Parents as Partners— Parent/Teacher Talk

1. Parents as Partners—Parent/Teacher Talk Words and Phrases That Empower By Margaret King-Ahmed

2. Parents as Partners with us “It takes a village to raise a child”

3. Parents as Partners… “Responsibility is not inherited, it is taught. ” Turn and talk: What do you think about this?

4. Content and Language Objectives Content Objectives: • Identify the words for empowering teachers, students, parents, and administrators for “response-able” talk • Explore ways to build mutually respectful relationships with others in a home-school partnership Language Objective: Discuss words and phrases that help students become productive, self-reliant, and caring

5. The Language of Learned Helplessness Quiz • By yourself—What is your Parent/Teacher Talk? Read the statements to determine whether or not they occur regularly in your language patterns • With a partner, discuss what you found out about your language patterns

7. Where are the answers? • Listen and participate • The answers are provided in this workshop

8. Parent Talk System… • Program that teaches a series of verbal skills and language patterns • Helps parents, teachers, children and administrators to be Responsible to each other Respectful to each other Ex: “Name it , Tame it”

9. What it does for families… • Reduces stress and strain • Minimizes family conflict • Creates a “response-able” behavior • Enables peaceful and respectful outcomes Example: “Choice awareness--You decide…” “Next time…”

10. What it does for schools… • Fewer discipline problems • Respectful talk • Common language • Empowering methods Ex: “Red Light, Green Light”

11. How it helps the individual… • Builds self-awareness of your own actions and behaviors • Promotes self-esteem and respect for others at the same time • Changes your response time—allows time for you to think before you speak Ex: “Check yourself”

12. How it helps teachers… • Outlines skillful ways to communicate with students • Gives you specific language to promote responsibility and respectfulness among your students • Stimulates learning Ex: “ Appreciative praise” “I appreciate your efforts—Thanks.”

13. Goal… Capable, caring human beings

14. How does this all happen? With your ability to change your behavior and attitude Stand, move and read aloud with a partner…

15. When you give yourself, parents, and students “internal talk…” • They own their actions and behaviors and are “response-able” • They are accountable for their behavior choices and outcomes • They practice and use this “life changing” language among their peers

16. “Next time…”— the “Don’t” alternative • Plants a positive picture in child’s head of what you want to happen in the future • The words “next time” focuses child’s attention on positive outcome rather than negative behavior you want to eliminate Instead of “How many times do I have to tell you—don’t be so loud!” (scream QUIET!) Rather say: “Next time, use your indoor voice.

17. Now you practice …What should you say? (Turn and Talk) Ex: “ Don’t track mud in the house!” “Next time, we take our shoes off at the door.” Ex: “ Don’t talk with your mouth full!” “Next time, finish chewing your food before you begin talking.”

18. Red Light, Green Light” Turn and Talk: What words belong here? Planning phase: ___________ a behavior. Make a ____________ to ____________ it. Give it a ______________.

19. Red Light, Green Light” Planning phase: Choose a behavior. Make a decision to eliminate it. Give it a name.

20. Red Light, Green Light” Turn and Talk: What words belong here? Implementation phase: Red Light • __________ (name child),that’s _____________. Say, “That’s _______________ the family _____________.” Say, “That doesn’t ______________ with ____.”

21. Red Light, Green Light” Implementation phase: Red Light • Rudy, that’s hitting. Say, “That’s against the family rules .” Say, “That doesn’t work with me.”

22. Red Light, Green Light” Turn and Talk: What words belong here? Implementation phase: GreenLight _____________ the new ___________.

23. Red Light, Green Light—Now you practice it! Behavior—”whining” Turn and Talk: What words belong here? __________, that’s __________. “That doesn’t work with me. What works with me is ___________________”.

24. Red Light, Green Light” • Key principle: If you do not have a Green Light, do not do aRed Light • Be consistent –always keep the name of the behavior the same • Remember, if you can “Name it… you can Tame it”

25. Choice Awareness—Choose, Decide, Pick • Used to teach children that they are in control of their own behavior and attitudes • Add these 3 special words to your “Parent or Teacher talk” vocabulary • Special words— Choose Decide Pick

26. Choice Awareness—Choose, Decide, Pick • Examples: “I noticed that you picked your happy mood today!” “I noticed that you chose to be ready on time for school today?” “How did you decide to act when your coach pulled you out of the game?”

27. Choice Awareness—Choose, Decide, Pick • Helpful hints: Use words like… “I noticed…..” “What response will you choose….” “How did you decide….” Turn and Talk: Practice choice awareness

28. “Check Yourself” • Helps children determine if their behavior is appropriate and productive • Promotes independence by encouraging self-evaluation and redirection of behavior

29. “Check Yourself”--examples • At camp—” You need these 4 things. Check yourself to see if you have them.” • “You chose to spend the night at Gramma’s. Check yourself… • “It’s Wednesday, Gym day. Check yourself… • field trip • Game Turn and Talk: Practice Check Yourself on one of these—you choose!

30. Appreciative Praise • “I appreciate your participation and cooperation at this workshop. It really helped the workshop run smoothly and gave me a sense of relief—Thanks” • Expresses thanks for a specific behavior • Describes the positive effect the behavior has on your life • Helps child evaluate their contribution and personal worth

31. Appreciative Praise Turn and Talk: Practice Appreciate Praise with your partner….

32. 10 best…10 worst

33. Did we accomplish our Content and Language Objectives? Content Objectives: • Identify the words for empowering teachers, students, parents, and administrators for “response-able” talk • Explore ways to build mutually respectful relationships with others in a home-school partnership Language Objective: • Discuss words and phrases that help students become productive, self-reliant, and caring