Communication Matters!

1. Communication Matters! Conference for Women Living with Metastatic Breast Cancer April 14, 2013 Wendy Griffith, MSSW, LCSW, OSW-C Social Work Counselor

2. Outline About communication Challenges Communication: With yourself With loved ones With children Strategies for maintaining communication Helpful tips

3. Communication Communication is always important, but following a cancer diagnosis it can: Decrease harmful effects of assumptions Provide a sense of power Create opportunity for growth and deeper understanding Facilitate coping

4. Challenges Dynamics may be complicated already Situation involves life/death and the unknown No one wants to say or do the wrong thing The diagnosis may bring up past grief/stress for everyone involved It’s difficult to be vulnerable Opening dialogue can give people the impression that they are privy to everything from that point forward

5. Types of communication Verbal Words and tones Non-verbal Body language, physical touch, facial expressions, etc. Behavioral Actions

6. Communication With Yourself

7. Negative Self-talk

8. Talking to yourself Work through the negativity Document evidence disproving the negative thought Make a list of positive thoughts or affirmations List things you’ve done to help others in the past What would your mentor do? Seek help if this isn’t successful

9. Communication With Others

10. Before you talk to your loved ones Think back to how you dealt with past difficult situations Prepare an outline with the main points you want to cover Start with close circle of loved ones and move outward as desired. Try to pick a day where you will feel best prepared Chose a quiet, private place if possible Keep the conversation to a reasonable length

11. What are your needs? Individual/Family Housing, transportation, meals, etc. Health/Treatment Someone to accompany you to appointments, a caregiver at home following treatments, etc. Work responsibilities Coping

12. How do you cope? Examples: Maintaining routines Letting someone else handle the details Helping others Engaging in physical activities Being knowledgeable about your diagnosis/treatment Visiting with small groups of friends

13. What will be helpful to you? Examples: Simple listening Distraction Having a constant cheerleader Positive thinking Taking initiative Telling others about your diagnosis

14. How do they cope? Examples: Talking? Being involved in care? Helping maintain the household? Contributing financially? Focusing on work or other responsibilities?

15. Strategies for maintaining communication Designate someone to communicate to others Group email/text Create a calendar www.lotsahelpinghands.com www.caringbridge.org Blog www.carepages.com

16. Talking to Children

17. Talking to children about cancer Tell them early on Check for misinformation 3 C’s It’s cancer They didn’t cause it They can’t catch it Reassure them that a plan for their welfare is in place BE HONEST!

18. Tips Handling all the different reactions in addition to your own emotions can be draining, so remember to take care of yourself. Do what you can to meet the needs of others, but try to keep it to a basic level. It’s okay for them to mold around your needs. Agree to inform loved ones of any changes Even with great communication there will be bumps in the road. Pass on any articles/videos/ movies/podcasts that resonate with your experience Be prepared for others to tell you stories about their experiences with people who had cancer Come up with an answer to “how are you?” You may get bombarded with “helpful” resources. If you’re not ready for them yet, keep them in a safe place for later.

19. Thoughts? Questions? Contact information: Wendy Griffith, MSSW, LCSW, OSW-C wegriffith@mdanderson.org 713-792-9948