Tri State Diversity Conference February 4-5, 2010

1. Tri State Diversity ConferenceFebruary 4-5, 2010 “Keeping it Real” : Homophobia Affects Everyone Presented by: Tracey DuEst, M.Ed Program Director, DISCO

2. From girls confronting popular messages about culture and body image to boys who are sexually active just to prove they aren't gay, the students in Straightlaced illustrate the toll that deeply held stereotypes and rigid gender policing have on all of our lives. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qN5rPAAhSxU Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

3. Problem: Hostile School Climate • Schools nationwide are unsafe environments for a distressing majority of LGBT students who continue to face harassment and even physical assault, often without intervention from school staff. • 9 out of 10 students report hearing biased language in their schools, most commonly anti- LGBT remarks. Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

4. Problem: Hostile School Climate • Nearly nine- tenths of students (86.2%) reported being verbally harassed (e.g., called names or threatened) at school because of their sexual orientation. And two- thirds (66.5%) of students were verbally harassed because of their gender expression. • Almost half (44.1%) of students had been physically harassed (e.g., pushed or shoved) at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation and three in ten students (30.4%) because of their gender expression. • For some, victimization was even more severe – 22.1% reported being physically assaulted (e.g., punched, kicked or injured with a weapon) because of their sexual orientation and 14.2% because of their gender expression. Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

5. Problem: Hostile School Climate • The majority (60.8%) of students who were harassed or assaulted in school did not report the incident to school staff, believing little or no action would be taken or the situation could become worse if reported. In fact, nearly a third (31.1%) of the students who did report an incident said that school staff did nothing in response. Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

6. Problem: Absenteeism • Many LGBT students are forced to miss class or entire days of school rather than face a hostile environment where they experience continual harassment. These students are being denied their right to an education. • 31.7% of LGBT students missed a class because of feeling unsafe, compared to only 5.5% of a national sample of secondary school students. • 32.7% of LGBT students missed a day of school because of feeling unsafe, compared to only 4.5% of a national sample of secondary school students. Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

7. Problem: Absenteeism Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

8. Problem: Absenteeism Female Student, 12th Grade, MD “I stayed at home because everyone hated me so much that it made me hate myself, and I thought there was something completely wrong with me. I missed almost three weeks in a row to avoid seeing the other students.” Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

9. Problem: Lowered Educational Aspirations • Students cannot succeed in school when they do not feel safe. The incidence of in-school victimization experienced by LGBT students hinders their academic success and educational aspirations. Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

10. What are the top three issues that students who have a different sexual orientation are faced with? • Top three issues = harassment; “sin”; bias • Safe forum to deal with their feelings – both sexual feelings and feelings of acceptance in a group. • Discrimination based on fear – that somehow the sexual orientation makes them sexually deviant and a threat to other children. • Lack of role models in schools to help navigate the world from a position of minority/oppression/difference. • Bullying/ teasing. • Having to keep secrets - trying to figure out who is "safe" to talk to (students and teachers).   At our school, there is an informal "underground network" of safe people.  We know who we are... I just hope all of the gay kids do, too. • They struggle to come out to their families and be accepted once they do, and then have the same struggle with their peers and probably teachers too. • Some are teased for appearing too masculine or too feminine. • Prom, dating etc.

11. What are the top three concerns/fears that come up for you, the district and/or the board when it comes to dealing with sexual education? • The general community attitude toward LGBT is perceived to be discriminatory; how do you approach a board that has several members who have known religious fundamentalist views; will I lose my job if I advocate too strongly? • Ignorance in public perception that race/ethnicity and poverty are not choices for people and homosexuality is – “they choose to be this way and they can choose not to… they made their bed.” • Of the “isms” that we deal with in school, this is the only one that deals with sexuality- we don’t talk about the sexuality of heterosexual students, so why do we have to talk about sexuality at all? Keep it to yourself. • It remains a socially acceptable discrimination.  It is okay to make gay jokes, make fun of stereotypes, etc in social situations.  People will and do still publicly celebrate their homophobia.  It feels unsafe for students to make it a public event.  How would we protect them from the public bashing that would be “ok” in the eyes of many adults both in and out of school?  It would never be okay to go to a board meeting to say you did not want your children to go to school with black children.  I would venture to guess that it would be likely that there would be people at a board meeting opposing support of openly gay students.

12. What are the top three concerns/fears that come up for you, the district and/or he board when it comes to dealing with sexual education? • I have a particular concern for gay students  who have deep commitment to their religious faith but can't always reconcile their beliefs with their orientation because their church, synagogue or mosque teaches that they need to change. It's sad to me that many end up abandoning/denying one or the other (faith or orientation), when they can be BOTH gay and devoted to God in more inclusive communities of faith.   Both religion and orientation are taboo topics in the public schools.... so talking about either one, and especially both, can be dangerous territory! • Trying to be supportive and inclusive without appearing to "recruit" students or "promote" a certain lifestyle, especially in a very conservative community. There is a tendency for people to believe that any teacher who is supportive of gay students must be gay too. Even though I am not gay I deliberately choose not to make any attempt to clear up people's curiosity though, because I don't really care if they think I am gay... but it can cause misunderstandings (and weird rumors that make the professional environment  unwelcoming). • I'm frustrated by so many ignorant and homophobic comments and jokes that straight students (and sometimes teachers) make on a daily basis, but I'm not always sure what I'm "allowed" to say in response... legally, morally, and according to the values of the community I teach in. It makes me crazy sometimes when I see other teachers and administrators not addressing the issue. • The district wants to embrace all minorities, but homosexuality is often left out of the equation, and it’s rarely spoken of directly. It is still handled as though it’s taboo. • They are not represented in the curriculum much.

13. What if anything would make it easier for you to deal with sexual orientation in your school district? • A friendly dialogue about the issues surrounding orientation with people of various perspectives... not to change anyone's mind, but just to agree on what we can agree on (for example, that bullying is wrong, no matter what you think about homosexuality).    We have done this with some student groups, but I never know if the information really "sticks with them" after they leave the assembly...   I'd love to try a similar thing with a group of teachers, administrators, and Board members. • Board and community acceptance of GLBT; administrators in school buildings who support GLBT; mandatory DISC training for everyone who serves our students. • With our GSA, I’m told by my administration we have to have parental permission to show any videos and some of our members feel it difficult to disclose their membership to their parents, even if their parents know they are gay it causes difficulties when the issue is brought up. The videos are documentaries or interviews. How do I comply with administration and expose my students to valuable videos without causing problems on either front? • Tools, workshops etc., that can help school based teams with common language that elevates the conversation beyond “sex”- relationships and feelings are so much more than sex. We operate in ignorance. Knowledge is power. • If I knew what the district/building was willing to support and what they were willing to try to eliminate.

14. Solution: Gay- Straight Alliances • The presence of Gay- Straight Alliances (GSA’s) can create a more welcoming climate for LGBT students and allies. • Students in schools with a Gay-Straight Alliance: • Report hearing fewer homophobic remarks • Experienced less harassment and assault because of their sexual orientation and gender expression • Were more likely to report incidents of harassment and assault • Were less likely to feel unsafe because of their sexual orientation or gender expression • Were less likely to miss school because of safety concerns and reported a greater sense of belonging to their school community Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

15. Solution: Gay- Straight Alliances Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

16. Solution: Supportive Educators • Supportive Educators can make a critical difference in the lives of LGBT students. • Students with supportive educators (six or more): • Were less likely to miss at least one day of school in the past month because of safety reasons (20.4%) than students with no supportive educators (39.8%) • Had higher GPA’s than students without supportive educators (2.9 versus 2.5) • Reported higher educational aspirations than those without supportive educators • Reported a greater sense of belonging to their school community than those without supportive educators Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

17. Solution: Supportive Educators Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

18. Safe School Laws Only 16 states and the District of Columbia (green and magenta in the map below) have safe schools laws designed to protect students based on sexual orientation. Only 12 states and D.C. (green in the map) have such laws to protect students based on sexual orientation and gender identity/ expression. Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

19. What are Safe School Laws? • The first type is non- discrimination laws which many states have passed to provide protection from discrimination to LGBT students in schools. • The second type is fully enumeratedanti- bullying laws. These are laws that specifically prohibit bullying and harassment of students based on sexual orientation and gender identity/ expression. Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

20. Solution: Policy Review • School policies that directly address anti-LGBT bullying and harassment can create better learning environments for LGBT students: • Students heard fewer homophobic remarks (68.8% frequently or often) compared to students in schools with generic, non-enumerated policies (74.3%) or no policy (75.0%) • Students experienced lower levels of victimization related to their sexual orientation than students with generic policies or no policies at all • Students were more likely to report that school staff intervened most of the time or always when hearing homophobic language in school (29.1%) compared to students in schools with generic policies (17.5%) or no policies (13.1%) Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

21. Were more likely to report incidents of harassment and assault to school staff (18.7% reported most of the time or always) compared to students in schools with generic policies (13.7%) or no policies at all (11.0%) Source: GLSEN National School Climate Survey 2007, Executive Summary

22. HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE • What do you think caused your heterosexuality? • When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual? • Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you might grow out of? • If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexuals? • Your heterosexuality doesn’t offend me as long as you don’t try to force it on me. Why do you people feel compelled to seduce others into your sexual orientation? • The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you really consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?

23. HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE Cont. • Why do you insist on being so obvious and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet? • With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals? • A disproportionate number of criminals, welfare recipients, and other irresponsible or antisocial types are heterosexual. Why would anyone want to hire a heterosexual for a responsible position? • Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous? • --Adapted from Martin Rochlin, Ph.D. • What are your overall reactions to these questions? • Which question(s) caused the greatest responses from you? Why?