A typical Sexual Behavior

1. Atypical Sexual Behavior Chapter 16

2. Biochemistry of Sex and Love • Limbic System • Origin of emotion, drives, desires, impulses • Older, more primitive part of the brain beneath the rational neocortex • Where that blissful feeling of love (including sex and desire) is produced by a complex cocktail of neurotransmitters, hormones, and other chemicals in our brain

3. Dopamine: dose of feel good • The mega hormone that activates, or “turns on”, your reward and pleasure centers • Released when we engage in behaviors that further our survival (involved in every craving, obsession, compulsion, or addiction) • Sex- especially new partner or novel/different/unique aspect • Food- bigger blast from eating high-calorie than low-calorie • Taking risks • Achieving goals • So, you’re not really craving the cake, winning black-jack hand, mind-blowing sex; you’re really craving the dopamine released with these activities

4. Dopamine cont. • All addictions increase dopamine’s euphoric effect: • Money • Sexual fetishes • Shopping • Gambling • When dopamine is deficient the opposite results: • Depression • Lack of ambition • Low libido • Sleep problems • Orgasm is the biggest blast of dopamine naturally available to us • Scientific studies show that the patterns in the orgasmic brain resemble those produced in a heroin rush • Orgasm and addiction have one thing in common; an initial pleasurable experience followed by a come down or hangover- your body’s natural response to homeostasis or balance

5. Prolactin: the chemical released after orgasm to bring homeostasis; biology’s way to stop us from obsessively having sex (etc.) It helps us to focus our attention elsewhere. • Anti-stress/relaxation hormone responsible for blissful states similar to meditation; can stay in bloodstream for days (study done with rats-up to14 days) • Symptoms of elevated prolactin levels; decreased sex drive, weight gain, depressed mood, hostility • Couples may misinterpret this post-orgasmic “hangover” as a loss of interest in each other; for example, this “coming down” effect may make him irritable and he might interpret her requests as demands; she may feel needy and interpret his behavior as uncaring.

6. Surviving the rollercoaster… • Post-orgasmic comedown is natural, but may also be responsible for people to “sour” on their partner or to suddenly find them unattractive, irritating, or unreasonable; this may happen after the first, or romantic phase, of a relationship, when the high levels of dopamine level out and life returns to a more balanced (realistic) way • When the dopamine surge declines, a person might interpret this as a loss of interest; no dopamine=no interest; new partner= dopamine levels soar and feelings of anticipation, excitement, aliveness return

7. Oxytocin: remedy to level to anti-monogamy playing field • Responsible for feelings of unconditional love, nurturing, and affection • Experience of love releases a neurochemical stew of: • adrenaline (the racing heart) • Dopamine (the sexual desire and craving) • Oxytocin ( the warm, loving, “gushy” feelings responsible for bonding) released through affection, without orgasm; hugging, kissing, caressing • Reduces cravings, calms, promotes feelings of well-being, increases longevity, and speeds healing, eases depression by decreasing cortisol (a stress hormone which is a factor in depression and anxiety)

9. Atypical sexual behaviors • Paraphilia: uncommon types of sexual expression; “beyond usual or typical love” • Often reveals a pattern of conditioning, when a particular behavior was reinforced with arousal and orgasm • Atypical behaviors, naturally exist on a continuum, ranging in mild/infrequently expressed tendencies to full-blown regularly manifested behaviors. Most reported cases engaging in these behaviors are male. This may be a cause of biased reporting; female exhibitionism is far less likely to be reported than for male. • Noncoercive verses coercive; the difference between solo or consensual and violating and illegal (often a minor sex offense if there isn’t any physical or sexual contact)

10. NoncoerciveParaphilias • Fetishism: a sexual behavior in which a person obtains sexual excitement primarily or exclusively from an inanimate object or a particular part of the body • Transvestic fetishism: a sexual behavior in which a person derives sexual arousal from wearing clothing of the other sex • Sadomasochistic (SM) behavior (or BDSM-bondage-domination-sadism-masochism) : The association with sexual expression with pain. Kinsey study showed 22% of men and 12% of women responded erotically to stories with SM themes. Another study showed 25% of men and women report engaging in some forms of SM. • Sexual sadism: The act of obtaining sexual arousal through giving physical and psychological pain • Sexual masochism: The act of obtaining sexual arousal through receiving physical or psychological pain; a staged encounter of being whipped, cut, pierced with needles, bound, or spanked. Only paraphilia that is expressed by women with some frequency.

11. Other noncoerciveparaphilia… • Autoerotic asphyxia: rare and life threatening- The enhancement of sexual excitement and orgasm by pressure-induced oxygen deprevation • Klismaphilia: individuals receive sexual pleasure from receiving enemas • Coprophilia: person obtains sexual arousal from contact with feces • Urophilia: person obtains sexual arousal from contact with urine

12. Coercive paraphilias • Exhibitionism: the act of exposing one’s genitals to an unwilling observer • Obscene phone calls: typically experience sexual arousal when their victims react in a horrified or shocked manner. Callers are typically male and suffer from pervasive feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. Obscene phone call are frequently the only way they can find to have sexual exchanges. • Voyeurism: the act of obtaining sexual gratification by observing undressed or sexually interacting people without their consent

13. Coercive cont. • Frotteurism: a fairly common paraphilia in which a person obtains a sexual pleasure by pressing or rubbing against a person in a crowded place • Zoophilia: a paraphilia in which a person has sexual contact with animals. Kinsey research found 8% of men and 4% of women reported having some sexual experience with animals at some point in their lives. Frequency of behavior from males were those who were raised on farms, 17% of these men reported experiencing orgasm as a result. Most common animals involved: sheep, goats, donkeys, large fowl, dogs, and cats. If a person engages in this behavior, they are young and it is usually transitory, and they a human partner may be forbidden or unavailable. • Necrophilia: a rare sexual paraphilia in which a person obtains sexual gratification be viewing or having intercourse with a corpse. Always male and almost always manifest severe emotional disorders, and see themselves as sexually and socially inept. May both hate and fear women. They may seek employment in morgues to access bodies or use simulated corpses or hire a prostitute to mimic being dead (any movement would inhibit their customer’s sexual arousal.

14. Sexual Addiction? • The concept of sexual addiction suggests that some people who engage in excessive sexual activity are manifesting symptoms of a psychological addiction, in which feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and worthlessness are temporarily relieved through a sexual high. Feelings of powerlessness over sexual behavior, resulting in life becoming unmanageable. • Some sexologists believe that by making this a distinct diagnostic category would negate individual responsibility for “uncontrollable” sexual compulsions that victimize others.

15. Beyond Vanilla • Consensual “sexual athletics” • Most talk about the importance of trust and ability to let go and feel safe • Negotiate “scenes” • Many talk positively about the “rush of pain” • One participant encourages people to “admit what gets your dick hard. Admit it and do it.” • Because it gets you off, is it good for you?