Working with Schools on Teen Dating Violence: Promoting Safe and Healthy Relationships

1. Working with Schools on Teen Dating Violence: Promoting Safe and Healthy Relationships Rick Gipprich, Jr. - rgipprich@rapecrisis.com The Rape Crisis Center – San Antonio, Texas

2. Why Are We Here? • To promote collaborations between schools and the community. • To help you facilitate dialogue about this issue that educates youth and adults and calls you to action. • To understand the issue and prevalence of Teen Dating Violence. • To discuss ways to implement Prevention Strategies on campuses and in the community (HB 121).

3. National Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Week • In 2006, Governor Rick Perry declared the first week of February as National Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Week. • The kickoff was in Austin, but filtered through to the entire state. • Last year three San Antonio school districts participated. The goal of course is to have more. • Next year, February 2nd – 6th, is deemed Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Week

4. How Do I Get My Foot In The Door? Some of the first things to ask yourself are... • What does the education system look like in my community? • How does it work? • What are their needs? • What relationships have I already built? • What are my funding requirements?

5. Getting In & Staying In... • Answering the previous questions is the key to presenting and solidifying a working relationship with schools. • Start at the top, and work your way down. • Try to meet face to face. It helps make a connection. • MOUs are must haves!! • They are great way to spell out your intent and to hold each other accountable! • They also let you know who is responsible for what. • MOUs aren’t just about prevention education. Make sure you include how you are going to handle crisis intervention & counseling.

6. Using A Good Approach • Make sure your curricula & your messages are consistent, and emphasize how well-trained and knowledgeable your center is on the issues. • Offer Sexual Violence Workshops for Faculty & Staff, Health Advisory Boards, & Superintendents first as a way for them to preview the material being given to the students. Also allow them to give you feedback. • Make sure your programs can be tailor-made to fit a broad range of subjects. • Math, English, Criminal Justice, Co-op, etc. • Primary Prevention vs. Risk Reduction. • Make sure that the focus incorporates prevention strategies and awareness.

7. A Prevention Approach However you decide to incorporate them, make sure that risk and protective factors for sexual and physical violence are addressed. • It helps administration understand the root causes for certain behaviors or climates in their schools and in the lives of their students at home. • It also helps in creating solutions that could create safer environments and healthier communities.

8. An Awareness Approach Remember that not everyone knows the facts about issues like dating violence among teens. Make sure they are educated on the prevalence of the problem. • This is a perfect opportunity to educate on the warning signs of abuse & abusive behavior, the impact on victims, and the resources available to those affected. • If a school owns the issue, then the community does to! Everyone responds!

9. How Does This Help? • By providing effective messages for youth, parents, caregivers, and teachers that encourage them to treat each other with respect. • By creating opportunities for youth and the community to learn about positive behaviors. • By increasing youth’s ability to recognize and prevent unhealthy and violent relationships • By promoting ways for a variety of audiences to get information and other tools to prevent dating abuse and promote healthy relationships

10. It’s all about the message! What kind of message are we sending?

11. Who’s Responsibility Is It? Do we tolerate the idea that violence is acceptable? Give some examples about what we say to or show our kids that could possibly support some of the risk factors for sexual and physical violence What are doing to make it safer?

12. Lets start with the positive stuff... • Any relationship that people have in their early and late teens will affect the relationships they have later in life. • The lessons we learn about respect, healthy vs. unhealthy relationships, and what feels right or wrong, will carry over into future relationships. • It is extremely important for us to recognize what a healthy relationship is.

13. The Prevalence of Dating Violence • Approximately 1 in 5 high school girls reported being physically or sexually abused by a dating partner. • Approximately 1 in 3 girls, and 1 in 7 boys will be sexually abused at least once before their 18th birthday. • As many as 45% to 66% of youth in violent relationships are both perpetrators and victims • Dating violence occurs most frequently in schools, with about 50% occurringin the front of other people, including adults. • Almost 60% of adolescent males believe that rape is acceptable under certain circumstances. • Acceptance of dating abuse among friends is one of the strongest links to future involvement in dating abuse. • It does not discriminate.

14. Addressing the Issue of Dating Violence – HB 121 Implementation • Effective September 2007, the Texas Legislature has passed, and Governor Perry has signed, an act requiring each school district in Texas to adopt and implement a dating violence policy. • Each school district’s dating violence policy must: • include a definition of dating violence • address safety planning • include compliance of protective orders • include school-based alternatives to protective orders • address counseling for affected students • address training for teachers and administrators • include awareness education for students and parents

15. The Definition of Dating Violence Texas Family Code – 71.0021: • Teen Dating Violence is defined as the intentional use of physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse by a person to harm, threaten, intimidate, or control another person in a dating relationship, as defined by section 71.0021, Texas Family Code. • Teen Dating violence is a pattern of coercive behavior that one partner exerts over the other for the purpose of establishing and maintaining power and control.

16. Dating Violence Can Be... • PHYSICAL - Pinching, shoving, slapping, grabbing, intimidating (blocking doors, throwing objects, breaking or damaging possessions, using weapons) • SEXUAL - Unwanted touching, forced sexual activities, RAPE, pressure or coercion to have sex, threats of finding someone who will do what he or she wants sexually • VERBAL/EMOTIONAL - Put-downs, insults, rumors, threats, possessiveness, mood swings, humiliation, accusations, dictating what one wears, dictating who one hangs out with, requires partner to check in constantly.

17. Addressing Safety Planning • A Safety Plan is a tool used to assess risk and identify actions to increase safety for victims. • Includes important telephone numbers including law enforcement, helpline, community organizations, etc. • Identifies supportive peers and adults at home and school • Outlines specific strategies for avoiding the abuser, and getting help when needed • Model policy at www.texasadvocacyproject.org/documents.php

18. Compliance of Protective Orders • Obtain copy of protective order • Communicate information to appropriate school staff to ensure enforcement of order at school • Meet separately with victim and offender to obtain agreement on terms of protective order and how it will be enforced on campus • Make changes as needed to schedules, classes, lunch times, etc. • Identify supportive adults on campus for both students

19. School-based Alternatives to Protective Orders • Develop a system for students to report incidents and threats to administration (Complaint forms or Incident Reports). • Develop an investigation protocol or checklist for administrators. • Develop a school-based stay away agreement to require offenders to avoid victims (and vice versa) or be subject to additional consequences.

20. Counseling for Affected Students • Provide school counselors with training, resources, and teen dating violence prevention materials. • Let students know that they can talk to the counselors about dating and relationships. • Utilize local resources such as domestic violence and sexual assault centers.

21. Training Teachers & Administrators • Train school staff on teen dating violence and the new policy. • Offer guest speakers from your agency. • Utilize resources in the TX toolkit including videos for adult audiences, like those offered through the Choose Respect Initiative • Present materials such as Risk Assessment and Safety Plan, Complaint Form, Investigation Protocol and School-based Stay Away Agreement.

22. Prevention & Awareness Education for Students & Parents • Use free resources and toolkits. • Collaborate with your local domestic violence or sexual assault center on available awareness and prevention education programs. • Integrate prevention materials into curriculum and school events. • Develop youth leaders to become role models and peer educators.

23. Remember...It All Comes Back To The Message! • We have choices about the kinds of relationships we want to have with anyone, especially with a boyfriend or girlfriend. • We can learn to have healthy relationships and be loved and treated well by someone we care about. • When we give respect to others, they give it back. • They feel good about themselves and the relationship. • Choose respect, it works. RESPECT. GIVE IT. GET IT.

24. The Meaning of RESPECT People who respect each other... • Speak honestly and freely with each other • Make decisions together • Trust and support each other • Value each other’s independence and individuality • Affirm each other • Encourage each other to spend time with family and friends.

25. What am I really looking for in a partner? • Knowing what you want in a partner is extremely important. • There is nothing wrong with telling yourself that being with someone that possesses certain qualities is important as well. • Think about what your limits are in a relationship. What are you willing to put up with? Are boundaries and respect important to you? • And finally…ask yourself this, “Do I want someone to complete me? Or do I want someone to compliment me?” It’s a much happier place when we are able to walk side-by-side with the people that we care about, and not in front of them or behind them. But if walking ahead or behind someone ever happens, make sure you stop and slow down. Wait for them to catch up. They will respect you so much more for it.

26. Continuum of Violence • Thoughts, Attitudes • Rumors, Teasing • Name-calling • Stalking • Physical or Verbal Harassment • Sexual Assault/Rape • MURDER!!

27. “We are standing on the banks of the river rescuing people who are drowning. We have not gone to the head of the river to keep them from falling in.” - Gloria Steinem

28. Resources • The Rape Crisis Center for Children and Adults – San Antonio www.rapecrisis.com • Texas Association Against Sexual Assault – Austin www.taasa.org www.taasa.org/star • Texas Advocacy Project: Teen Justice Initiative – Austin www.texasadvocacyproject.org • Texas Council on Family Violence Red Flags Project – Austin www.knowtheredflags.com www.tcfv.org • National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center www.safeyouth.org • Choose Respect, Centers for Disease Control and Preventionwww.chooserespect.org • The Expect Respect Program Manual – Austin SafePlace www.austin-safeplace.org • RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) www.rainn.org