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TRENDS AFFECTING SINGLE ADULT/YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY. A LOOK AT RECENT TRENDS AFFECTING 21st CENTURY ADULTS Dennis Franck, Director Single Adult/Young Adult Ministries Assemblies of God. 4 Reasons for Single Adult/Young Adult Ministries. Demographics demonstrate it
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TRENDS AFFECTING SINGLE ADULT/YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY A LOOK AT RECENT TRENDS AFFECTING 21st CENTURY ADULTS Dennis Franck, Director Single Adult/Young Adult Ministries Assemblies of God
4 Reasons for Single Adult/Young Adult Ministries • Demographics demonstrate it • People’s lives motivate it • People’s ministry potential validates it • Jesus’ life authenticates it
VALID REASONS FOR SINGLE ADULTAND YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY! • Demographics demonstrate it! • 44% of U.S. adults are single or single again(18+) • Why do most churches have a lower percentage? • Why are we not retaining them?
44 % OF ADULTS ARE SINGLE(AGE 18+) Never married 52.0 M 26.0% Divorced 20.5 M 11.0% Widowed 13.5 M7.0% 86.0 M 44.0% Separated 7.2 M 3.6% www.census.gov/prod/2001pubs/p20-537.pdf Living Together: Myths, Risks & Answers by Mike & Harriett McManus, Intro. page XVII.
Growth of Single-Person Households • 1900.......………….5% of all households • 1960….………….13% of all households • 2000.…………….26% of all households • Does not even include: • Single adults sharing an apartment/home • Single adults living in rest homes/other • Single Adult Ministry Journal-Issue 124, page 4 – U. S. Census Bureau 2001 • Single Adult Ministry Journal-Issue 124, page 4
UNMARRIED HOUSEHOLDS NOW OUTNUMBER MARRIED HOUSEHOLDS • Married households • 55.2 million…………………………..49. 8 percent • Unmarried households • 55.8 million ………………………….50. 2 percent • 14 million single women • 5 million single men • 36. 7 million single, “non family”- friends of same/opposite sex -Reported in 10/15/06 Yahoo News, Maxim Kniazkov U.S. CENSUS BUREAU - 2005 American Community Survey http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20061015/ts_alt_afp/afplifestyleusscociety_061015170214
Median Age at First Marriage MenWomen 2004 27.8 26.5 1990 26.1 23.9 1980 24.7 22.0 1970 23.2 20.8 1960 22.8 20.3 USA Today-July 18, 2005, 6 D-taken from the 2004 census bureau demographics
Single - Parent Family Step/Blended - Parent Family
Single - Parent Families • S P households make up 27. 3 % of all family households with children under 18 • 1 in 2 children born mid 90’s or later will live in a single parent family • 24 million children live in a home absent their father • 1 in 3 children is born to unmarried parents—(39 % in 2008) • 43% of teens do not live with both natural parents • Nuclear families (both original parents) - 24% of all families --Goter, Susan, Strategic Adult Ministry Journal, Issue 146, 12, 13 --Horn, Wade F., President of the National Fatherhood Initiative, Gaithersburg, Md --SAM Journal, Issue 144, p 7 and Issue 146, p 13
Divorce/Step/Blended Families • 8 YEARS: Average duration of 1st marriage ending in divorce • 6 YEARS: Average duration of 2nd marriage ending in divorce --American Blended Family Association --http://www.usabfa.org/Default.aspx?pageId=188238 • 23 M blended family/step-family households in U. S. • 2,100 new blended families formed daily in U. S. • 68% of blended family re-marriages fail within 6 years --Time Magazine, September 25, 2000 “Family” Barna Research Online, 1999
Divorce/Remarriage • 43 percent of first marriages divorce 1 • 60 percent of remarriages with children divorce 1 • 65 percent of remarriages with children from a • prior marriage divorce 1 • 65 percent of simple stepfamilies (1 partner with a child) • divorce 2 • 70 percent of complex stepfamilies (both partners • have children) divorce 2 • 1 January 9, 2006, Newsweek, “The ‘Familymoon’” • 2 In her book For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered, Dr. Hetherington specifies the divorce rate for step-couples to be “50 percent higher in remarriages with stepchildren” Specifically, then, the divorce rate is 65-70%. (p. 178).
VALID REASONS FOR SINGLE ADULTAND YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY! • People’s lives motivate it! • Many needs and issues of young adults/single adults are not being addressed from a biblical and unmarried perspective. • Where are they getting their information if not from the church?
Rearing kids alone Shared parenting Relating to my former spouse Sexuality and Singleness Financial issues as a single Peer Friendships Learning to forgive my ex Accepting Singleness Dating/dating again Divorce Recovery Healthy step-parenting Grief Recovery Learning to trust again Loneliness Singleness in a family-oriented church Career choice as a single Pre-Marital education Re-Marital education Blending families Relating to married adults as a single adult Adjusting to Widowhood UNIQUE INTERESTS/NEEDS OF SINGLE ADULTSWHERE IN THE CHURCH ARE THESE ADDRESSED?
VALID REASONS FOR SINGLE ADULT AND YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY! • People’s ministry potential validates it! • Consider the potential spiritual and personal impact of millions of young adults and single adults who are radical for Christ! • Jesus’ life authenticates it! • He was the greatest, most influential single adult who ever lived! • Teach/train young adults/single adults to live and minister like Him!
THE CHURCH MUST BROADEN ITS FOCUS TO INCLUDE NEW DEFINITIONS OF “FAMILY” • NUCLEAR - An original husband and wife living together and rearing their biological children • SINGLE-PARENT FAMILY - A never married, divorced, or widowed parent with their, or someone else’s children • STEP-PARENT FAMILY - A parent rearing his/her own biological children and marrying (hopefully) and living with another adult • SINGLE ADULT FAMILY – Two or more adults of either gender, living together
New definitions of family… • BLENDED FAMILY - Two adults and their own biological children from at least two previous families marrying (hopefully) and living together • GRANDPARENT FAMILY - One or more grandparents rearing their children’s children • EXPANDED FAMILY - Any of these family types taking in a child from the court and rearing it for a temporary period of time • SEPARATED FAMILY- One parent who is separated, but not legally divorced from his/her spouse, and is now rearing his/her own biological children
New definitions of family… • HOMOSEXUAL PARENT(S)/PARTNER(S) FAMILY- Two adults, one or both living in the homosexual lifestyle and rearing children (whether biological, adopted, step, foster ,in some states, or from artificial insemination) • HOMOSEXUAL/HETEROSEXUAL FAMILY - These adults stay married because they “emotionally love each other” and may have children from the same sources as family number 9. This family is more likely to occur in conservative churches where the spouse would be economically harmed by coming out.
IMPORTANCE OF UNDERSTANDING TRENDS • Times change SAM/YAM evolving… -Ministry more complex than 25 years ago -SAM/YAM still new in many areas • Determine potential need • Determine potential directions in ministry
TRENDS MAY VARY • Area of the country-cultural differences • Degree of development of SAM/YAM • Leadership understanding and ministry styles
TRENDS IN THREE AREAS Some trends overlap into two or three areas… • Personal-Attitudes/perspectives/lifestyles OF single adults • Leadership-Attitudes/perspectives TOWARDS single adults • Ministry-Attitudes/perspectives/programs TO/WITH single adults
PERSONAL TRENDS • Growing awareness of aging single adults • 55 yr + Groups • 13.5 M Widowed • Realization I may never marry/remarry • Growing poverty of single-again women • 60% Single-parent-females below poverty level • After divorce: Male- Income usually increases Female- Income usually decreases
PERSONAL TRENDS C. Growing/Continuing bias in fundamentalist circles toward unmarried adults • Churches desiring married staff still norm • I Cor. 7: 32-37-An unmarried person does not have the responsibility and anxiety of caring for a spouse! • Singleness better for ministry… • Assumption that marriage as always best • Evangelical Church in U. S.-Marriage and family-focused • Not understanding/empathetic of older unmarried person
PERSONAL TRENDS • Continued growth in cohabitation • Half of 35-40 yr olds have cohabitated • 1960-2000-1150 % increase in unmarried couple households! ….439,000-5.5 Million couples…11million people • 1990-2000-Unmarried couple households increased 71% • 25% of unmarried women ages 25-39 are living with a partner • Half of all marriages today preceded by cohabitation-only 10% in 1965 • 75% of children born to cohabiting parents will see their parents split up before they are age 16 • Half of currently married stepfamilies with children began with cohabitation
Reasons Given for Cohabitation • Anti-marriage sentiments -Lack of stigma • Avoidance -Pressure from partner • Companionship -Providing a parent • Convenience -Romance Rebellion/Independence -Sex • Conformity to social pressure -Various rationalizations • Compatibility discovery • Economics • Expectations for marriage • Escape • Fear of commitment • Fear of rejection • Lack of understanding real love
Some statistics… • 1960: half a million couples living together • 2000: 5.5 million couples living together • About 25% of unmarried women ages 25-39 are living with a partner • About half of all first marriages are preceded by cohabitation • “No Marriage, No Ring, No Problem” www.singles.ag.org - single living/personal issues
PERSONAL TRENDS • Never-married issues becoming more pronounced • Potential life without companion • Single adults’ parental desires • Considering adoption • Considering artificial insemination • Considering invitro • Parental Expectations/marriage hopes • Parents wanting grandchildren
PERSONAL TRENDS G. Step-family issues more prominent/pronounced • Different discipline styles and practices • Different spiritual values and practices • Different financial values and practices • Different recreational values and practices • Different communication values and practices • Relationships between children can be an issue • www.Ifre.com
PERSONAL TRENDS H.Church rage/frustration • Intolerance of individuals concerning • Worship styles • Priority of ministries • Counseling issues • Beliefs and practices • Teaching/preaching styles • Church doctrines
PERSONAL TRENDS I. Continued de-emphasis of denominational labels • Lack of loyalty to a denomination • Lack of loyalty to a church • Indifference concerning affiliation of church • Desire to be part of a non-denominational church
PERSONAL TRENDS J. Women dating younger men – no stigma • In survey, almost 1/3 of unmarried women ages 40-60 who date are going out with younger men • Among men, 66% said they were dating younger women • Top reason for dating was fun/companionship • Only 10% of men and 7% of women listed marriage as No. 1 goal – different mindset from the past The Kansas City Star, 9/29/03, page A3
LEADERSHIP TRENDS • Credibility issues of leaders • Desiring competence/skill • Desiring spiritual maturity • Desiring vulnerability and transparency B. Crucial need to cast vision • Need and desire of SAM group for it • Responsibility of leader and leadership team C. Move from “official leadership” to gifted leadership • Hiring from within the church • Greater desire for passion than training/education • Obtaining education while on the job
LEADERSHIP TRENDS D. Large church making SA ministry a priority again • Peak of SAM growth between 1980-1992-Decline till • Seeing growing numbers of single adults in society • Leaders experiencing singleness in their family • Becoming familiar with single adults • Seeing reducing numbers of nuclear families • Realizing single adults as resource of talent and creativity
Leadership Trends E. Mid and large churches making YA ministry a priority -Realizing loss of adults 18-30 yrs old • Post high school • Post college • Not connecting to the larger body • Establishing innovative ministries • Need help with transitional issues of life
Dealing With Quarter-Life Crisis Issues (18-28 yrs) • Establishing independence from parents • Career decisions • Continue education • Learning to manage finances • Housing concerns • Dealing with singleness issues • Establishing healthy relationships-males/females • Marriage concerns • Desires to have children
Leadership Trends F. Development of leadership training realized • Leaders realizing need for training • People wanting training • Continual need for reproducing leaders • Lay/volunteer leaders leading the training
MINISTRY TRENDS • Stabilizing of specific SAM/YAM groups • Age groups • Need groups B. Divorce Care held outside the church • Apartment common rooms • Hotel meeting rooms • Neutral locations-YMCA-Service clubs-Bank rooms C.Teaching on spiritual and personal issues • Need for both
MINISTRY TRENDS D.Single adults setting the pace for short-term missions trips and events • One – two week trips • Three –12 month trips • Evangelism, Construction, Medical, Children, Youth, Adult ministry E. Establishing small group experiences out of the larger group
MINISTRY TRENDS F.Growing understanding of need for young adult ministry (18-35 yrs) • Generation X- Born ’65-’78 • Generation Y- Born ’78-’94 G. Challenge of transitioning a young adult to single adult ministry H. SAM/YAM still new in some areas of the country