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REAL DADS Get Them Ready. Ephesians 6:4 Colossians 3:21. Ephesians 6:4. And fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Dangers to Avoid: Anger. “Don't stir up anger in your children”
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REAL DADS Get Them Ready Ephesians 6:4 Colossians 3:21
Ephesians 6:4 • And fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Dangers to Avoid: Anger • “Don't stir up anger in your children” • Amp: “Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger” • Weymouth: “Do not irritate your children”
Four Approaches to Parenting • Autocratic: You’ll do it my way because I said so • Permissive: You can do anything you want • Neglectful: I don’t really care what you do • Relational: I’m listening… I care… I want to understand… We’ll do it this way this time because… Josh McDowell, The Father Connection
Ways to exasperate your children: • Unclear Expectations • Demands beyond their ability • Unexpected Anger • Undue Severity • Partiality • Inconsistent Discipline
Dangers to Avoid: Discouragement • Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won't become discouraged.” • Literally, to take the spirit out of
Ways children are discouraged: • Continual fault finding • Ridiculing them as persons • High on demands; low on praise • High on control; low on support • Cursing at them • “You are just like your father” • “Why can’t you be more like __ ?”
Build Up to Maturity • “Bring them up” • Weymouth: “Bring them up tenderly” • Literally: “To nourish up to maturity”
Train and Discipline • “Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” • Amp: “Training and discipline” • The whole training and education of children to cultivate their minds and morals • Whatever cultivates the soul, esp. to correct mistakes and curb passions.
Training Objectives • Self-Control • Proverbs 25:28 “A person without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.” • Respect • Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” • Foolishness: • 1) of one who despises wisdom • 2) of one who mocks when guilty • 3) of one who is quarrelsome
Cooperation vs. Self-centered • Ability to stand alone • Psalms 144:1 “Blessed be the LORD my Rock, Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle” • To establish “normal” • What you grow up with is what you think is normal. • Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
The Ultimate Goal of Parenting • The ultimate goal of parenting is to transfer control of civilization to the next generation. -Dave Simmons, Dad, The Family Mentor
Instruct and Counsel • “Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” • Amp: “Counsel and admonition of the Lord” • Vincent: “Training by word of mouth” • Hodge: “To put in mind”
Instruct and Counsel • Deuteronomy 6:7, NLT “Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away on a journey, when you are lying down and when you are getting up again.”
Instruct and Counsel • Faith – The ability to trust God • Doctrine – The truth about God • Understanding – The ability to relate the principles of Scripture to the situations of life • Discernment – The ability to distinguish good from evil, truth from error, and evil people from good