Finding Your Why to a Meaningful Life

Finding Your Whyto a Meaningful Life Bill Johnson University of North Carolina- Greensboro 2013 On Course National Conference

Agenda • Why “Find Your Why?” • Kick-Ass Questions • Living Statement Exercises • Value Words • Life Motto • Impact Others • Mission Statement • Vision Statement

Course Principles… • “Make College Matter” (SAVRA) • My “Story” – Who am I? How did I get here? • My “Art” – What am I here to do? Who am I here to help? • My “Vision” – Where do I want to go? What will I do? • My “Resiliency” – What holds me back? How do I overcome obstacles? • My “Allies” – Who can I get to help and support me – and who can I help and support?

Thoughts for the day… • Do you feel inspired getting out of bed every day? • Do you create something more significant than the the services you provide? • Do you care more about doing the job right or just getting the job done? • Are you on a trajectory to be better tomorrow than you are today? Do you feel the same about your unit, department, or the college in general? • Do you live your life based on a greater purpose – professionally and/or personally?

Why “Find Your Why?” • About 80% of college students not sure what they want to major in – even those in declared majors. (http://dus.psu.edu/md/mdintro.htm) • Over 75% of college students want help finding their purpose. (http://spirituality.ucla.edu/docs/reports/Spiritual_Life_College_Students_Exec_Summary.pdf) • Between 50% and 60% of college students change their major at least once. (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/04/education/edlife/choosing-one-college-major-out-of-hundreds.html?_r=0) • About 40% of college students around country graduate from college (30% bachelors degree, 10% associates degree). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Educational_attainment_in_the_United_States) • According to Gallup, 71% of employees are either not engaged or actively disengaged at work. (http://businessjournal.gallup.com/content/247/the-high-cost-of-disengaged-employees.aspx)

Inspirational Quote “All of us are born for a reason, but all of us don’t discover why. Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It’s what you do for others.” Danny Thomas, founder, St. Jude’s Hospital

Things to consider… • As you go through these exercises, ask yourself: • Who do I want to be? • What do I want to do? • How do I want to live every day? • Who do I want to serve? • How do I want to help? • How do I make a difference?

Exercise: Kick-Ass Questions… • “Priming the Pump.” • Free Write Exercise. • Seven sets of questions. • One minute time limit for each question. • Write the first thoughts that comes to mind (usually most raw and most honest).

Question Set #1 What am I really good at doing? What comes really easy for me? What activities make me feel like I’m “in the flow?”

Question Set #2 Who do I admire most? Why? Who inspires me? Why? Who do I envy? Why?

Question Set #3 When am I my authentic self? When am I most genuine? When do I feel like the “real” me?

Question Set #4 What pisses me off about the world? What drives me crazy? What do I want to change?

Question Set #5 Who do I want to help most? Why? Who can I make the biggest impact upon? Why? Who can benefit most from my help? Why?

Question Set #6 If I were given unlimited resources, how would I choose to contribute? What could I do that would have me excited about getting out of bed every morning?

Question Set #7 How do I want to be remembered? What do I want my legacy to be? What would I want people to say about me at my funeral?

Reflection • What do you notice about your answers? • Do your answers : • Relate to the “work” you’re doing on a daily basis (organizations, volunteer work, etc.)? • Reflect how you are living your life right now on a personal level? • Reveal what you want to do and/or how you want to be in the future?

Living Statements… • Your living statements are words that can be used to guide your life. For some, it may be the words that define your actions and decisions on a daily basis. For today, you will create the following: • Life Motto • Mission Statement • Vision Statement

Characteristics of Statements… • Original. These are your words that describe you, not the words of what you think others would like to hear. • Personal. It describes how YOU really want to live your life on a daily basis. • Emotional (in a positive way). When you read it and say it, it brings a smile to your face and joy to your heart. • Purposeful. It gets you excited to get out of bed every day and compels you to do something good.

Characteristics of Statements… • Descriptive. When you say it to yourself, it really describes you. When other people hear it, they say, ‘Yep, that’s you!” • Easy to remember. Your statements should be easy to say and easy to remember. You want statements that rolls off your tongue easily. • Everlasting. Your statements could be the words that describe your legacy - may even be the words you would want written on your tombstone!

Exercise: Value Words • Four screens of “value-based” words. • 33 words per screen. • These are words that: • Are important to you. • Describes you – or others use to describe you. • Resonates with you most. • Gets you excited and inspired! • On your piece of paper, write down 3-5 words from each screen that appeal to you the most.

Value Words 1 • Abundance • Acceptance • Accomplish • Achievement • Adventure • Appreciate • Attractiveness • Authenticity • Balance • Beauty • Believe • Change • Children • Choice • Clarity • Comfort • Communication • Community • Compassion • Competition • Contentment • Counsel • Courage • Creativity • Curiosity • Discipline • Discover • Diversity • Dreams • Education • Encourage • Energy • Enthusiasm

Value Words 2 • Environment • Equality • Excellence • Excitement • Experimentation • Exploration • Facilitate • Faith • Family • Fitness • Flexibility • Forgiveness • Freedom • Friendship • Fun • Giving • Global • Goodness • Grace • Gratitude • Growth • Hard Work • Harmony • Happiness • Heal • Health • Honesty • Hope • Humility • Humor • Individuality • Influence • Innovation

Value Words 3 • Inspire • Integrity • Intelligence • Joy • Justice • Kindness • Knowledge • Leadership • Learning • Legacy • Leisure • Lightness • Longevity • Love • Loyalty • Luxury • Mastery • Motivate • Nature • Nurture • Organize • Openness • Optimistic • Originality • Partnership • Passion • Patience • Peace • Perform • Persistence • Perspective • Play • Power

Value Words 4 • Prosperity • Purity • Purpose • Quality • Reflect • Relax • Relationships • Religion • Resilience • Respect • Responsibility • Risk • Security • Self-Control • Sincerity • Speed • Spirituality • Spontaneous • Sports • Stability • Strength • Structure • Support • Teamwork • Transformation • Trust • Truth • Unity • Vision • Volunteer • Wealth • Winning • Wisdom

Value Words Choices… • If you have any words that aren’t listed in this section that you would like to include, write them down. • Once you have your list of words, narrow down your list 4-7 words that resonate with you the most. • Circle, place a check, or write down these words.

Exercise: Life Motto… • The Life Motto: • Describes – in seven words - how you want to live your life every day. • Focuses on the present and future. • Inspired by the Six Word Memoir project through Smith Magazine.

Life Motto? • Why a Life Motto? (from dictionary.com) • A motto is: (1) a maxim adopted as an expression of the guiding principles of a person, and (2) a sentence or phrase expressing the spirit or purpose of a person. • Why seven words? • In numerology circles, the number “7” is seen as being spiritual, reflective, introspective, and possessing wisdom and completeness. • Goal: To write the Seven-Word Life Motto book with 777 life mottos that’s 77 pages by 7-7 (July 7th).

Your Motto… • As you review the answers to your questions and your list of words, pick out a few that stick out the most for you. • Your Seven-Word Life Motto can be: • One statement; • A series of small statements; • Seven individual words; • Or any combination of statements and/or words that work best for you. • If you aren’t sure what to write, ask for help in constructing your motto.

Bill’s Life Mottos How I live my life every day Dream Big. Live with Purpose. Inspire Others. How I serve others in my work Educating for purpose, inspiring for a lifetime.

Life Motto Examples… • Improve myself. Strive for growth. Satisfy dreams. • Never be afraid to make an impact. • Help others. Bring about change. Show success. • Clearly conscious, serving God and people faithfully. • Keep perspective. Inspire. Be joyful. Live today. • Live intentionally. Be for others. Cultivate peace. • Persevere through challenges. Achieve success. Gain wisdom. • Make each moment inspiring with life’s beauty. • Ambition should be stronger than any fear. • Play every day. Live for each moment.

Exercise: Impact Others • Three screens of individuals/groups of people you might want to help/serve. • About 25 Groups per screen. • Use this section to think about the groups you want to impact the most. • Write down 1-3 choices from each screen that appeal to you the most. Note: It’s okay if you don’t choose any groups from a particular screen.

Impact Others 1 Athletes Blind/Visual Impaired Business owners Cancer Patients Small Children College Students Communities/ Neighborhoods Creative People Deaf/Hearing Impaired Delinquents Disaster Victims Elderly/Seniors Entrepreneurs Females People with Heart Problems Gangs High School Students Homeless People Executives Farmers Middle Class Families Specific Ethnic Groups People with Speech Problems People from Other Countries Kids in Foster Care Student-Focused Organizations

Impact Others 2 Hungry Illiterate Immigrants Infants/Babies Kids in Kindergarten Kids in Elementary School Males Marriages Mentally disabled Middle Age adults Middle School Kids Minorities Orphans Physically Disabled Pregnant Adults Pregnant Teens Families (including your own) Families in Crisis Animals Environment/Nature People who want to be Healthy People looking for Partners LGBTQA(Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning, and Allied)

Impact Others 3 Preschool Kids Prisoners Teachers/Professors Managers/Executives Professional Staff People in Rural areas People who are Sick/Terminally Ill Single Moms/ Dads People with Special Diseases People with Special Needs Substance abusers Non-Profits Teen mothers Teenagers The Poor/People in Poverty Veterans/Military Volunteers Wealthy Young Adults Youth Runaways Fathers/Mothers Religious Organizations People in the Arts Laborers Support Staff

Impact Others Choices • If you have any groups that aren’t listed in this section that you would like to include, write them down. • Once you have your list of groups, choose up to 3 that you would you like help/serve the most. • Circle, place a check, or write down the 3 that resonate with you the most.

Exercise: Mission Statement • Describes how you want to help/serve others – in 43 words or less! • Your statement should encompass the following: • Who you want to help… • Why you want to help them… • When complete, write out your statement.

Mission Statement Guidelines… • Mission statement sentence starter examples: • I am here to… - I offer… • I provide… - I serve… • I help… - I will… • I work with… - I see… • I share… - I create… • I produce… - I facilitate… • Remember, you need to think about: • Who you want to help… • Why you want to help them…

Bill’s Mission Statement… I help faculty, staff, and students in higher education identify their purpose and pursue their most heartfelt dreams. Since most people seem lost, disengaged, and/or unfulfilled, I provide the tools and facilitate the trainings to help create meaningful, authentic lives. (41 words)

Mission Statement Examples… • I show others that they are not alone and to not give up on themselves so that they can accomplish great things in life. • I help others find their meaning of life and increase their self-worth through my kindness, friendship, and wisdom. • I provide continuous love and support to my family and friends so that they know that I will always be there for them.

Exercise: Vision Statement • The last exercise will have you create a vision statement. Your vision statement will have you focus on defining the “work” you’d like to do with the group you’d like to work with. • Think of it as instructions to serve a specific group of people, a problem you have been designed to solve, or a change that you are to create in the world, then to take specific action to do something about it. • You will describe what you want your future work to look like – in 77 words or less!

Vision statement guidelines… • As you create your vision statement, think about (and include): • Your answers to: • The kick-ass questions about life… • Your value words… • Your life motto… • Your impact groups… • Your agency statement… • As well as: • Whose life do you want to touch… • What you will do to help them… • How they will benefit from your help…

More guidelines… • Write your vision statement in the present tense, as if you’re already doing it. Use phrases such as “I am” and “we are” vs. “I will,” “we will,” and “I hope.” • Make sure it’s a vision for your life that YOU want to follow, not something you are doing to make someone else happy. • You may want to include specific tasks that you need to perform. • To really challenge yourself, set a deadline for when you want this vision to happen (i.e. in 5-7 years)

Bill’s Vision Statement… I am here to inspirestudents, faculty, and staff in higher education to “find your why” and “make college matter.” I offer classes and workshops that answer the questions, “What am I here to do?” and “Who am I here to serve?” I provide opportunities and resources for others to connect with their spiritual self in order to discover the meaning of their life and pursue heartfelt dreams so that they can lead purposeful, passionate lives. (76 words)

Final Thoughts • How do your living statements feel as you read them - do they inspire you? • Do they fit how you are currently living your life? • Do they seem to match where you want to go with your life in the future? • To make them more a part of your life, share your statements with others. • Put your statements in places where you can see them every day. • Begin each day with a promise to live your Life Motto, your Agency Statement, and your Mission Statement.

Inspirational Quote… “The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The meaning of life is to give your gift away.” David Viscott

Thank you for attending! Contact info Bill Johnson (William H. Johnson Jr.) Office of Life Planning and Personal Development School of Health and Human Sciences University of North Carolina at Greensboro Phone - 336-207-6795 E-mail - whjohnso@uncg.edu Blog - http://thedreamdean.wordpress.com Web Sites - http://www.uncg.edu/hhs/ssc (work)

Finding Your Why to a Meaningful Life