Parenting For School Success

1. Parenting For School Success A Guide For Parents Based on research and tools prepared by the University of Minnesota Extension Children, Youth & Family Consortium

2. Introduction This presentation addresses six constructs in working with parents. The constructs provided is based on research, dialogue with parents, teachers, and others about the role of parents in their child’s education and lifelong success. Parents are the first and continuing teachers in their child’s education. Children are better served and achieve more when districts, schools and educators work in partnership.

3. Parenting For School Success • EXPECTATIONS • STRUCTURE • LEARNING • SUPPORT • RELATIONSHIPS • MODELING

4. Expectations Children at any age: • Explain why school is important • Expect your children to go to school • Look ahead – talk with your children about what the teacher expects • Set Clear consistent rules about schoolwork and behavior

5. Expectations:Families with Preschoolers • Your preschooler is learning rapidly. Be patient and commit to being their first teacher. • Teach respect. Talk to your children about how you expect them to behave. • Read regularly to your preschooler and introduce them to books/the library and appropriate media. • Provide clear and direct instructions to your preschooler.

6. Expectations: Families withElementary students • Look over homework- ask questions and give helpful feedback • Teach respect. Talk to your children about how you expect them to behave • Read regularly. Know that your child is reading • Watch for stress signs. Children who feel stressed or overloaded may cry easily, tire quickly or dawdle.

7. Expectations: Families withSecondary students • Parents matter. Your opinion is still important • Encourage challenging choices. Talk with your teen about how classes relate to life decisions. • Make studying a priority. Watch the number of activities or jobs- they can get in the way • Move beyond grades. Effort and attitude are important • Watch for too much stress. Too much extra..

8. Group discussion on Expectations • How do you define expectations for your student? • Are you able to have on going discussions with your student about expectations? • What has worked in your family about sharing expectations?

9. Structure Children at any age: • Make sure children eat breakfast. • Participate in regular family meal times. • Limit time on videos/television/media. • Pay attention. • Be familiar with your child’s school schedule. • Ask for a language interpreter. • Have a scheduling strategy. Example calendar • Children need an adequate amount of sleep.

10. Structure: Families withPreschoolers • Follow a schedule – Importance of a daily routine. • Record development and learning milestones. Keep progress reports from teachers and other assessments. • Let children be children – Don’t over schedule your child’s life. Allow time for play, day dreaming and exploration. • Be prepared to answer questions, to listen , to guide and to encourage.

11. Structure: Families withElementary students • Follow a schedule – Importance of a daily routine • Make room for learning – Have a special place for homework • Let children be children – Don’t over schedule your child’s life. Allow time for play, day dreaming and exploration

12. Structure: Families withSecondary students • Be there. Try to have at least one parent or supervising adult available to your child • Encourage teens to improve their organizational skills. Teach them to use a planner or keep a calendar of events • Support teens in looking ahead. • Encourage teens to focus when working at a difficult task.

13. Group discussion onStructure • What are some of the hindrances to developing structure in the home? • Share a strategy that has been helpful in overcoming those hindrances? • What value do you place on structure in the home?

14. Learning Children at any age: • Encourage children to think of school as their job. • Help children with their homework, but don’t do it for them. • Assist children in learning online. • Involve your children in family discussions. • Look for ways to learn from what your community offers. • Play games together.

15. Learning: Families with Preschoolers • Give them lots of opportunities with work with their hands. • Explain boundaries and rules. • Turn everyday household chores into learning experiences. • Talk with your child often.

16. Learning: for parents of Preschoolers • Read often to your child • Play stimulates learning. Allow your preschooler to play often. • Go places and do things. • Present opportunities for social and emotional needs to be met, through various interactions and situations.

17. Learning: Families withElementary students • Pay attention to requests from teachers. • Turn everyday household chores into learning experiences. • Talk with your child often. • Read to your child and listen to your child read. • Discuss allowances. • Go places and do things together.

18. Learning: Families withSecondary students • Talk with your teens. (learning how to listen) • Encourage your children to get involved in the community. • Assist teens in learning how to manage money. • Teach life skills

19. Group discussion onLearning • What are some of the ways you have overcome challenges to learning? • Name some tools that you have received, invested or utilized to help overcome challenges to learning.

20. Support Children at any age: • Pay attention to what children are doing and learning at school. • Be there. Attend school activities and volunteer when you can. • Communicate with teachers. • Focus on solutions. • All children develop and learn in their own way.

21. Support: Families with Preschoolers • Praise your children every day. Effective praise recognizes the child’s effort not just success. Effective praise is immediate and is about the task. Don’t wait until the report card comes. • Be aware of special needs. If you suspect your child has a special need, begin by talking to school staff. You may need to go beyond the school to find help. • Participate in your child’s learning. No matter how well you read or what your first language is, be involved in your child’s learning.

22. Support: Families withElementary students • Praise your children every day. Effective praise recognizes the child’s effort not just success. Effective praise is immediate and is about the task. Don’t wait until the report card comes. • Be aware of special needs. If you suspect your child has a special need, begin by talking to school staff. You may need to go beyond the school to find help. • Participate in your child’s learning. No matter how well you read or what your first language is, be involved in your child’s learning.

23. Support : Families with Secondary students • Help plan educational programs. Get involved with your teen as he or she decides what courses to take. Find out what courses are available and which are needed for future plans after graduation. • Talk with your teens about their future plans. Advise and guide them toward choices that will help those plans become a reality.

24. Group discussion onSupport • How does support look like in your family? • Identify support you have received from family, community and/or school. • Share a time when your student/child needed support.

25. Relationships Children at any age: • Express acceptance: Let your children know that you always love them! Reinforce good behavior. • Catch your child being good. Make a big deal of it. • Listen carefully. Put down newspaper and turn off the TV when your child talks to you. Don’t interrupt. • Show affection. Children need to feel your love for them.

26. Relationships Children at any age: • Ask feeling questions. Encourage your child to express their feelings. • Be aware of the climate at school. Is it warm and inviting? Is there both structure to keep children safe and freedom to grow? • Stand up for your children when concerns arise. Help them resolve conflict and find peaceful solutions to problems.

27. Relationships: For parents of Preschoolers • Create safe and peaceful places. Encourage play dates with peers, neighbors, family members and other safe people. • Children need to feel good about themselves. Help them build on their strengths and understand their limitations. • Praise what you child does well. For example, “Great Job! You did an awesome job!

28. Relationships: Families withElementary students • Create safe and peaceful places. Encourage your schools to require safe, respectful behavior. Offer to work together on this goal. • Children need to feel good about themselves. Help them build on their strengths and understand their limitations. • Praise what you child does well. For example, “Great! You finished your homework. Now you can go play”.

29. Relationships : Families withSecondary students • Be ready to talk. Be ready to listen when your teen talks. • Be involved in your teen’s life. Know what’s going on with his or her friends and interests. • Teens still need hugs. Teens need affection, but they are sensitive to what others think. They may not want the affection displayed in front of friends.

30. Group discussion onRelationships • What are some relational building activities in your family? • What are some of the challenges in developing relationships? • Love Languages and Listening skills- discuss

31. Modeling Children at any age: • Experience other cultures. • Share and explain your experiences, values and beliefs. • Every day show how learning is important and used in everyday life. • Find opportunities to be a leader in your community.

32. Modeling Children at any age: • Be involved in community service. • Handle difficult situations in constructive ways. • Positive parenting helps children succeed. • Admit when you are wrong. • Learn a language other than English.

33. Modeling: Families with Preschoolers • Behave the way you want your children to behave. Talk calmly, show concern for others and listen respectfully to your children. • Demonstrate the skill. Allow them to participate in simple activities with you; shopping, cooking, baking, folding laundry. • Solve problems step by step. Learn to use the productive and positive ways to work out problems in your relationships.

34. Modeling: Families with Elementary students • Behave the way you want your children to behave. Talk calmly, show concern for others and listen respectfully to your children. • Demonstrate the skill. You may need to teach your children how to study or do a single do a simple task before expecting them to do it. • Solve problems step by step. Learn to use the productive and positive ways to work out problems in your relationships.

35. Modeling: For parents of Secondary students • Point out the steps needed to complete assignments or household tasks. Sometimes teens need help with the steps so the assignment or task is not so overwhelming. • Talk about life’s lessons. Share with your teens what you have learned in life and ways in which education has helped you. Communicate your values about high-risk behavior such as drugs, drinking and early sexuality.

36. Group discussion onModeling • Am I my child’s role model? • Do I demonstrate behaviors that I want my child to emulate? • Am I being what my child needs me to be? AFFIRMATIONS • I can start today to develop a relationship with my child. • There is hope for my child.