Improving Family Communication

1. Improving Family Communication

2. Start with your communication • Practice your listening skills • Become more aware of how you send messages • Are you too vague? • Are you assuming the receiver has knowledge they may not have • Are you using the wrong channel for the message? • Are you asking for feedback

3. Improving Family Communication • Take time to explain • Does the next generation know your wants & desires for the farm and other assets? • Off-farm heirs might not understand today’s farm language • Estate planning comes with its own set of terms – does everyone understand what is being said

4. Improving Family Communication • Take time to explain • Does the next generation know your wants & desires for the farm and other assets? • Off-farm heirs might not understand today’s farm language • Estate planning comes with its own set of terms – does everyone understand what is being said

5. Improving Family Communication • Learn about personalities and their communication styles • Participate in a communication workshop • Hold a farm based Real Colors Workshop • Spend some time reading feedback and body language of others

6. Hold Family Business Meetings • Begin holding regular family business meetings • Work out an agreement to allow for consistent and productive meetings

7. Decide who are the “right” people to attend Chose a person to run the meetings Distribute an agenda in advance Meet in a neutral place Begin and end meetings on time Tips for Successful Family Business Meetings

8. Stick to the agenda Avoid socializing during the meeting Expect recorder/secretary to distribute minutes soon after meeting Minimize reconsideration of actions taken at last meeting Evaluate the effectiveness of your meetings at least once each year Tips for Successful Family Business Meetings

9. You may wish to… • Incorporate an outside facilitator • Help make sure everyone understands what is being said • Make sure everyone has a chance to share their input • Keep the conversation flowing in a positive direction

10. General Communication Tips • Small agreements build rapport and momentum • Questions are powerful language tools • Express more appreciation & affirmation • Use “I” statements and limit “you” statements

11. Help each other by: • Establish a home independent of your parents • Be consistent in your mood, humor, temperament and cheerfulness • Admit your mistakes • Ask about what others feel and think • Pay attention to non-verbal cues

12. Help each other by: • Encouraging friendly, open conversation • Invite and respect differing viewpoints • Don’t make assumptions—ask • Rephrase to be sure you understand • If you have reservations, voice them respectfully

13. Cautions • Problems that are bigger than communication • Get over past hurts. This won’t go away after Mom and Dad go, it will only get worse • No one can get everything they want • Not even possible to get everything you think you “must” have • Must often overcome history of failed meetings

14. The Good News! • Everyone of us can become a better communicator • Every family business can learn to have successful business meetings • Hard work and an open mind earn big rewards

15. How would your communication change if you had you had 3 months to live?

16. Don’t assume you will have time or feel well enough to complete your “bucket” list What knowledge has not been transferred? Don’t leave the burden of making decisions to the surviving spouse or next generation Communicate! Be open about your wishes No time like today to start--What regrets can you eliminate today? Talk to your kids and spouse! Personal Observations