Professional Boundaries in Ministry Fall Theological Conference

1. Professional Boundaries in MinistryFall Theological Conference Rick Loseth, LICSW PACT 4 Families Collaborative 320 -231-7030 ext. 2976 rick_l@pactforfamilies.org

2. Welcome Purpose of Morning • spend a couple of hours in discussion on the broad topic of “professional boundaries” • how “electronic communication” has impacted boundaries and your ministry

3. Introductions • Who’s here • Length of time in paid ministry • Less than 5 yrs • 5 to 10 yrs • 10 to 15 yrs • 15 plus yrs • Ordained Pastor • Youth Minister • Serve as the only pastor at your church • Serve with another pastor or other staff

4. Boundaries • What are Boundaries? • They help define space, what is yours or mine, how we do or not do, etc. • Boundaries are the defining space which clarifies “you” and “me” • Help to make sure we are using time, space, things, feelings and relationships in the most appropriate way • Help ensure the best use of things, use that is consistent with our intentions, and with their original purpose • Boundaries provide for safe connections between individuals

5. Boundaries • Boundaries involves Self Discipline • Are the limits we place on ourselves (discipline) • The limits we place around ourselves (prevent invasion of space, etc) • Boundaries help clarify and communicate our intentions • Agreements with what is appropriate, what is not (cultural influences) • Boundaries are not arbitrary • Boundaries can also be confusing (cultural, family of origin)

6. Boundaries • Boundaries ultimately convey Respect • Are reasons for boundaries • Setting limits, making agreements in relationships, is an essential way of loving our neighbors as ourselves • Is also the recognition that my actions have potential to be positive or negative • Is the recognition that my actions have potential to be positive or negative

7. Boundaries -summary • Boundaries involve your belief system, values, morals, emotions, and your life experiences • Healthy boundaries serve to define who you are, contain you and protect you • Boundaries are the guidelines that assist you with appropriate closeness and separateness in relations with self and others

8. Boundaries and Relationships • Managing our professional relationships are essential to being effective in our jobs • Professional Boundaries are intended to create safe, positive connections with those we are involved with • Is critically important – our ‘clients’ are all struggling at some level with ‘boundaries’…

9. Professional vs. Personal Relationships ProfessionalPersonal

10. Professional vs. Personal Relationships Professional Paid Training Education Job Description Time Limited Power Imbalance Supervision Can “choose clients” Confidentiality Goals/purpose Records Licensure Defined place/time to meet

11. Professional vs. Personal Relationships Professional Power is unequal Self disclosure - one way Generally time-limited Meeting location defined Time limited/ session times Paid for time Training/education required Professional standards Licensure Records kept Specific Goals Personal Aims at equal power Two way self-disclosure Can last forever Can meet anywhere No time limits Unpaid No training required No defined standards No licensure needed No records kept No goals

12. Professional – Personal - Ministerial Relationships Professional Personal Ministerial • What is unique about a “Ministerial” relationship as compared to the other two? • What blurs the lines between personal professional ministerial relationships? • What changes in a “ministry” relationship? Does it change?

13. Professional – Personal - Ministerial Relationships • How does “power” influence relationships for those in ministry? • How does our “power” influence communication with members in the congregation?When doing the talking? When doing the listening?

14. Communication - • All communication has rules – some explicit, others implicit • What are some of these “rules”? • For speaking • For writing

15. A Continuum of Boundary Keeping Clear / Blurring of / Boundary Boundary Boundaries Violation ALWAYS O.K. / SOMETIMES O.K. / NEVER O.K___

16. How has electronic communication impacted the way we communicate? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eUeL3n7fDs The Social Media Revolution 2012

17. What has changed?................ • Expectations • Time • Access • Feedback/non-verbal • How else??

18. How have the changes in electronic communication affected….. • Your ministry • how you relate to others in the congregation • how you relate to other church staff • Your congregation • How the congregation communicates “formally” • How the congregation communicates “informally” • Share one or two examples of each

19. Impact…… • What impact have these changes had on your ministry? • In how you relate to your parishioners? • In how you relate to other staff? • Are they positive? Negative??? Or ?????

20. Impact…… Talk about one “thing” you are doing to positively manage your: • Professional Boundaries • Your Electronic Boundaries • For yourself • For your congregation

21. Guidelines – some ideas • Expectations –what is Professional vs. Personal communication? • Time –when am I communicating electronically? • Access- what needs to be dealt with now vs. waiting? • Feedback/Non- verbal- what needs to be done in person? • What else??

22. Guidelines –Next steps….. • Do I have a set of “guidelines” I use when communicating by email/texting/other electronic forms? • Does our church/staff have guidelines for youth and lay leaders to use? • What will I do when I go back to my congregation/ministry setting with the discussion from today?

23. Thanks! Rick Loseth, LICSW PACT for Families Collaborative 320-231-7030 ext. 2976 rick_l@pactforfamilies.org