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Mentoring for Mentors. Running a discussion in lodge. By the end of this session we will have:. Examined the process of running a discussion and what it involves Identified potential difficulties and their solutions Defined your role Agreed a framework to complete the task in hand Had a go!.
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Mentoring for Mentors Running a discussion in lodge
By the end of this session we will have: • Examined the process of running a discussion and what it involves • Identified potential difficulties and their solutions • Defined your role • Agreed a framework to complete the task in hand • Had a go! ©WBro Martin Roche
‘Discussion’ • An opportunity for individuals to give open, equal and personal responses to anything that needs interpretation. • A common search for meaning that exposes ambiguities and differences ©WBro Martin Roche
‘Facilitation’ • “To make easy” • Its purpose: • No one person has all the power in the group • No one person has all the answers • People ‘own’ their opinions (respect & tolerance) ©WBro Martin Roche
What it is … and is not! • It isn’t about: • Chairing a meeting … and you being the focus • ‘Being in charge’ • Running group therapy! • It must be about: • You asking the initial questions • Leading them to ask questions of each other, which requires that • They do most of the talking • THEY REACH A CONCLUSION ©WBro Martin Roche
The pitfalls: • You doing all the talking is easy • Listening is difficult • Not interrupting is unbearable! © WBro Martin Roche
What we must not do: • Take sides • Give personal opinions – rhetorical/leading questions • Provide answers to their issues – advice in disguise! • Constantly talk in anecdotes (‘… well, when I was …’) • Allow ‘ping-pong’ exchanges between two participants • Be THE expert © WBro Martin Roche
What we must do: • Emphasise our role and keep reminding them • Create trust and maintain respect • Involve everyone • Remain positive • Value contributions (‘thank you for that …’) • Keep calm – you and them © WBro Martin Roche
What we must do: • Keep questions open – those that start with: who, what, where, when, why, how (5WH) and also: • Tell me about … • Explain for me … • Describe to me … • Provide constant affirmation (‘That’s an interesting point … what does everybody else think?’) • Maintain a party line © WBro Martin Roche
What we must do: • Keep the conversation moving in the right direction; therefore, • Be prepared to remind them of the question/point in hand • Summarise frequently – it aids consensus • Make progress and reach outcomes © WBro Martin Roche
Good examples of phrases using open questions: • We’ve just covered an awful lot of issues – can somebody summarise the things we have discussed? • What do you all think about what … has just said? • Who else feels/thinks that? • What would you do in that situation? © WBro Martin Roche
Good examples of phrases using open questions: • Why did you become a mason? • How would you introduce a potential member to your lodge? • Where would you go to find out? • What’s your view on that? • What type of person makes a good mason? © WBro Martin Roche
And some of the simplest questions are the hardest … • Such as … • Are you a better person for being a mason? • If so, how? • If not, why? © WBro Martin Roche
Remember: • Some people may be on a mission in these meetings – and it may not be the same as ours! • This may be the first opportunity some members have ever had to express an opinion on anything – never mind Masonic issues • Maintaining control of the proceedings is essential – but too much control can become manipulation • Assist them to reach conclusions – but do not impose them © WBro Martin Roche
Remember: • Summaries must be an accurate representation of their deliberations and not a mixture of your opinions and what you wish they had said! • There are not always right and wrong answers – but there can still be consensus and acceptance of differences • It’s good when we admit our mistakes – but we are sometimes not very good in the way we point out other peoples © WBro Martin Roche
Remember: • Masonry has to learn from its mistakes – part of which is moving on from them • We don’t need to know all the answers – but we need to be able to recognise them when they appear • We all need to know what achievement … the outcome … looks like (VERY important) • The most powerful and meaningful questions are the shortest ones © WBro Martin Roche
Mentoring for Mentors EXERCISE … or time to have a go!
Purpose of the exercise • To come up with a consensus about what freemasonry means to you us a group • Whilst doing this we will look at the process as well as the question • The intent is to illustrate how to run this yourself ©WBro Martin Roche
Exercise • What does freemasonry mean to you? • As an individual and in your lodge • Not the allegorical stuff • One word answers only! • Real words that you understand in everyday language and that a layman will. • Think about how you would (or do) describe it to aprospective member AND their wife/partner? • Have you ever thought about it? • Have you ever tried? © WBro Martin Roche
It may also encompass… • Why are you a mason? • Why have you stayed a mason of your lodge? • What makes your masonry fun? • And what doesn’t! • Is there anything you need to know so that you are a better informed Mason? • Does any body else in your lodge have ‘the answers’? • If not, where will you get the answers? © WBro Martin Roche
Finally • In doing the exercise, contributions will be recorded on a flip chart • Reason? • Keep them on track • Keep you on track! • Aid discussion • Ensure progress • Reach a conclusion and have a ‘product’ to go away with © WBro Martin Roche
Question What does Freemasonry mean to you?
Having gone through the exercise … • What have we achieved? • The aim is that participants will now be more confident to discuss THEIR masonry with: • A member of their lodge? • A friend? • A member of their family? • A colleague? • A potential new member? • Could you run this exercise (address this question) in a lodge? © WBro Martin Roche
Having gone through the exercise … • Turn their deliberations into a list of the top ten words that summarise what they as a group think masonry is • Without realising it they have a prompt which encompasses what Masonry is to them and a menu/agenda to describe it to somebody else! © WBro Martin Roche
And the big question… What will you take away from this session?
Mentoring for Mentors Running a discussion in lodge