My Experience Facilitating Support Groups at:

1. My Experience Facilitating Support Groups at:

2. My first internship was with Womencare Domestic Violence Shelter in Bellingham, WA. During my second quarter there I had the opportunity to lead the Women’s Support Groups. The groups were either topic or art based. The art based groups were through a program out of California called A Window Between Worlds. I facilitated several of each kind finding the topic based to be my favorite because I was able to learn from the group and connect with each of the women who participated.

3. A Window Between WorldsArt Based Support Groups Mission Click the Image Above To visit A Window Between Worlds Website A Window Between Worlds is a non-profit organization dedicated to using art to help end domestic violence.  Through creative expression, battered women and children recover a sense of renewal and power.  Their images of hope, survival and strength educate the public and become "a window between worlds" for survivors taking steps to change their lives.

4. A Window Between Worlds was putting together an exhibit called a Pearls if Wisdom and Womencare Shelter was the only shelter invited to participate and I had the honor of facilitating the support group. “Just as beautiful pearls are formed in response to irritants, think about your own life lessons that you've learned from overcoming difficulties and then share them on our community wall.” AWBW To view the beautiful pearls created click the link below : http://www.awbw.org/awbw/exhibit_detail.php?itemid=0&exhibitid=31 To watch a short video about the Pearls of Wisdom click the link below: http://vimeo.com/22824673

5. Topic Based Support Groups Most often I would facilitate the topic based support groups. Before the group I liked to write up an agenda . I would try to bring in sources outside of the Women’s Work Book. They could be quotes which fit the topic, or a section of a book. Anything which I felt was appropriate. As a facilitator I was there to make sure everyone was heard , and allow the conversation to flow naturally. If a topic was exhausted or the conversation stalled I would introduce something new from my agenda or ask the women if there was a topic they would like to discuss. On the next slide is an example of a support group agenda.

6. Example of a Support Group Agenda Support Group Agenda NOTES/ANOUNCEMENTS: Check In/introductions What Keeps Women in Abusive Relationships?/ Self-care 1. Go over list in workbook 2. What are some of the other barriers you face when trying to end your relationship? 3. What are some of the ways you have overcome or are overcoming these barriers? 4. Einstein: The Higher you go the more you can see. The perspective from the top of the mountain is much broader and you can see more, yet it does not invalidate the views from the lower parts of the mountain. When Copernicus proved the sun to be the center of the universe, I originally thought that invalidated the theory that the earth was the center of the universe. Only with new data and a more expansive perspective- a view from higher up the mountain- were people able to see differently. So to me this mean that for a person know something is wrong or different they first have to learn what is right, and that takes a new perspective, you have to climb higher up the mountain. 5. Does this quote make you think of anything in your life, do you feel it is relevant? 6. Can you think of times in your life when your life has changed? Taking care of ourselves 1. Go over topic in workbook 2. What will you do tonight or tomorrow for your own self-care? 3. What is something that only takes a few moments to do that improves your self-talk/mood?

7. During one topic based support group I brought in copies of a list of things people can do to boost their self-esteem which I thought could have been better and the ladies agreed. During that group the women worked through the list revamped and even added a few new ways to the list. The next slid is the final product.

8. Sixteen Ways to boost your self-esteem 1. Learn to love yourself for who you are. If you like and accept yourself, those around you will too. 2. Distance yourself from people who constantly criticize you and put you down; rather hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself when you are around them. 3.  Accept the things about yourself that you can’t change. 4. Look for ways to better your good qualities and set goals for yourself. 5. Step outside your comfort zone and take risks. 6. Don’t build your self-esteem around what other people think about you. 7. Build yourself up with “I can” statements. 8. Remind yourself it’s ok to make mistakes. It only proves you’re human. 9. Take time each day to learn and do what makes you feel good/special. 10. Don’t compare yourself to others. 11. Honor your strengths. 12. Take care of your body. 13. Reward yourself for your accomplishments. Don’t take yourself for granted. 14. Be aware of your “self talk”. 15. Focus on things you are good at. 16. Accept compliments from people gracefully.

9. Reflection I wrote after the first support group I facilitated. Today at my internship at Womencare Shelter I was able to facilitate my first women’s support group meeting. The group was topic based tonight and I choose to discuss the topic of why women stay in abusive relationships. I used the women’s work book to inform myself before the group. During the group the women took turns reading the different reasons why women stay and I also joined in the reading. After all the reasons listed were read the women spoke about ones they could relate to and ones they found to be the most powerful to them. They then discussed the questions that went along with the topic. I had an agenda written out that included different quotes and questions for the women to ponder. As the conversation flowed new ideas came up and new pages of the workbook were explored. The women shared thoughts and feelings about the topics and the conversation continued the entire time. At first when it was time for the support group to begin no one came in the room. Some of the women in the kitchen were talking and telling one another how they were not going to go. I was a little freaked out at this point. I wanted them to accept me and come to the support group and I started thinking to myself all the reasons why they wouldn’t want to and all the reasons had to do with me. I thought to myself, i’m too young, they don’t know me, they don’t trust me, they don’t think I can relate to them, the list goes on. I knew I needed to keep positive. About ten minutes after group was supposed to begin and woman came in and then another. The second woman went and rounded up three more women so there was a total of five women sitting there looking at me. That’s when a while new kind of pressure landed on my shoulders. I could do this and I knew I could. The women were all talking and laughing, I didn’t want to seem pushy so I let them talk for a few minutes and then I started the meeting off with a question about the pumpkin painting later on in the week and then followed that up with a question about what kind of self care night they would like to have. This got them talking and they began to warm up to me. I remember at one point I was try to not be afraid of the silence so I sat there and we were all looking from one another and then everyone just stared laughing. I was happy with the way things were going everyone was involved and the conversation had a natural flow. As it went on and new ideas came up or things came up that I could relate back to the workbook I did and things seemed to be relatable. I was worried in the beginning they wouldn’t take me seriously or walk all over me but they didn’t and it felt really good. I hung in there and it was empowering for me to know I was capable of facilitating a support group. Before going into this support group I talked it over with the woman’s advocate who is also my supervisor. One thing she told me, which really helped me in the facilitation process, was not to hang on to tightly to my agenda. I am grateful for that advice because it enabled me to give myself permission to be flexible with the agenda. If I hadn’t been flexible, the group would have been cut short because we went through everything I had and then some. Another reason to be flexible is the women are still processing so much and it is good for them to be able to ask questions and talk about what they feel the need to. On a final note I feel I was able to learn to overcome the feelings of dissonance I had at the beginning of the group. When I was thinking to myself about the women not wanting to come to group because of me I was feeling like a big weirdo and really coming down on myself. I told myself to hang in there, be patient. I was looking at the clock and waiting and hoping the women would come to the group. Then when they did I felt I didn’t have the skills to facilitate the meeting when I truly did. I was able to hang in there and keep my mind right and in the end I came out the other side of the dissonance stronger and with more belief in my abilities.

10. A Note From My Supervisor After shadowing and co-facilitating two women’s support groups at the shelter Angela was inspired and felt ready to facilitate topic based support groups. This is not typical of interns, even if it’s their second quarter. Angela’s compassion and calm as a cucumber energy was welcomed by women she worked with. She quickly gained skills in facilitating group and brought in poems and other words of empowerment to incorporate and personalize the groups she facilitated. I sat in on a number of the groups she facilitated; however, I was quite comfortable with her facilitating on her own which she did a number of. We may have missed some in our documenting but records show Angela facilitated six support groups. Angela facilitated women’s topic based support groups as well as art based support groups through workshops of the A Window Between World’s (AWBW) program. This gave her a range of facilitation experience. She was also responsible for documenting time spent in group in each person’s file, planning group, setting up, taking down and also documenting how group went and numbers in three locations relating to funding and reports that are sent to the board. She was responsible and reliable in doing these important, sometimes seemingly tedious tasks. In accompaniment with facilitating groups Angela worked on updating and improving the Women’s Workbook. The workbook includes information about Womencare services, weekly goal sheets, domestic violence info, support group handouts, healing and empowerment info, poems/short essays of inspiration and resources and support for folks parenting. The workbook consists of around 50 pages; 100 pages front and back. Many of the pages weren’t in electronic form on the computer but photocopies. Angela worked to build the workbook into a Publisher document. She also updated information, added new pages of information and during a support group created a new Self Esteem boosters page. The women in the support group and Angela created an improved list because the one in the workbook folks weren’t impressed with. Angela’s support in this act of itself helped to boost women’s self esteem. They were all smiles knowing that they had created something empowering for themselves and that would be included in the new workbook to be passed on to other women. Bridget Carlson Womencare Shelter

11. Thank You for Viewing My Facilitation PowerPoint -Angela Thompson