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This research explores empathic inequity in close cross-sex relationships. It examines how perceptions of friendships and relational exclusivity impact support communication dynamics between sexes. Is gender-based empathic inequity a reality or a perception and what motivates these behaviors in platonic friendships?
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Inequity in Empathic Support Between Cross-Sex Friends Perception or Reality?
Abstract The purpose of this research is to explore the empathic inequity reported by women in their close, cross-sex relationships. How do the perceptions of cross-sex friendships and relational exclusivity influence the under benefitted/over benefitted dichotomy expressed between the sexes when communicating support?
What is gender based “empathic inequity?” Among married couples, it is known as “the support gap.” A situation in which husbands report receiving more support and helpful support from their wives than wives report receiving from their husbands.
Perception or reality? Research indicates that there are no gender differences in seeking or providing support. That’s the reality. However, some researchers and lay persons cling to the heuristic that men and women do support communication differently because men and women are different. That’s the perception.
Where might the perception come from? • Expecting (and being willing to provide) different communication in specific relational contexts • Pursuing different individual and relationship goals related to those specific relational contexts
Let’s define some terms • Specific relationship contexts means how you think about friendship (strictly platonic, potential for romance, “friends with benefits”) • Different communication refers the communicationbehaviors used to maintaina friendship (emotional support and positivity and instrumental support)
Pursuing Relationship Goals • For women—enjoying “nice guy” companionship • For men—exploring the potential for sexual/romantic involvement
Balance Individual Goals Emotional bond challenge—high social investment with no/low sexual involvement Sexual challenge—high/moderate sexual involvement with no/low emotional investment
Research Design Social exchange approach—cost/benefit analysis of relationship vs. individual goals What motivates men not to offer empathic support in a strictly platonic cross-sex friendship? What motivates women to continue providing empathic support in a strictly platonic cross-sex friendship?
Bibliography Afifi, W. A. & Faulkner, S. L. (2000). On being ‘just friends’: The frequency and impact of sexual activity in cross-sex friendships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17(2), 205-222. Guerrero, L. K. & Chavez, A. M. (2005). Relational maintenance in cross-sex friendships characterized by different types of romantic intent: An exploratory study. Western Journal of Communication, 69(4), 339-358. Messman, S. J., Canary, D. J. & Hause, K. S. (2000). Motives to remain platonic, equity, and the use of maintenance strategies in opposite-sex friendships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17(1), 67-94.
Bibliography O’Meara, J. D. (1989). Cross-sex friendship: Four basic challenges of an ignored relationship. Sex Roles, 21(7/8), 525-543. Rawlins, W. K. (1993). Communication in cross-sex friendships. In L. P. Arliss and D. J. Borisoff Women & men communicating: Challenges and changes, (pp. 51-70) Fort Worth: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich College Publishers.