Working with Perpetrators of Domestic Violence

1. Working with Perpetrators of Domestic Violence Richard M. Tolman, Ph.D. University of Michigan School of Social Work

2. Violence against women and girls continues unabated in every continent, country and culture. It takes a devastating toll on women’s lives, on their families and on society as a whole. – United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

3. "We light this candle in recognition, reflection, memory, and honor of all battered women and children, especially those who have been murdered bytheir batterers."Light candle. "We invite any reflections or dedications you wish to share." Opening from the Alternatives To Domestic Aggression Program groups, Michigan, USA

4. For men to research on the topic of violence is demanding….it demands a personal and political re-evaluation, a process of consciousness raising. ….In particular we need to be ready to recognize the multiple ways in which men can re-establish forms of power, dominance and violence, even when working against violence. Jeff Hearn, 1993. Researching Men and Researching Men’s Violences.

5. TRENDS • In 1977 EMERGE began to provide services for batterers • Since then thousands of programs established services batterers

6. NIMH Committee on Family Violence (1992): "acts that are physically and emotionally harmful or that carry the potential to cause physical harm...(and) may also include sexual coercion or assaults, physical intimidation, threats to kill or to harm, restraint of normal activities or freedom, and denial of access to resources."

7. American Psychological Association (Koss et al., 1994): "physical, visual, verbal, or sexual acts that are experienced by a woman or a girl as a threat, invasion, or assault and that have the effect of hurting her or degrading her and/or taking away her ability to control contact (intimate or otherwise) with another individual."

8. DAIP Power & Control Wheel • from: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project 206 West Fourth Street Duluth, Minnesota 55806 • See handout

10. TRENDS • Courts mandate large numbers of batterers to receive treatment as a result of increased arrest and prosecution of batterers. • Practitioners in many settings are identifying batterers and need strategies for effective intervention.

11. Research on Batterer Intervention Programs (BIPs) BIPs have a modest but positive impact on ending violence, with some studies showing them to have a much larger impact on participants when compared to men not participating.

12. Research, cont. BIPs seem to help the majority of men end their violence over a period of time.

13. Effective Components It is not yet clear what BIP-specific components help create these changes.

14. How to motivate? BIPs incorporating motivational enhancement components may help more men change.

15. Typologies Typologies of men based on personality traits and variation among men based on racial/ethnic group membership do not appear to predict different outcomes.

16. Coordinated Community Response Men who participate in BIPs that are part of coordinated responses with the criminal justice system achieve better outcomes.

17. Individual Pathology • Evidence of overrepresentation of personality disorders • Diversity of diagnoses limits pathology as an explanation • Many batterers without significant pathology

18. Evidence of some relevant individual factors • High need for power • Poor verbal and communication skills • Emotional constriction • History of observing or being abused as a child • Drug and alcohol abuse • Intimacy anxieties

19. Social Learning Theory • Abusive behavior learned • Modeling processes prominent • External control factors: • reward • punishment • Self-regulatory mechanisms • Self-punishment • Attributions

20. Psychodynamic • Emphasize attachment relationships • Troubled relationship with mother, as well as abusive father • Results in intimacy problems, difficulties in affective regulation, interpretive systems which increase sensitivity to threats • Post-traumatic symptoms

21. Feminist Theories • Emphasizes role of patriarchal social structure in shaping men’s violent behavior • Views violence as outgrowth of men’s attempts to control • Gender roles important factors in determining behavior

22. Assumptions on Violence • Violence is learned • through direct experience (victimization) • through observation • Power and control are central • Changing behavior is possible • involves resocialization or relearning

23. 12-52 weeks Once/twice a week Psycho-educational Continuum of service contexts 5 to 15 men Open or closed groups Male and/or female group leaders Group Programs

24. Practice Models Practice with men who batter currently draws extensively upon several models: • Profeminist • cognitive-behavioral • Often combined with profeminist • Stand alone anger management controversial • Psychodynamic • formulations which emphasize the role of early experiences of victimization and attachment problems of batterers are drawing increasing attention. • Family systems • Conjoint intervention controversial

25. Practice Models-Cautions • The use of conjoint family models with batterers remains controversial due to fears of safety for victims in conjoint sessions. • Conjoint intervention may explicitly or implicitly suggest that victims share responsibility for the violence.

26. Practice Models-Challenges • Practitioners struggle with caring for their clients and ensuring their clients are held accountable for their abusive behavior. • Need to actively establish and maintain collaborative relationships with other partners in coordinated community responses to effectively balance these responsibilities.

27. Group Issues • Level of structure • Negative bonding • Co-Leadership • Voluntariness

28. It was an accident I blew up I didn’t control my temper She dissed me I went off the edge I fly off the handle It caught me off guard It happened in the heat of the moment I went insane I’m justified in hitting her I didn’t know better I lost control It was a mistake It came out of nowhere ABC’s of Denial

29. It just came out She provoked me I have a quick temper It’s a reflex I snapped I wasn’t thinking straight I was up all night My verbal turned to physical That’s just the way I am I ran out of Xanex I yelled before I knew what I was doing I just zipped ABC’s of Denial Domestic Violence Institute of Michigan

30. Categories of “Denial” • Minimization • Discounting the effects of an assault or abusive behavior • Denial • Stating or indicating that what happened didn’t happen • Blame • Shifting responsibility for an abusive behavior onto something or someone else from: Pence and Paymar (1993), pg. 126

31. Minimization “I hardly touched her” “She bruises easily” “I haven’t hit her in months, and she still acts like I’m going to hit her” “All I did was throw something, not even at her” “I wouldn’t really hurt her” from: Pence and Paymar (1993), pg. 127

32. Denial • I was trying to grab her and she fell • I was acting in self-defense • The court only listened to her side • from: Pence and Paymar (1993), pg. 127

33. Blame “I was drunk” “She just wouldn’t stop” “She knows what will happen when she acts that way” “Her mother was always trying to cause trouble between us” “The shelter talked her into getting a protection order” from: Pence and Paymar (1993), pg. 127

34. Neutralizing Self-Statments • Moral justification • Palliative comparison • Displacement of responsibility • Dehumanizing the victim • Attribution of blame to victim • Minimization/selective memory

35. Confrontation Techniques • “I am really worried about you” • Noting feelings, affect • Power paradox-”She really is in control of you” • for externalizing • Where does that power come from • for justification • Emphasize costs

36. Confrontation Techniques • Questioning • for confusion, minimization • Emphasizing elements of control • for “I just lost it” • “That makes you really dangerous” • “What would it mean if it were true” • for not remembering, or saying partner is lying

37. Engagement • Hate the behavior, care about the person • Task is to make participation voluntary • Invitations to accountability • Finding self-interest, part that doesn’t like the behavior or its consequences • Set limits without being punitive • Care without colluding

38. Increasing engagement • Consider stages of change • Keep confrontation respectful and non-hostile • Increase court follow-through • Focus on childhood experiences and fatherhood • Develop competence engaging abusers from diverse backgrounds

39. Altering Awareness • Awareness of cues • Physical • Situational • Emotional • Cognitive • Mental imagery • Plan alternative actions

40. Situations holidays late at night Emotions frustrated fearful Physical changes sweating stomach in knots Red flag words Words prior to escalation Negative self-talk I hate this crap I’ll show her See handout Cues to Violence

41. Safety Plans • Awareness of high-risk situation • Inform partner • Set time limit • Reduce arousal • Think and plan • Reach out if necessary • Return, ready to leave again if necessary

42. Managing Arousal • Relaxation • Positive self-talk • Staying seated • Moving further away • Sitting on the floor • Alternative activity • Emphasize responsibility and choice

43. Emotional Awareness • Anger as a secondary emotion • Teach full-range of emotions • Teach responsibility for one’s emotions and reactions • Most critical from attachment perspective

44. Cognitive Restructuring • Work to change: • Belief in entitlement to control • Attributions to temper • Externalizations of blame • Abusive relationship beliefs • Systematic cognitive distortions • Replace with positive self-guiding self-statements

45. Respectful Beliefs • Connected but different • she has a right to her own opinions; differences not disloyalty • Equal • I’m better in some areas than she and she is in others; sharing is better • Reciprocal • Sometimes her needs come before mine; we respect each others wishes

46. Respectful Beliefs • Concerned about Consequences • I am responsible for my actions; my actions have effects; impact on her must be considered • Collaborative • It is better to make decisions together; we do things for each other • Mutual • I am as responsible for this relationship as my partner; I need to understand my partner;

47. Skills • Assertiveness • Conflict resolution • Communication

48. Case example-termination in an open domestic violence perpetrator group • At 40 weeks, begin completion form • At 50 weeks, make a list of ten reasons you are ready to leave • At 52, Sankofa presentation • Ghana origins • Based on mythical bird that flies forward with its head turned backward. • Reflects belief that the past serves as a guide for planning the future, or the wisdom in learning from the past in building the future

49. 40 week form • Actions I will take if reabuse: • Return to program • Call police and report assault • Call group members • Move out • Respect and follow her wishes • Pay for her housing and child care and other needs • Have no contact if she wishes

50. 40 week form continued • Clues that would indicate I am choosing to batter • Being defensive • Not discussing important issues • Isolating myself or her • Hanging out with others who batter or encourage battering • Expecting forgiveness, approval and acknowledgement for “not battering”