Etiquette

1. Etiquette

2. What is Etiquette? • It is an indefinite set of rules of good manner & behavior • Comes from an old French word meaning “ticket”. Later came to mean a prescribed routine that is passed down, especially in court behavior.

3. The Evolution of Eating Middle Ages- • Would use fingers to eat with • Reserved spoons as serving utensils only • Men brought own dagger to a meal • Used a hollowed out piece of brown bread as a bowl, called trencher • In a formal banquet, what you ate & where you sat at a table based upon your station in life

4. 11th Century- • Italian, Domenico Selvo, marries a Greek Princess who brings the practice of using forks to his court • This is considered scandalous and heretical • 1364- • Charles V of France declares that forks are only to be used for foods that might stain fingers • 1669- • King Louis XIV of France bans pointed knives, as a weapon or at the table, as a method to reduce violence • Starts the movement to a blunt tip knife

5. Mid 18th Century- • Forks achieve their modern form of being 4 pronged • 1920’s- • Stainless steel utensils are created

6. Styles of Service vs.Styles of Cutting

7. Styles of Serving • Russian Service- • Elaborate Dinners with glorious foods presented in great style • Food cut in the kitchen, reassembled to look whole, paraded around dining room & then served • Foods served in succession of each other • French Service- • All food served in beautiful serving pieces arranged on table & repeated at several intervals so that the same food was in reach for all • Origins of family and buffet styles of serving • Downfall- food gets cold

8. Styles of Cutting • Continental • Knife in right hand • Fork in left hand • Tines of fork remain down • Knife used for cutting and pushing food onto fork • American • Knife held in right hand to cut • Place knife down and put fork in right hand to bring food to mouth • Tines of fork are up • Americans only people to eat this way

9. A Modern Look at Etiquette…

10. The Basics • Good Manners come from the inside and do not change • Etiquette Rules come from the outside & are always changing • Knowing the ”rules” is essential because it puts you in the position of knowing when it’s appropriate to bend them. • A persons feelings are always more important than strictly adhering to the rules

11. “Public” Etiquette

12. 1st Impressions Clothing • No such thing as neutral clothing • Everything you put on communicates something, your image is either working for or against you Introductions • Proper distance for speaking is 18” inches • If someone mispronounces your name don’t make a big deal about it • Keep all personal belongings off the table Shaking Hands • 1..2..3.. Release (you are not pumping gas) • Hold your drink in left hand to avoid giving someone a cold & wet handshake

13. The proper shake ... • > Involves eye contact • Is firm but painless • Lasts about three seconds • Takes only two or three pumps • Starts and stops crisply • Doesn't continue through the entire introduction • Begin with your fingers together and your thumb up. • Shake hands web to web, with a firm but not crush­ing grip. • Keep your fingers together and your thumb up. Slide the web of your hand all the way to the web of the other person's hand. Otherwise, he or she ends up shaking hands with your fingers. Also, shaking web to web effectively prevents the other per­son, no matter how strong, from crunching your knuckles. • Never offer only your fingertips, causing a weak, limp handshake.

14. 10 Commandments of a Business Meal • Thou shall not jump straight into business talk • Thou shall not be late • Thou shall not table hop • Thou shall not talk politics, diet or family • Thou shall not dominate the conversation • Thou shall not dawdle over the ordering or eating • Thou shall not drink to much alcohol • Thou shall not fight over who pays the bill • Thou shall not neglect thy table manners • Thou shall not forget to show appreciation • ** 11th- Thou shall not have bad breath !!!*** (esp. smokers)

15. Ready, Set…. Drink • Ordering Alcohol- • When in the company of strangers, follow the lead of the host if it is appropriate or not to order • Wine- • White Wine glasses are held by the stem, as not to diminish the chill • Red Wine glasses are help by the bowl, the warmth of the hand release the bouquet • Sugar Packets- • Limit the number of packets used • Place trash under saucer or tucked under placement

16. Ready, Set… Eat • Napkins- • Place on lap as soon as you are seated • Place on your chair when you must leave the table • The host should be the first to put the napkin on the table at conclusion of meal • Never flap it open or tuck it into shirt • What stuff is mine? • Drinks on the right, solids (bread plate) on the left

17. When to start- • Start only when everyone every one else has been served • Buffets are the exception • Do not serve yourself bread unless the host has signaled you to do so • Pick it up and offer it to the person on your left, then serve yourself and pass to the right

18. No, No’s • Don’t salt your food before you taste it-shows you make hasty decisions • Don’t push your plate or chair away unless you are getting up from the table • Don’t rearrange or stack your dirty dishes • Never tilt your chair • Don’t ask people where they are going when they get up from the table • If you belch, excuse your self to no one particular • Never crumble crackers in your soup or blow on it • Don’t chew ice or other inedible parts of the meal • Put butter first on your plate, not directly onto your bread • To get the last bit of soup, tilt the bowl away from you- the Tug boat goes out

19. Yes, Yes’s • Always pass the salt & pepper together • Need to get something out of your mouth- use your tongue & fork • When in doubt, use a utensil rather than your fingers • Hair in your food- don’t spoil someone else’s meal by talking about it • Food in teeth, blow nose, rearrange hair- go to the restroom • Food in someone else’s teeth- let it go if you can not be completely subtle • Don’t like your meal- who cares- tell the host you do!

20. Words to the Wise • Nothing that touched your mouth should ever directly touch the table • When you are finished- place your silverware at 4 o’clock • If you spill something don’t make a big deal about it- offer to pay for cleaning • If you decide to pass on food being offered, simply say “No Thanks”- no explanation is needed • Learn to try new foods when you have the opportunity- you may be confronted with unfamiliar choices in the furture

21. Special Needs • Tell the host when you accept the invitation (esp. if meal is in their home) • New restaurant- call ahead • Never make this a topic of conversation • Dieting? Not when you accept an invitation to eat compliments of someone else

22. Set the record straight… • Elbow on the table? • It is acceptable to have your elbows on the table if you are not eating • If you are eating, forearms only on the table • Table Manners for Kids • Same as adults

23. Conclusion • Statistics from 3 separate research projects by Harvard, Carnegie Foundation and Stanford Research Institute- Success in getting, keeping and advancing in a job depends on 85% on people skills and 15% on technical knowledge and skills (This is one of the most frustrating things you’ll have to deal with !!)

24. When in doubt, follow the lead of the host • The meal is time to visit & interact, the is always more important than the function of eating • Eating & Talking at the same time- take small bites so you can quickly finish and swallow before speaking • Thank your host with a handwritten note- classy touch

25. Smile- it is the ultimate gesture understood by all!

26. The End!