Communicating Across the Generations

1. Communicating Across the Generations

2. Objectives • Learn more about yourself • Learn more about others • Be able to adapt for greater appreciation, communication and understanding

3. Appreciating Diversity of Contributions

4. Deck of Cards Metaphor • Think of all the ways we can sort a deck of cards • Understanding people better is like that

5. Frequently Asked Questions • Is this stereotyping? • Not the intent • Helps to give some better insights • A starting place • Still need to view people as individuals

6. Frequently Asked Questions • Aren’t there a lot of people who don’t fit the profile? • Of course • Middle of the bell curve

7. Frequently Asked Questions • Do generations overlap? • Yes– by as much as 5 – 7 years • Many people identify with two generations • People born in the late 50’s and early 60’s may relate better to Gen Xers

8. Frequently Asked Questions • Don’t the generations have a lot in common? • Yes, but subtle differences often lead to conflict at work

9. Definition of a Generation • A group of people who: • Share a common range of birthdates • Normally about 18 years • Share a common set of experiences

10. Identifying the Generations

11. Births in the USA Boomers Millenials Gen Xers Builders In Millions

12. Value DevelopmentMorris Massey, The People Puzzle Imprint and Observation or Patterning Modeling by Heroes or Identification Socialization by Peers and Significant Others Significant Emotional Event(s) 1 7 14 21

13. Determining Influences • What games did you play when you were 8 - 12? • Who was a hero/heroine of yours? • What is your most vivid memory of a national or international event? • What did your folks tell you about dating? • What sort of equipment was standard when you got your first job?

14. Determining Influences

15. The Builders • Timeframe • 1926 – 1945 • Historical Events • Depression • World War II • “The difficult we do at once…the impossible takes a bit longer.” • Seabees

16. The Builders • Male Names: • James • Robert • John • Female Names: • Mary • Barbara • Patricia • Popular Movies • Singin' in the Rain • From Here to Eternity • Rebel Without a Cause • Shane

17. The Builders • Major Influences • Shortages and rationing • Economic hard times • Global conflict and sacrifice • High expectations for children

18. The Builders • Core Values • Dedication and sacrifice • Hard work • Conformity • Law and order • Respect for authority • Patience • Delayed reward • Duty before pleasure • Adherence to rules • Honor

19. Baby Boomers • Timeframe • 1946-1964 • Historical Events • Cold War • Kennedy assassination • Vietnam • “I don’t want to speak disparagingly of my generation. Actually I do; we had a chance to change the world and opted for the Home Shopping Network instead.” • Stephen King

20. Baby Boomers • Male Names: • John • David • Michael • Female Names: • Linda • Mary • Susan • Popular Movies • Psycho • The Sound of Music • The Graduate • Doctor Zhivago • One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest • Rocky

21. Baby Boomers • Major Influences • Television • Free ….. • Affluence • Civil rights movement • Vietnam

22. Baby Boomers • Core Values • Optimism • Team orientation • Personal gratification • Health and wellness • Personal growth • Youth • Work • Involvement

23. Generation X • Timeframe • 1965 - 1981 • Historical Events • Challenger • “It’s no wonder the Xers are angst ridden and rudderless. They feel America’s greatness has passed. They got to the cocktail party 20 minutes too late and all that’s left are those little wieners and a half-empty bottle of Zima.” • Dennis Miller

24. Generation X • Male Names: • David • Michael • Jason • Female Names: • Mary • Jennifer • Lisa • Popular Movies • ET • Raiders of the Lost Ark • The Silence of the Lambs • Close Encounters of the Third Kind

25. Generation X • Major Influences • Both parents working away from the home • Divorce • A lot of television • Computers • Gender neutral • Negativism

26. Generation X • Core Values • Diversity • Thinking globally • Balance • Techno literacy • Fun • Informality • Self-reliance • Pragmatism

27. Millenials • Timeframe • 1982 - 2000 • Historical Events • Death of Princess Diana • “What you see is what you get. This is me. Hey you, if you want me, don't forget--you should take me as I am. Cause I can promise you, Baby, what you see is what you get” • Britney Spears

28. Millenials • Male Names: • Michael • Jason • Christopher • Female Names: • Jennifer • Jessica • Ashley • Popular Movies • Braveheart • Titanic • Shrek

29. Millenials • Major Influences • Re-focus on family and children • Scheduled lives • Multiculturalism • Terrorism • Patriotism • Globalism

30. Millenials • Core Values • Optimism • Civic duty • Confidence • Achievement • Sociability • Morality • Street smarts • Diversity

31. Key to Working TogetherWork on Dialogue Dialogue Mutual Meaning Mutual Respect Violence Silence Mutual Purpose Politicking Hiding Labeling Attacking Withdrawing Monologuing

32. Enter Dialogue Through Mutual Purpose • Commit to seek Mutual Purpose • Foundation of trust • I care about what you care about—and vice versa

33. Enter Dialogue Through Mutual Purpose • Separate strategies from purpose • Purpose is the criteria for a common decision

34. Enter Dialogue Through Mutual Purpose • Brainstorm alternative strategies • Share suggested solutions • Strategies must address the mutual purpose

35. Build Mutual Respect • Respect begins with Inquiry • The skill of respectfully asking for information in ways that make it safe to share.

36. Build Mutual Respect • Advocacy • The skill of respectfully sharing our honest feelings and information without causing others to become defensive or to be annoyed.

37. Build Mutual Respect • Responding to others • First words out of your mouth • Non-verbals • Negative positives

38. Focus Area One • Reduce the attribution error • Telling a story that makes the other person bad or wrong. • Solution: Attribute a good motive, then check it out.

39. Exercise in AttributionWhat Other Generations Say About Each Other Builders Boomers Gen Xers Millenials • Dictatorial • Set in their ways • Self-righteous • Self-absorbed • Whiners • Don’t work hard • Need discipline • Everything’s electronic

40. Focus Area Two • Dealing with the balance of work life and home life

41. Situation 2.1 • Traditionalist Mortgage Bank Manager • Generation X Loan Officers • Coldwell Banker is having an open house from Noon – 4:00 PM on Sunday at the new development. • “I would like Bob and Sue to go out there and staff an information table for us.” • Bob and Sue response: • “Can’t do it. I’m not going to give up my weekend.”

42. Career GoalsWhen Generations Collide, Lynne Lancaster and David Stillman

43. Values Generalizations Boomers, Xers and Other Strangers Dr. Rick and Kathy Hicks

44. Focus Area Three • Sharing information

45. Situation 3.1 • Builder Manager • Baby Boomer Supervisor • Supervisor—”I would like to take a look at the calendar of projects for the next 12 months” • Manager—”Why would you want to see that?” • Supervisor-”I just want to get a better picture of what’s coming up and how I might fit in.” • Manager—”You don’t understand—those plans are confidential. I’ll let you know when a project is coming up that affects you.”

46. Situation 3.2 • Generation X Supervisor • Millennial Staff • Supervisor e-mailed instructions to the staff and asked them to check-in with her at the end of each week on their progress. • Staff starts bombarding her with suggestions on how the job could be improved.

47. Focus Area Four • Approaches to Time

48. Situation 4.1 • Gen X Staffer--Alex • Traditionalist Supervisor--Fran • Alex has been working very long weeks. He decides he needs a day off. Goes to the Supervisor and says, “Hey Fran, I won’t be here on Friday—I need a mental health day.” • Fran’s response—”Will that be a sick day or vacation?”

49. Focus Area Five • Dealing with Deference or Entitlement

50. Situation 5.1 • Traditionalist Bank Customer • Millennial Teller • Teller—”I need to see some ID before I can cash this check.” • Customer—”I’ve been a customer here for thirty years. I have never been asked for ID.” • Teller—”Our policy says that if I don’t personally know the customer I have to get ID. It’s really for your own good, you don’t want me to give the money to a thief do you?”