Understanding the Male mind

1. Understanding the Male mind

2. What are things that Men Value? • POWER • COMPETENCY • EFFICIENCY • ACHIEVEMENT

3. During an interview a man said this: • “Understanding the female mind? You’re kidding, right? How can a guy answer that question? We can’t even understand our own minds, much less female minds. Guys are simple-minded by comparison. It’s like asking a three year old to do calculus.” By Will Kester

4. FACTS • Men’s connecting language center works with their logical thinking center.

5. FACTS • Men usually communicate in a logical linear style. To men, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and what we do is make the line before communicating. That is where men have trouble understanding women. Men need a direct line to their logic centers. Women don’t always provide that, the more emotion is involved, the less straight line there is.

6. FACTS • Men do not expect women to read into what they say. Take it for face value and save yourself (women) the trouble of trying to find unspoken meaning that is not there. Women need to speak directly and they will have their desires and needs met.

7. FACTS • Men are born PROBLEM SOLVERS

8. Example: • Tina states to her friend, “I am having a huge problem with Ashley. She is talking bad about me to all my friends.” He answers, “Why don’t you just talk to her about it?” “I am just so mad right now. I can’t believe she is saying these things about me.” He states, “ Well don’t be friends with her anymore.” “What am I suppose to do? Everyone is going to say stuff!” He answers again, “Find some new friends.”

9. Continued. . . . . . . . . • At this point, he is getting frustrated because he feels she is broke and needs a fix, but she just wants to talk and vent with no plans of doing anything about the situation. He is getting annoyed because he feels like he is failing and not able to fix the problem. She is getting annoyed, because she just wants to vent and he keeps trying to fix it.

10. Mr. Fix It • “If it is not broke, don’t fix it.” • If it is broke . . . . . Fix it and move on.

11. How Men Deal with Stress • Caves . . . . .men have what are called caves. A place to go to be alone and not be bothered. • If a man is faced with a problem, they like to go to their cave and think about it. It is important to a man to figure out his own problems. • When the problem is fixed the man will come out and be happy.

12. Continued . . . . • If the problem is not fixed, the man will find something to do to take it off his mind. • The women respond by bothering a man in his cave and pushing all their buttons. She will feel like she did something wrong. She will nag and ask a lot of questions trying to get his attention. “What is wrong?” Are you mad about something?”

13. The Rubber Band Motion for Men • Men are like rubber bands. They get closer and they pull away. • Men naturally feel the urge to pull away (alarm) when they think they are getting to close. • They pull away like a rubber band then come flying back, wanting to pick up right where they left off. • The reason for this: Men need to regain self control and independence.

14. Problems: • When a man pulls away and a woman is at the bottom of her wave there is a serious conflict in the relationship. The woman starts to chase the man for love and affection and he takes off running to gain his independence. The relationship is at its best when the woman is at the top of her wave and the man has sprung back.