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What about Dads?. Joseph Anderson & John Hoffman. What about Dads?. Participants will listen to and engage in a dialogue with two fathers about strategies to support father involvement and their unique perspectives on what inclusion has meant for their families--its rewards,
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What about Dads? Joseph Anderson & John Hoffman
What about Dads? • Participants will listen to and engage in a dialogue with two fathers about strategies to support father • involvement and their unique perspectives on what inclusion has meant for their families--its rewards, • challenges and hopes within the early intervention system, home and community. • Plus an opportunity to talk about the cultural aspects of recognizing the importance of fathers and the roles that they play within the family structure
Ground Rules Normal is only a cycle on a washing machine
“The Quotable Dad” • On Becoming a Father If you ever become a father, I think the strangest and strongest sensation of your life will be hearing for the first time the thin cry of your child. -LAFCADIO HEARN-
A Hard Profession • Like any father, I have moments when I wonder whether I belong to the children or they belong to me. -Bob Hope • Insanity is hereditary; you can get it from your children. -Sam Levenson-
Roles of Fathers • Biological Fathers - • Traditional Nuclear Family. • Custodial Father • Non Custodial Father - • Divorced. Has visitation rights or joint custody • Father Figure - • Grandparents, step fathers, extended family friends, relatives • Primary role model or live in boyfriend • Incarcerated Father - Imprisonment • ????????
Our Stories • The beginning • Birth’s and Diagnosis • Medical response to our families (positive/negative) • What was helpful or not. • Expectations • Obstacles
The Love of a Father and Son.. Partnership
What about Natural Environments • Natural Learning Opportunities • Participation in families everyday activities, places and relationships • IFSP as an going FAMILY document • Integrated supports and services
Location Activity Opportunities Adapted from Carol Trivette 1998
Location Activity Opportunity What is the Natural Learning Opportunity?
Family Centered supports and services • All people need support and encouragement. • All families have hopes, dreams and wishes for their children. • All people have different but equally important skills, abilities and knowledge (strengths). • Families are resourceful, but all families do not have equal access to resources. • Families should be assisted in ways that help them maintain their dignity and hope. • Families should be equal partners in the relationships with service providers. • Providers work for families Lynda Cook Pletcher and Sue McBride 1998
Barriers/Stereotypes of Fathers • Men are not sensitive to issues of Children. • Majority of people working in the Early Childhood field are women. • Poverty or working class mentality ( Looking at what roles the father plays -Nature vs. Nurture) • Not believing in the importance of reaching out to the opposite sex. • Men don’t take initiatives in their child/children's care.Dads are never available • Moms are more accessible.
Iceberg Concept • Just as nine-tenths of an iceberg is out of sight, so is nine-tenths of culture out of conscious awareness. • The out-of-awareness part of culture has been termed “deep culture”
An Iceberg Concept of Culture dressage race/ethnicity gender language eye behavior facial expressions body language sense of self notions of modesty concept of cleanliness emotional response patterns rules for social interaction child rearing practices decision-making processes approaches to problem solving concept of justice value individual vs. group perceptions of mental health, health, illness, disability patterns of superior and subordinate roles roles in relation to status by age, gender class and much more… Developed by National Center for Cultural Competence, 2002 Adapted by the NCCC
Reframing • Restating a problem in a more positive way in order to make the problem see more manageable. A first step in problem solving…
Reframing Activity • In your small group complete the Cultural Reframing Exercise handout. 10 minutes
Dads today spend 50 percent more time with their children -- 2.7 hours a day -- than they did 25 years ago, but they are working just as much, according to a 2004 study by the Families and Work Institute.
When asked the No. 1 element essential to a balanced life, 84 percent of men said it is spending time with family, according to a Best Life magazine poll.
Dads born after the baby boom are trying to achieve a better balance between the demands of the workplace and raising a family. It's a balance women have been trying to strike for decades.
But even with more families juggling two careers, the trend of men taking leave or reducing hours has been slow to catch on, experts said, since most employers do not offer paid paternity leave. And some men still fear compromising their careers by taking the time, or simply can't afford to.
Fathers of disabled children are fathers first, and fathers of a disabled child second. Many of the issues faced by fathers of disabled children are the same as fathers of non-disabled children • Fathers and mothers of disabled children have many of the same needs and concerns, but there can also be real differences in how they respond to their child's condition, what they do to cope, and what they find helpful
Fathers tend to rely heavily on their partners for emotional support • Fathers can be greatly affected emotionally by a child's disability impairment or illness • Fathers want information about their child's condition and development, what can be done to help, and what services are available to help their child and the family as a whole
Fathers want someone to talk to from outside the family about their worries and concerns, but are not very good at seeking for this type of help or support. They also prefer support groups made-up of men only because they feel more able to be open in such an environment • The needs of fathers can be missed by services, which tend to focus on support for the child and mother • Going to work is a common coping strategy of fathers and important for identity and self-esteem. Fathers want flexibility from employers and services so that they can respond to the needs of their children, attend appointments and be involved in the decisions and care relating to their child
Fathers' stress may be directly related less to their child's behavior than the stress felt by mothers • Fathers can also experience less stress, anxiety and depression than mothers, probably because mothers take on the majority of the child care and everyday related tasks
Fathers also tend to be less involved and have more limited interaction with their disabled than their non-disabled children, partly because they tend to be more involved in physical activities • Unlike mothers, fathers tend to seek support almost entirely from their partner or spouse rather than friends or family
Fathers themselves are also heterogeneous as a group • they can have very different experiences of fatherhood • their child's disability • their own needs and what they find helpful
Mothers and fathers therefore have both shared and individual needs. These differences need to be taken into account when devising or providing support for families with disabled or chronically ill children.
Strategery • Increase public awareness about the importance of fatherhood through sharing research-based information • Restructure welfare policies that punish marriage and responsible fatherhood • Encourage the establishment of legal paternity at birth
More Strategery • Provide job training and economic development opportunities to fathers who are motivated but not able to pay child support due to employment challenges • Provide parenting education for dads of all ages, and develop creative ways for promoting special time for fathers and children to spend together.
Strategies • Implement and encourage use of father-friendly employment practices at work. These include childcare facilities where fathers work, parental leave for child birth, adoption, time off for school functions and child medical care, and use of flex-time, job sharing and telecommuting work options.
Strategies • Make sure that school course work and youth activities provide boys, as well as girls, with opportunities to develop the knowledge, skills and motivation to become a good parent. • It makes good sense to review all policies from the standpoint of how they affect parents' relationships with their children -- particularly at a time when work demands and time pressure can make family connections especially fragile.
The Community of Man “All “men/women” are interdependent. Every nation is an heir of a vast treasury of ideas and labor to which both the living and the dead of all nations have contributed. Whether we realize it or not, each of us lives eternally ‘in the red.’ We are everlasting debtors to known and unknown men and women. When we arise in the morning, we go to the bathroom where we reach for a sponge which is provided for us by a Pacific islander. We reach for soap that is created for us by a European. Then at the table we drank coffee which is provided for us by a South American, or tea by a Chinese, or cocoa by a West African. Before we leave for our jobs we are already beholden to more than half of the world.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
Father’s Resources • http://www.pacer.org/parent/php/PHP-c74.pdf • Fathers are important • http://www.pacer.org/mpc/pdf/mpc-15.pdf • Parent Involvement is the Key • http://www.pacer.org/mpc/pdf/mpc-57.pdf • Parent Tips for Reading Readiness • http://www.pacer.org/parent/php/PHP-c31.pdf • Person first language • http://www.pacer.org/parent/php/PHP-c96.pdf • Parents Key to success in the parent/school partnership • http://www.pacer.org/parent/php/PHP-c98.pdf • Increasing Parent involvement on Boards • http://www.pacer.org/mpc/pdf/mpc-45.pdf • Family Teacher Partnerships
Father’s Resources • http://www.fathersnetwork.org/Our mission is to celebrate and support fathers and families raising children with special health care needs and developmental disabilities. • http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/index.shtml The Department of Health and Human Services has developed a special initiative to support and strengthen the roles of fathers in families.
For further information • Joseph Anderson (765) 254-9990 anderson2280@comcast.net • John Hoffman (952) 838-1364Jhoffman@pacer.org www.pacer.org