The American family

1. The American family • Is diverse and built on similarities and overcoming differences • What are some ways we can do this? • Relationships? • Communications? • Intimacies?

2. The American family • What are some different types of families? • Blended families? • Single parent families? • Gay and lesbian families? • DINKS?

3. The American family • Any type of family can be successful if it understands the characteristics that make intimate relationships grow and flourish. • Good decision making can build intimate relationships that are enduring and successful

4. The American family • What do all of these types of families have in common? • They are all built on relationships • Intimate relationships

5. Defining Intimate Relationships • Being intimate means experiencing intense intellectual, emotional, and when appropriate physical communion with another human being.

6. Defining Intimate Relationships • Intimate relationships give meaning to life, and give us a sense of identity, well-being, security and of being needed • Sense of Identity? • Mother, father, sister, brother, boyfriend, girlfriend…. • Are you older or younger? • What are your responsibilities?

7. Family as the Origin of Intimacy • It is within families that all of us learn the most about intimate relationships. how we are suppose to treat people.

8. Family of origin • Our, family of origin is the family in which we were born and grew up, is the first seat of all of our learning, and human relationships are the essence of the family.

9. Family wellness • Healthy families produce strong and healthy individuals

10. 8 Qualities Shared by Strong, Healthy Families 1. Commitment • Family members are deeply committed to promoting each other’s happiness and welfare.

11. 8 Qualities Shared by Strong, Healthy Families • 1. Commitment to the relationship involves wanting to stay married. • Comes with 2 possible problems. • Marital resiliency perspective; can divorce provide a second chance for happiness? Would be better for the overall wellness of the family?

12. 8 Qualities Shared by Strong, Healthy Families • 1. Commitment to the relationship involves wanting to stay married. • Comes with 2 possible problems. • Marital decline perspective; personal happiness has become more important than commitment to the marriage and family obligations

13. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 2. Appreciation • Family members appreciate each other and make each other feel good about themselves.

14. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 2. Appreciation • In strong families members find good qualities in each other and can express appreciation for them

15. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 3. Good communication patterns. • Spend time talking to each other • Talking - Rumor, assumption, guesswork, and innuendo are poor communication techniques, while direct discussion is a good one.

16. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 3. Good communication patterns. • Spend time talking to each other Listening - By good listening, family members show respect for each other.

17. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 3. Good Communication Patterns • Fighting fairly means getting conflict out into the open. discussing the problem, and selecting solutions that are best for everybody.

18. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 3. Good Communication Patterns • Families have to be trustworthy and empathetic • Empathy may be defined as the ability to put oneself in the other’s place.

19. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 4. Desire to spend time together. • Families actively structure their lifestyles so that they can spend time together. • Rituals and routines maintain a sense of continuity over time, linking past, present, and future through shared traditions and expectations. • Your culture?

20. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 5. A strong value system. • A value system allows individuals to have a wider vision of life than personal success alone and enables them to reach beyond themselves.

21. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 5. A strong value system. • Families that share a strong value system experience spiritual wellness. • This is a unifying force possibly from organized religion • Family support network • Sponsoring family activities • Encourages families to seek divine assistance for personal and family problems

22. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 6. Ability to deal with crises and stress in a positive manner. • In a crisis, families may rely to a greater extent on each other and the trust they have developed in each other. • Confronted by a crisis, they unite to deal with it instead of being fragmented by it.

23. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 7. Resilience: • The capacity to rebound from adversity, having become strengthened and more resourceful.

24. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 8. Self-efficacy • Self-efficacy beliefs determine how people feel, think, motivate themselves, and behave. • A strong sense of self-efficacy enhances human accomplishment and personal well-being.

25. 8 Qualities Shared by All Strong, Healthy Families 8. Self-efficacy • People with high self assurance in their capabilities approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered rather than threats to be avoided

26. The Study of Intimacy: Family Science Family Science is the study of marriage and family combining all disciplines that can shed light on marriage and family functioning.

27. Family Science

28. Marital Status, by Race and Hispanic Origin

29. Making decisions that lead to a fulfilling life • Human beings learn the patterns of their culture and develop a value system as they grow into adulthood. • It is the family that provides most of the socialization

30. Decision-Making Steps • Define what you need or want. Consider both long and short term outcomes

31. Decision-Making Steps 2. Look carefully at your resources. • seek advice from others • Avoid spur of the moment or hit or miss decisions they are often poor

32. Decision-Making Steps • Gather information on all your choices. • The better the info the greater the odds of a good decision • Use common sense and intuition

33. Decision-Making Steps • Identify, evaluate, and compare your choices. • Often people feel they have little or no freedom to make decisions. They feel trapped • Feeling of entrapment occur when a person is in a highly emotional stage and decision often prove to be unsound

34. Decision-Making Steps • Make your decision, develop a plan, and get started. • Avoid snap decisions • Consider all of your choices

35. Decision-Making Steps • As time passes, evaluate your decision and readjust it if necessary. • Stay flexible, a person who can remain open enough to admit mistakes is in a better position to rethink better decisions

36. Key Terms in Decision-Making • Intuition: the immediate understanding of something without conscious reasoning or thinking about it. • Common sense: practical intelligence, or ordinary good sense.

37. Theoretical Approaches • Exchange theory focuses on the individual level. • Symbolic interaction theory tends to see the relationships between people as the ultimate determinant of behavior.

38. Theoretical Approaches • Family development theory focuses on the family rather than the individual. • Systems theory focuses on interconnectedness.

39. Theoretical Approaches • Conflict theory finds the normal state of the family, and of general society, to be one of conflict and change rather than harmony and status quo. • Ecological theory places emphasis on adaptation and considers pressures from within and without the family.

40. Methods of Study • The Experiment • The Survey • The Clinical Method • Natural or Field Observation • Group versus Individual Data

41. Experimental Method

42. Proposals to Strengthen the Family • A return to the structure of the traditional nuclear family characteristic of the 1950s. • The development of extensive government policies (welfare). • Reinvigorate the cultural ideals of family, parents, and children within the changed circumstances of our time.

43. Quick Quiz

44. 1. The capacity to rebound from adversity is: • Empathy • Intuition • Self-Efficacy • Resilience

45. Answer: d • Resilience is the capacity to rebound from adversity.

46. 2. Which theory focuses on interconnectedness? • Systems Theory • Conflict Theory • Exchange Theory • Ecological Theory

47. Answer: a • Systems theory focuses on interconnectedness.

48. 3. The immediate understanding of something without conscious reasoning or thinking about it is • Empathy • Intuition • Self-Efficacy • Resilience

49. Answer: b • Intuition is the immediate understanding of something without conscious reasoning or thinking about it.

50. Go over the handouts • 12 tips for marital happiness • How to overcome negative thoughts • 15 tips on how to stay positive in negative situations • 26 tips to stay calm when a situation goes bad