Understanding Your Child’s Personality Tuesday, April 22 nd 7:00pm – 8:30pm

1. Understanding Your Child’s Personality Tuesday, April 22nd 7:00pm – 8:30pm

2. “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.” I Corinthians 12: 4-6

3. “God has arranged the parts of the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts but one body.” • I Corinthians 12:18-20

4. Do you ever wonder why you are naturally drawn to some people and not drawn to others?

5. Do you ever wonder why, although you love your children equally, you like one more than the other?

6. Carl Jung (1875 – 1961) father of Analytical Psychology, developed Types and Archetypes • Isabel Briggs Meyers (1897 – 1980) with her mother, Katherine Briggs, developed a personality assessment tool- the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) still used today to assess one of 16 personality types • Murphy-MeisgeierType Indicator for ChildrenDeveloped in the early 1980’s and began being used to assess children’s personality types in 1987

7. Personality Traits Are you inwardly or outwardly focused? I = introvert E = extravert How do you prefer to take in information? S = sensing N = iNtuitive How do you prefer to make decisions? T = thinking F = feeling How do you prefer to live your outer life? J = judging P = perceiving

8. The Four Dichotomies

9. The Four Dichotomies Extraverted (E) or Introverted (I) Extraversion refers to the act or state of being energized by the world outside the self. Extraverts enjoy socializing and tend to be more enthusiastic, assertive, talkative, and animated. They enjoy time spent with more people and find it less rewarding to spend time alone. Introversion, on the contrary, is the state of being predominately concerned with one’s inner world. Introverts prefer self-reflection to social interactions. They also prefer to observe before participating in an activity. Introverts tend to more quiet, ‘peaceful’, and reserved. Note: Introverts prefer individual activities over social ones—this is not to be mistaken with shy people who fear social situations (“Extraversion”).

10. Sensing (S) or Intuition (N) Sensing refers to processing data through the five senses. Sensing people focus on the present and prefer to “learn by doing” rather than thinking it through. They are concrete thinkers recognize details. They are more energized by the practical use of an object/idea rather than the theory behind it. Intuition refers to how people process data. Intuitive people are keener to the meaning and patterns behind information. Intuitive people are more focused on how the present would affect the future. They are readily able to grasp different possibilities and abstract concepts. They easily see the big picture rather than the details.

11. Thinking (T) or Feeling (F) Thinking refers to how people make decisions. Thinking people are objective and base their decision on hard logic and facts. They tend to analyze the pros and cons of a situation and notice inconsistencies. They prefer to be task-oriented and fair. Feeling people are more subjective. They base their decisions on principles and personal values. When making decisions, they consider other people’s feelings and take it in account. It is in their best mind to maintain harmony among a group. They are more governed by their heart.

12. Judging (J) or Perceiving (P) Judging refers to how people outwardly display themselves when making decisions. Judging people have a tendency to be organized and prompt. They like order prefer outlined schedules to working extemporaneously. They find the outcome more rewarding than the process of creating something. Judging people seek closure. Perceiving people prefer flexibility and live their life with spontaneity. They dislike structure and prefer to adapt to new situations rather than plan for it. They tend to be open to new options and experiences. While working on a project, they enjoy the process more than the outcome.

13. Observations Based On Age • Infants and Toddlers - hold, love, nurture • Ages 2-6 – only Introversion or Extroversion and Judging or Perceiving may be observed • Ages 7-13 – only 3 of the traits may be observed, excluding Thinking or Feeling • Age 13 and up – all 4 traits may be observed: I or E; S or N; T or F; Jor P

14. Observe Your Child • At play with siblings or other children • At mealtime • In their room • In family interaction • In the classroom • Understand, respect and nurture their individual personality

19. David Caring Shepherd/Provider ESFJ (Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging) Extrovert: Thinks out loud, center of attention (1 Sam 17:26) Sensing: Focuses on reality of situation and pays attention to details (1 Sam 25:32) Feeling: Base decisions on personal values, values harmony, forgiveness (1 Sam 24:5 ,1 Sam 18:5) Judging: Prefers matters settled, thinks rules should be respected, know what getting into (2 Sam 12:5)

20. “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ, we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” Romans 12:3-5

21. Let’s break into our small groups and discuss what we’ve learned. • Be back here in the main sanctuary at 8:15pm

22. Understanding Your Child’s Personality Tuesday, April 22nd 7:00pm – 8:30pm

23. Small Group Discussion Questions: • Do you know your own personality type? If so, which type are you? • Introvert or Extrovert • Thinking or Feeling • Sensing or iNtuitive • Judging or Perceiving • Do you see any similarities in your child? • Have you observed tendencies toward extroversion or introversion in your child? • Have you observed tendencies toward a need for organization or the exact opposite in your child? • How does your child socialize with other children? • Are you able to observe emerging personality traits in your children? • Take Away… Find out what personality type your children are… then purposely do something with them that reinforces what you’ve learned.

24. From MBTI Manual

25. Portrait of an ESFJ - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging [https://www.personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html](Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Sensing) The Caregiver • As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. • ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves. • The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them. • ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.

26. With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment. • The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. However, theyweigh their values and morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system. They may have a strong moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values. • ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJs who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people, and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.

27. All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controlling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled. • ESFJs respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well. They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory. Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of the established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questioning or understanding them. • An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of their attention on pleasing others. He or she might also be very controlling, or overly sensitive, imagining bad intentions when there weren't any. • ESFJs incorporate many of the traits that are associated with women in our society. However, male ESFJs will usually not appear feminine at all. On the contrary, ESFJs are typically quite conscious about gender roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society. Male ESFJs will be quite masculine (albeit sensitive when you get to know them), and female ESFJs will be very feminine. • ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.

28. Link to paper MBTI Test: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CEMQFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fimbti.googlecode.com%2Ffiles%2Fmbti.test.doc&ei=Ei1UU5zuH4yOyATchoDQAg&usg=AFQjCNGlmEuohEE3JwfJTlxldY4Y8E8HMA&bvm=bv.65058239,d.aWw Link to Test/Evaluation: http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html Link to Cognitive (to select info on your type): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:CognitiveFunctions.png Link to INTP details: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTP Link to MTBI Manual: http://calpoly.edu/~cwang24/mbtimanual.pdf Biblical Support for the types: http://home.centurytel.net/foundations/humanity/mbti/3_8prefs/bib_supt.htm Link to further understanding types: http://home.centurytel.net/foundations/humanity/mbti/5_types/4X16.htm Bible Examples of 4 types MBTI: http://home.centurytel.net/foundations/humanity/mbti/5_types/4grp_bib.htm

29. Next week, we will talk about United Parenting. Have a great week!