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Families We Choose New Possibilities and Old Problems

Families We Choose New Possibilities and Old Problems. Brian Heaphy The Morgan Centre for Research into Relationships and Personal Life, University of Manchester. Identity AIDS Parenting Civil Partnership. Mobility ‘chosen family’ Friendship families who care

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Families We Choose New Possibilities and Old Problems

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  1. Families We ChooseNew Possibilities and Old Problems BrianHeaphy The Morgan Centre for Research into Relationships and Personal Life, University of Manchester

  2. Identity AIDS Parenting Civil Partnership Mobility ‘chosen family’ Friendship families who care Negotiating and renegotiating family Queering & consolidating families Queer families of choice

  3. New ways of seeing and doing family • Family Alternatives • Negotiated commitments and responsibilities • Narratives and practices • Everyday Experiments • Necessary Inventions • Ethics and ethos

  4. Narrating choice • ‘I simply fell in love with him, and our friendship developed to quite a strong level’ • ‘We’re very independent…This is where [you can’t] compare marriage with a gay relationship’ • ‘I found it very difficult to [go along] with expectations to be head of household’ • ‘One of the best moves we’ve ever made …[was] an open relationship, the basic rule is honesty,…through that we have met a lot of people we now regard as friends.’ • ‘I feel part of their success... is the freedom and oppeness they have’

  5. New possibilities and democratising movements • Disembedding • Individualisation • Self-Invention • Dialogical reflexivity • Radical erotic ethics • Friendship ethos • Transforming habitus

  6. Narrating the allure and limits choice • ‘I don’t know how long I can maintain the façade’ • ‘There seems to be resentment amongst younger people that older people should want to take part’ • ‘In a big city, you can be more anonymous and the social acceptance of lifestyles is much broader… here there’s still this respectability thing’ • ‘[I need] to be set frees from family expectations or prejudices…by either me mum will die or I can leave her.. but to break out of that can be difficult’ • ‘I need an ordinary job…a flat were the gay thing is accepted …And I could only do that in the context of being fair about me commitments to me mum and about other commitments’

  7. The limits of choice • Resources • economic, social and cultural… corporeal and psychic • Cognitive and dialogical reflexivity • Discourse and ideologies • Allure of choice as route to personal, intimate and relational democracy and ‘freedom’ • Embedding impulses • Binding forces

  8. Possibilities and problems • Shaping choice • Locating diverse, embodied realities, and resourced possibilities • Situating narratives and practices • Flux, flow and contingency of connectedness across the life course • Family, life politics and power

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