Effective Business Letter Writing | Key Elements for Professional Correspondence

1. Unit 1 Presentation & Layout Of Business Letters

2. A letter is like a visit on paper. UP-TO-DATE CORRESPONDENCE FOR IMPORT & EXPORT

3. All the elements of business letter style come together to produce a reflection on paper not only of the writer’s ability and knowledge …… but also of an organization’s total image. from Merriam-Webster’s Guide to Business Correspondence

4. Warm-up 私人信 • Private • Confidential • Registered • Express • Ordinary Mail • Immediate (Urgent) • Printed Matter 机密信 挂号信 快递邮件 平信 急件 印刷品

5. Functions of Business Writing • To inform • To influence • To entertain

6. Writing Principles --- 7 “C”s Courtesy 礼貌 • Dear Sirs, we are sorry you have misunderstood us. • Dears Sirs, we are sorry we didn’t make ourselves clear. • We cannot understand why you have had trouble with these articles. • We presume that there must be some reasons for you having trouble with these articles. (×) (√) (×) (√)

7. Suggested Language Styles • Change the commanding tone into requesting tone; • Use the past subjunctive form; • Avoid over-emphasizing your own opinion or irritating your partner; • Passive voice should be adopted accordingly; • Avoid using the words with forcing tone or arousing unpleasantness; • Use expressions about joy and willingness, thanks and regret, etc.

8. Correctness 正确 (×) • Enclosed is the copy of receipt. • Enclosed is a copy of the receipt. • I am looking for another sales channels. • I am looking for other sales channels. (√) (×) (√)

9. Conciseness 简洁 • We do not anticipate any increase in prices in the near future. • We do not expect prices to rise soon. • Owing to the fact that your competitor’s price is much lower than yours, we cannot accept your offer. • Because your competitor’s price is much lower than yours, we cannot accept your offer. (Poor) (Better) (Poor) (Better)

10. Rewrite: • We wish to take this opportunity to thank you for your sincere cooperation. • Thank you for your sincere cooperation. • Will you please send us a reply during the month of March, or even before March 4, if you are rushed, for that would suit us just as well, for which a stamped envelope is enclosed. • Will you please send us a reply in the enclosed envelop before March 4? • We require a full-automatic washing machine which is of the new type. • We require a new-type full-automatic washing machine.

11. Clarity 清楚 • They have a decided advantage in regard to freight. • They have a decided advantage in regard to freight charges. • They informed Messrs. Smith and Richardson that they would receive an answer in a few days. • They informed Messrs. Smith and Richardson that the latter would receive an answer in a few days. (Poor) (Better) (Poor) (Better)

12. Suggested Language Styles • Try to use the unambiguous words; • Try to use the concise and accessible expressions; • Pay attention to the position of modifier; • Pay attention to the object of the pronoun and the relations between the relative pronoun and the antecedent.

13. Example As to the steamers sailing from Hong Kong to San Francisco, we have bimonthly direct services. 此处bimonthly有歧义： • twice a month • once two months Change into：1.We have two direct sailings every month from Hong Kong to San Francisco.  2.We have semimonthly direct sailing from Hong Kong to San Francisco. 3.We have a direct sailing from HK to SF every two months.

14. Concreteness 具体 • This copier saves you both money and time. • HD845 Copier makes 50 copies a minute at a cost of one fen a copy. • We are interested in your vehicle. • We are interested in your ZF100 Future Fighter motorcycle. • Smithton Company is our big buyer. • Smithton Company did more than one million USD worth of business with us in 2012. general specific abstract concrete abstract concrete

15. Completeness 完整 • Suppose you are writing a letter to your supplier telling him that his goods were not delivered on time. What kind of information should you include in your letter?

16. Reference • Reminding him of his promise of timely delivery. • What losses have this caused you? • Asking for compensation if there is any agreement on that. • Expecting no such thing will happen again.

17. Consideration 体谅 • We allow 2.5% discount for cash payment. • You can earn 2.5% discount when you pay cash. • As the fiscal year is coming to an end, would you please pay your overdue bill now? • In order to maintain your excellent credit reputation, please remit $2000. • Will you please fill in the questionnaire as soon as possible? • Your prompt return of the questionnaire will certainly help us to serve your needs better.

18. Some features in modern business writing: • Conversational style • Avoiding old language of business • You-viewpoint • Positive language

19. Conversational Style 我们在撰写正式的商务英语写作时，应尽量使用正规的语言；而当起草非正式的商务便条、商务便函及商务书信时，可使用较通俗的口语。请比较下面两组例词：

20. Avoiding Old Language of Business • We should be obliged if you could contact our Mrs Xiao at an early date. • Please contact Mrs Xiao soon. • We beg to inform you that we are herewith canceling our order for the same. • I am afraid we are canceling our order for the above goods. • Assuring you of our best attention at all times, and awaiting the favour of your early response. • I look forward to hearing from you soon.

21. Avoiding Old Language of Business E.g. Outdated expressions: • in the near future • it has come to my attention • at your earliest possible convenience • don’t hesitate • take the liberty to • due to the fact that • thanking you in advance • enclosed herein / attached hereto • with kindest regards ……

22. We are in need of fund and you must pay… We can not offer you any refund… Obviously you forget telling us the color… To maintain your excellent credit, please remit… You could obtain a refund if… Please indicate your choice of color… Different AttitudesWe/I attitude You attitude

23. I am in receipt of your order for 250 pairs of Nike ‘Conga’ sports shoes. You failed to send your order to us before the new prices were introduced. We cannot devote much time to your visit as the March Sales figures are being compiled and we are very busy. Thank you for your recent order for 250 pairs of Nike ‘Conga’ sports shoes. Unfortunately, we did not receive your order before the new prices were introduced. We shall devote as much time to your visit as our hectic schedule will permit. Positive Language

24. Sample Analysis • Dear Sir: • Thank you for sending so promptly the trade and bank references we have asked for. I am glad to say that your order has already been shipped on the terms you requested. • We hope you will give us the chance to serve you again. • Very truly yours, • Dear Sir: • We wish to acknowledge receipt of your credit application dated Fabruary 17 giving trade and bank references, and we thank you for the same. Please be advised that credit accommodations are herewith extended as per your request and your order has been shipped. • Hoping you will give us the opportunity of serving you again in near future, we remain. • Very truly yours,

25. Sample Analysis • We have received your request for permission to use our computers during the next session for summer school. We are pleased to inform you that you may use all 15 of the laptop computers you requested. Would you please come in and fill out the necessary paperwork any time before April? • Good news, Jessica! All 15 of the laptop computers you requested will be available to use during the next session of summer school. Please come by the opfice before April 1 to fill out the necessary forms.

26. Sample Analysis • Group 2 • We can deliver the goods on July 11. • So that you may have the sofa you want, will you please check your choice of fabric on the enclosed card? • Your check will be mailed on Oct. 1. • Please format this letter in the block style shown in the Office Procedure Manual. • Group 1 • We cannot understand your negligence. • We will not tolerate this condition. • Your careless attitude has caused us a loss in sales. • We have no intention of permitting this condition to continue. • We have had it!

27. Letter Structures and Placement • Letterhead（信头） • Date line（日期） • Inside Address（信内地址） • Attention Line（指明收信人） • Salutation（称呼） • Subject Line（事由） • Body（正文） • Complimentary Close（结尾敬词） • Signature（签名） • Identifying/Reference Initials（打字员姓名缩写） • Enclosure（附件） • Copy Notation（抄送）

28. TECHNICAL 1606 Fifth Avenue ESICNS, Seattle WA 99454- NC. 201626-3150 July 30, 2005 Pacific Resources, Inc. 1160 Bishop Street Honolulu, HI99813 Attention Ms. Alicia Chavez, Ladies and Gentlemen SUBJECT: OFFICE LETTER STYLE Letterhead Date Inside Address Attention line Salutation Subject Line

29. Our office prefers the block letter style, as shown in this letter… Sincerely yours TECHNICAL DESIGNS, INC. Eric Mann Eric Mann, Consultant Community Services Department EM: mef Enc. Intra-company stationery and memorandum forms CC: Ms. Laura Shulte Mr. Andrew Farmer Body Complimentary Close Organization Name Signature Author Title Department Reference Initials Enclosure Copy Notation

30. Letterhead • Company Name (indispensable) • Logo (optional) • Address (indispensable) • Executives’ Names (optional) • Icon (optional) • Business Type (optional) • Registered Number (optional) • References (optional) • Date (optional)

31. A Letterhead in Black UP-TO-DATE CORRESPONDENCE FOR IMPORT & EXPORT

32. A Letterhead in Blue UP-TO-DATE CORRESPONDENCE FOR IMPORT & EXPORT

33. A Letterhead in Grey UP-TO-DATE CORRESPONDENCE FOR IMPORT & EXPORT

35. 名称、地址 A UK address: Air Environmental Mechanical Equipment Limited 2076 West Main Street Devon, EX14 0RA U.K. 公司名称 街道 门牌号 邮编 城市 国家

36. 中文名称、地址举例 三峡大学外国语学院 中国湖北省宜昌市大学路8号 单位名称 地址由大到小

37. 中国地址名称用英文写 Sinochem Jiangsu Import and Export Corporation Jiangsu International Business Mansion, 50 Zhonghua Road, Nanjing 210001, P.R. China 中国江苏化工进出口总公司 单位名称 大楼名称 街道 门牌号 城市 国家 邮编

38. Date • American format • British format

39. 美式日期举例 日期

40. 英式日期举例 日期

41. 写日期时务必注意以下各点： （1）年份必须用阿拉伯数字写全，不能用02代替2002。 （2）月份要用英文拼写，可全拼也可采用标准的简写。May, June, July不能简写。 （3）日期可用基数词(cardinal numbers)也可用序数词(ordinal numbers)。 （4）在年份前面必须用逗号隔开，但在月份和日期之间不能用逗号隔开。 May 20, 2013 （5）写信日期（Date）不能全部用数字表示，如 5/4/2013，这样写容易引起误解。

42. Inside Address • It is the address of the organization receiving the letter. Oregon Institute of Legal Studies 18002 South Molalia Avenue Oregon City, OR 97045

43. Elements in Inside Address 1) Recipient’s Full Name (if known) 2) Recipient’s Business Title (if known) 3) Company Name (indispensable) 4) House/Building Name (if any) 5) Building Number, Street Name, (indispensable) Suite/Room Number (if any) 6) Town/City & Zip Code (indispensable) 7) Country/Region (indispensable)

44. 写给ABC公司销售经理Edward Lee先生，公司地址为纽约市公园大道350号，纽约邮编为10017 Mr. Edward Lee Sales Manager ABC Company 350 Park Avenue New York, NY 10017 U.S.A

45. Arrange the following information into letterhead or inside address: • U.S.A. / Ford Motor Company / Dearborn,Michigan 48120 / PR Department / 13350 Rotunda Drive • China / Beijing 100021 / Beijing Metal / President / Lin Fang / East Lane / 234

46. Attention Line • 如需注明对方经办人，希望收信商号将信迅速交经办人办理，可以在封内地址下面加Attention或Attention of。 P & G Company 24 Madison Avenue，Columbus U.S.A. Attention Mr.Cave

47. Example • ATTENTION: MR. LAWRENCE WAGNER, EXPORT MANAGER • ATTENTION INTERNATIONAL DEPARTMENT • Attention ---- Mr. Lawrence Wagner, Regional Vice President • Attention of Marketing Manager • For the attention of Marketing Manager • Attention Mr. Lawrence Wagner

48. Salutation • Dear Sir / Dear Sirs / Gentlemen / Ladies: (to the unknown and very formal) • Dear Mr. / Mrs. / Miss / Ms. Johnson: (only surname, semi formal) • Dear Messrs / Mmes. Johnson: (2 or more men/women with the same surname) • Dear Dr. Woods: (professional title used) • Dear Customer: (to a group of the same status) • Dear Purchasing Agent: (the unknown’s professional title) • Dear Kim: (first name, very informal)

49. Subject Line P & G Company 24 Madison Avenue,Columbus U.S.A. Attention Mr.Cave Dear sir: SUBJECT: LAYING OFF PLAN

50. Subject Line • Underlined:Sale Contract no.234 • Capitalized: SALE CONTRACT NO. 234 • Re: Late Delivery of Order 123 • Subject: Order No. 1232 for Tea-sets