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Conflict in Small Groups. www.peacemaker.net. What is conflict?. A hazard? An obstacle? An opportunity Definition: A difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires. The Slippery Slope. Trends on the Slope. From private to public responses
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Conflict in Small Groups www.peacemaker.net
What is conflict? • A hazard? • An obstacle? • An opportunity • Definition: A difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires.
Trends on the Slope • From private to public responses • From voluntary to forced solutions • Every response costs something • Both extremes end in death • “Fight or Flight” behavior
Contrasts in Responses • Escape responses • Focus on ME • Peace-faking • Attack responses • Focus on YOU • Peace-breaking • In both you can KYRG
Conciliation responses • Focus on US • Peace-making • Result: reconciliation • What responses do we see in the Bible?
Conflict provides opportunities • Glorify God • by trusting, • obeying, • and imitating him • Serve other people • by helping to bear their burdens or • by confronting them in love • Grow to be like Christ • by confessing sin and • turning from attitudes that promote conflict
The Four G’s of Peacemaking • Glorify God • Get the log out of your own eye • Gently restore • Go and be reconciled
GLORIFY GOD • By trusting Him • By obeying Him • By imitating Him • see Prov. 3:4-6; John 14:15; Eph. 5:1
GET LOG OUT OF YOUR OWN EYE • Matthew 7:5, Jesus says, "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” • Critical, negative, oversensitive attitude • Actual sinful words and actions
Matthew 7:1-5 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
James 4:1-3 • What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.
The Seven A’s of Confession • Address everyone involved • Avoid if, but, and maybe • Admit specifically • Acknowledge the hurt • Accept the consequences • Alter your behavior • Ask for forgiveness