Six Styles of Love

1. Six Styles of Love Eros Ludus Storge Mania Agape Pragma

2. Eros (erotic)—passionate, romantic love • Erotic lovers fall in love early in a relationship • Love is very intense and passionate • The erotic lover wants to share everything with and know everything about the loved one • The erotic lover thinks of his/her partner in an idealized manner • The erotic lover’s reaction to criticism from his/her partner is one of hurt and intense pain • The erotic lovers reaction to separation from the partner is agony and despair

3. Ludus (ludic)—love as a game • Ludics have a very self-oriented approach to love • Ludics minimize dependency and commitment • They rarely or never become overly involved with one partner and often have more than on partner at a time • They don’t reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their partner, especially if they think they can gain some kind of advantage over their partner • Usually want sex (plenty of it) for pleasure • Reaction to criticism from the partner is indifference • Reaction to separation form the partner is immediate replacement

4. Storge (storgic)—love as friendship or companionship • Storge love develops slowly • It grows out of mutual understanding, rapport, respect, companionship, sharing, and concern • It is not characterized by high levels of ecstasy and excitement (as is eros), but is a solid, stable, enduring love • Reaction to criticism from partner—give and take, compromise, constructive problem solving • Reaction to separation—feelings of emptiness and loss

5. Mania (manic)—is obsessive, jealous, and addictive • Manic lovers are obsessive, jealous, irrational, possessive, and consumed by thoughts of their lovers • They need constant attention, affection, and togetherness • Love is very intense • They frequently put love to the test for the sake of reassurance • Their reaction to criticism from partner—defensiveness, hypersensitivity, and sometimes violence • Their reaction to separation—instant panic

6. Agage (agapic)—kind, unselfish love • Agape love is altruistic • The agapic lover gets more pleasure from giving in a relationship than from receiving • The apapic lover is very forgiving, patient, understanding, loyal, and willing to make sacrifices for his/her partner • Their reaction to criticism form the partner—willingness to change or compromise • Their reaction to separation from the partner—sense of loss and emptiness

7. Pragma—is a very pragmatic or practical approach to love • It is very logical and realistic • Pragmatic lovers are self-oriented • Their reaction to criticism from the partner—defensive, analytical