails, video games, etc. • Dangers include worsening homesickness, comparing your college experience with others, not getting to know professors, and missing out on great new friendships. • Biggest danger is relying too much on parents. • Don’t let yourself be physically at college, but mentally at home.

10. Pack your Balancing Act • Also known as “time management skills,” balancing is a key factor to college success. • It’s all up to you now. Are you ready? • Keep a calendar. • Know where your time is going. • Schedule your study time and place. • Learn to say “no.” • Don’t forget to sleep.

11. Pack a Commitment to your Health and Safety • Nutrition: all-you-can-eat, making good choices, not skipping meals, the “Freshman Fifteen,” eating disorders • Exercise: great facilities, take walks • Sleep: late bedtime, catch naps • Emotional Health: depression, counseling center, resident advisor • Personal Safety: walking at night, personal belongings, locking door • Drugs, Alcohol, and Sex: other dangers that are readily available in college, make decisions ahead of time

12. Pack an Understanding of Your Family’s Big Change • They are adjusting, too. Give them time. • Emotions will be high for all of you. • Talk about your feelings before you go. • Talk about orientation/departure expectations. • Pay attention to younger siblings during this adjustment. • Set clear expectations of communication, finances, social life, and academics. • Don’t run to your parents with every problem. Don’t expect them to solve your problems.

13. A few other reminders • Make sure you know how to do your laundry! • Have a very clear understanding of your budget and cash flow before you leave. • Pack shower shoes, and never go to the hall bathroom without them. • Write your parents an actual, physical card/letter every now and then. They will melt.

14. A Word to Parents • Read Letting Go. It will help you feel as prepared as you can be. • Talk to other parents. • Occasionally send your child something in the mail. • Expect your child to be inconsistent (pushing/pulling). • Set clear expectations. • Resist the temptation to solve problems/make decisions for your child. Help them learn to do it themselves, and be aware of campus resources to direct them toward. • Limit communication. • Remember the snow globe. Things will settle down. • Take care of yourself and seek help if you need it.

15. Recommended Readings • Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years, by Coburn and Treeger • The Naked Roommate and 107 Other Issues You Might Run into In College, by Harlen Cohen