Becoming an effective coach

1. Becoming an effective coach Session 1 What are the qualities of a good coach? Creating a Coaching Culture

2. Objectives • To explore the qualities of a good coach. • To determine how our own qualities can further effective coaching. • To set up parameters for coaching sessions. Creating a Coaching Culture

3. What qualities and demeanour would you look for in a coach? • In pairs, create a description of the personal qualities and demeanour that you think a good coach should have. • You may use your personal experience of coaching if you wish. Creating a Coaching Culture

4. Feedback Good demeanour Bad demeanour Creating a Coaching Culture

5. What qualities would you look for above all in a coach? • Sense of humour • Empathy • Ability to create rapport • Non-judgemental • Supportive • Engaged • Honest • Enthusiastic • Optimistic • Realistic • Resilient • Determined • Passionate • Knowledgeable With your partner use a diamond nine to explore which qualities you agree are MOST important. Creating a Coaching Culture

6. Do you believe you can be successful? • On one sticky note, write down a list of your qualities that you think will help you become a good coach. • On the other, write down qualities that you think may get in your way or make it difficult. Creating a Coaching Culture

7. How do these relate to each other? confident arrogant determined bossy honest ruthless Creating a Coaching Culture

8. Working as a coach may mean… • You have to bite your tongue at times. • You have to resist judging what other people say. • You have to remain positive and encouraging. • You have to be prepared to challenge others. • You have to be able to see other people’s points of view. • You have to give others space and time to think. Creating a Coaching Culture

9. Objectives • To explore the qualities of a good coach. • To determine how our own qualities can further effective coaching. • To set up parameters for coaching sessions. Creating a Coaching Culture

10. Feedback Please put all your sticky notes on the board How far do you agree? Have we evolved some shared rules? Creating a Coaching Culture

11. Becoming an effective coach Session 2 How do we set the scene for effective coaching? Creating a Coaching Culture

12. Objectives • To determine the best physical conditions for coaching. • To reflect on how our behaviour and body language affects others. • To set up parameters for coaching sessions. Creating a Coaching Culture

13. ? Time and place ? ? • In pairs, decide what conditions would be best for a coaching session. • What kind of room would you need? • What kind of time would be best? • What would you need to have in the room? • How would it be best arranged? ? ? ? ? Creating a Coaching Culture

14. Feedback Good conditions Bad conditions Creating a Coaching Culture

15. Just as important as the room… In my first coaching session I felt really uncomfortable for some reason. I had the impression that the coach wasn’t really very keen on working with me, and that they didn’t think the problems that I brought forward were really worth bothering with. I just got the impression that I should buck up and work harder. I decided not to go back to the next session. Creating a Coaching Culture

16. The coach responds… That feedback seems really unfair to me. I did make an effort to move things on, but that was because I knew that we had a lot to do. I found her difficult to work with, to be honest. She spent a lot of time looking at her phone, which I thought was really rude. Creating a Coaching Culture

17. What messages are you sending? • If you leave the door of the room open? • If you sit on a sofa? • If you have your phone out? • If you offer a cup of tea or coffee? • If you sit with your arms folded? • If you sit behind a desk? • If you take a phone call during a session? • If you don’t make eye contact? • If you doodle while you listen? • If you look at your watch? Creating a Coaching Culture

18. Prioritising what is important • Using the sticky notes, decide what would be your non-negotiables for a coaching session. • What ‘rules’ would you want to set up with the person that you are coaching? • What ‘rules’ would you want to set up with others who work with them? • Write your ideas on the sticky notes – one for each rule. Creating a Coaching Culture

19. Feedback Please put all your sticky notes on the board How far do you agree? Have we evolved some shared rules? Creating a Coaching Culture

20. Objectives • To determine the best physical conditions for coaching. • To reflect on how our behaviour and body language affects others. • To set up parameters for coaching sessions. Creating a Coaching Culture

21. Becoming an effective coach Session 3: How do we set effective targets? Creating a Coaching Culture

22. Objectives • To understand the importance of setting targets in coaching. • To investigate what makes targets SMART. • To be able to construct SMART targets, and improve targets that are not SMART. Creating a Coaching Culture

23. Why do we need targets? • In pairs, read through the statements about targets and then arrange them in order of importance. • Which statement do you think is most important? • Are there any statements that you strongly disagree with? Creating a Coaching Culture

24. What is a SMART target? • Specific • Measurable • Achievable • Relevant • Time-limited Creating a Coaching Culture

25. What goes wrong if a target is not… • Specific? • Measurable • Achievable • Relevant • Time-limited Creating a Coaching Culture

26. What goes wrong if a target is not… • Specific • Measurable? • Achievable • Relevant • Time-limited Creating a Coaching Culture

27. What goes wrong if a target is not… • Specific • Measurable • Achievable? • Relevant • Time-limited Creating a Coaching Culture

28. What goes wrong if a target is not… • Specific • Measurable • Achievable • Relevant? • Time-limited Creating a Coaching Culture

29. What goes wrong if a target is not… • Specific • Measurable • Achievable • Relevant • Time-limited? Creating a Coaching Culture

30. How to set SMART targets Is this aimed at a student or a teacher? What will need to happen to improve the outcomes? • My target is to…. Improve my results. Not specific enough – you need to consider who, why, where, what and when. Creating a Coaching Culture

31. How to set SMART targets Where are the grades at the moment? A starting point is necessary as well as a finishing point. • My target is to…. Get higher grades. If there is no measurable value, how will you know what is significant? Creating a Coaching Culture

32. How to set SMART targets How can this be made more realistic? • My target is to…. Learn 50 vocabulary words each week. It is unlikely that this will be attainable in such a short time frame. Setting an impossible target will lead to disheartening failure. Creating a Coaching Culture

33. How to set SMART targets How can this be made more relevant? • My target is to…. Get a part-time job. This target is interesting, but is it relevant to the purpose of the coaching? Creating a Coaching Culture

34. How to set SMART targets By when will this be achieved? • My target is to…. Go to homework club for maths. This target is not time-limited or defined, so it is essentially meaningless. Creating a Coaching Culture

35. Make these into SMART targets • Improve my results. • Get higher grades. • Learn 50 vocabulary words each week. • Get a part-time job. • Go to homework club for maths. Creating a Coaching Culture

36. Feedback Please put your sticky notes on the display board. How far do you agree? Have we discovered ways of clarifying targets? Creating a Coaching Culture

37. Objectives • To understand the importance of setting targets in coaching. • To investigate what makes targets SMART. • To be able to construct SMART targets, and improve targets that are not SMART. Creating a Coaching Culture

38. Becoming an effective coach Session 4 How can we become better listeners? Creating a Coaching Culture

39. Objectives • To understand the importance of listening in coaching. • To investigate what are the most positive listening skills. • To be able to distinguish what messages lie behind what is said to us as coaches. Creating a Coaching Culture

40. Positive listening skills Adults spend an average of 70% of their time engaged in some sort of communication, of this an average of 45% is spent listening compared to 30% speaking, 16% reading and 9% writing. (Adler, R. et al. 2001). How much time did you spend listening today? Creating a Coaching Culture

41. Talk about your day • In pairs, name yourselves participant A and participant B. • Participant A should talk to participant B for two minutes about the three most important things that they listened to in their day today. • When the bell rings, swap over so that participant B talks to participant A about their three most important things that they listened to. Creating a Coaching Culture

42. Report back Are they getting it right? Tell us about your partner’s day Creating a Coaching Culture

43. ‘Oh, one more thing doctor…’ • Doctors, GPs in particular, are always alert for the ‘Columbo question’. Just like the TV detective Columbo, some patients leave it until the last minute of the consultation – even on their way out the door – before saying what is really on their mind. • Notoriously, such patients will come to the doctor for some small reason, while they are really worried about something much more serious. • In coaching the same holds true. Creating a Coaching Culture

44. What is really being said here? ‘I suppose that I’ve never really enjoyed reading that much. I used to like it a lot at primary school, and I really liked Harry Potter, but when I came to secondary school I found out that those books are actually really for little kids and so I don’t read them any more. I go to the library sometimes with my friends and they like to hang out there, but we get sent out sometimes because we’re not reading. The other day there was actually a book I picked up when I was pretending to read and I thought I liked it at first but then I found out it was really lame and babyish and so I didn’t get it out, though it was quite good.’ Creating a Coaching Culture

45. Reflecting and paraphrasing • A key listening skill is being able to reflect what someone says. • You do this through picking out key passages in what they say, and either repeating (reflecting) them or else putting them into different terms (paraphrasing). • As you become more experienced, you will find that you can delve deeper with what you say,and turn neutral comments into questions. Creating a Coaching Culture

46. For example… ‘You’ve never really enjoyed reading that much.’ ‘I suppose that I’ve never really enjoyed reading that much.’ ‘So you don’t feel happy about reading?’ ‘So you enjoyed reading to some extent?’ Creating a Coaching Culture

47. What reflective responses could you make to this? ‘I suppose that I’ve never really enjoyed reading that much. I used to like it a lot at primary school, and I really liked Harry Potter, but when I came to secondary school I found out that those books are actually really for little kids and so I don’t read them any more. I go to the library sometimes with my friends and they like to hang out there, but we get sent out sometimes because we’re not reading. The other day there was actually a book I picked up when I was pretending to read and I thought I liked it at first but then I found out it was really lame and babyish and so I didn’t get it out, though it was quite good.’ Creating a Coaching Culture

48. Possible reflections • You used to like reading at primary school? • So something changed when you came to secondary school. • What did you decide was babyish about Harry Potter? • It was quite good? Creating a Coaching Culture

49. Power of silence • Repeating and reflection can prompt further speech, but it is not the only way to encourage people to open up. • Being quiet is a very effective tool for encouraging people to develop their ideas. • Using non-verbal cues such as smiling and nodding can be very encouraging, but don’t be afraid of a sympathetic silence. • Minimal verbal cues can also be helpful such as saying, ‘I see’, ‘uh-uh’, or ‘I think I understand’. Creating a Coaching Culture

50. Don’t just listen to what is said • An effective coach will not only listen to what is said, but to what is left unsaid, not given high priority, or only implied. • If you remember to consider the messages given through non-verbal cues, you will pick up much more of what is really being communicated. • Really good listening means that you will be alert to inconsistencies between what is said and the speaker’s non-verbal body language. Creating a Coaching Culture