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Conflict Management

Conflict Management. Candyce Reynolds, Ph.D.. University Studies. Conflict. What is it?. Conflict. Why do we do it?. Conflict. Why do we care?. Goals for Today. Understand the nature of conflict in human relationships Identify ways that conflict can be positive or negative

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Conflict Management

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  1. Conflict Management Candyce Reynolds, Ph.D.. University Studies

  2. Conflict What is it?

  3. Conflict Why do we do it?

  4. Conflict Why do we care?

  5. Goals for Today • Understand the nature of conflict in human relationships • Identify ways that conflict can be positive or negative • Examine a framework for analyzing conflict situations • Analyze a personal conflict

  6. What we know…. • Conflict is a naturally occurring phenomenon for human beings • People do not get involved in conflict situations unless they have some stake in the relationship or outcome or both

  7. What we know…. • One can never truly resolve conflict, one can only manage conflict • The costs of unmanaged conflict can be high, but the gains from using differences creatively can also be great • Conflict can either be productive or dysfunctional

  8. First Trick for Conflict Management

  9. Know Yourself

  10. What feelings do you have when you are in conflict situation?

  11. Anger Frustration Fear Excitement Common Feelings Associated with Conflict

  12. Fight Flight Common Actions Associated with Conflict

  13. Your History with Conflict • How was conflict perceived in your family/community? • How did your family/community deal with conflict?

  14. You can decide... • Understanding the impact of your family and community on your ideas about conflict can allow you to make decisions about how you deal with conflict now • We are our history • We make our history

  15. What is your conflict style?

  16. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H I P High Importance 3 5 4 2 1 High Importance Low Importance GOALS

  17. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H I P High Importance 3 5 4 2 1--Turtle High Importance Low Importance GOALS

  18. Turtle--Withdrawing • Avoid conflict as all costs • Give up their personal goals & relationships • Believe it is hopeless to try to resolve conflict • Feel helpless • Easier to withdraw than face conflict

  19. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H I P High Importance 3 5 4 2--Shark 1 High Importance Low Importance GOALS

  20. Shark--Forcing • Try to overpower opponents by forcing them to accept their solutions • Not concerned with needs of others • Do not care about how others perceive them • Believe in winning and losing • Winning gives them a sense of pride • Try to win by attacking, overwhelming, & intimidating others

  21. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H I P High Importance 3--Teddy Bear 5 4 2 1 High Importance Low Importance GOALS

  22. Teddy Bear--Smoothing • Relationships most important, goals of little importance • Want to be accepted and liked by other people • Believe conflict should be avoided in favor of harmony • Fearful that conflict will hurt someone

  23. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H I P High Importance 3 5 4--Fox 2 1 High Importance Low Importance GOALS

  24. Fox--Compromising • Moderately concerned with relationships and goals • Willing to sacrifice part of their goals and relationships in order to find agreement for the common good

  25. Conflict Styles R E L A T I O N S H I P High Importance 3 5--Owl 4 2 1 High Importance Low Importance GOALS

  26. Owl--Confronting • Value their own goals and relationships • View conflicts as problems to be solved • See conflicts as improving relationships by reducing tension • Seek solutions that satisfy both parties • Not satisfied until solution is found and tension is reduced

  27. Which style is better?

  28. Some styles are more useful than others when...

  29. Uses of the “Turtle” • When issue is trivial • When potential damage of confrontation outweighs the benefits • To let people cool down & reduce tension • When gathering information • When others can resolve the conflict more effectively

  30. Uses of the “Shark” • When quick, decisive action is vital • On important issues where unpopular actions need to be implemented • To protect yourself against people who take advantage of noncompetitive behavior

  31. Uses of “Teddy Bear” • When you realize you are wrong • To learn from others • When issue is more important to the other person than to yourself • As a goodwill gesture to maintain cooperative relationship • To allow others to experiment

  32. Uses of “Fox” • When goals are important, but not worth the effort or disruption • When opponents with equal power are strongly committed • To achieve temporary settlements to complex issues

  33. Uses of “Owl” • To find an integrative solution when both sides are too important to compromise • When your objective is to learn • To work through hard feelings which have been interfering with a relationship

  34. Second Trick for Conflict Management

  35. Understand Process of Conflict intervene Expectations (explicit) Anticipation (implicit) Unfulfilled Expectations Experience Gather evidence for a case Resentments Build Give up

  36. Why & how do we get in conflict situations?

  37. The issues • The facts: present situation, problems • The goals: how things ought to be, the future conditions sought • The methods: the best, the easiest, the quickest, the most ethical • The values: the beliefs about priorities that should be observed in choosing goals & methods • The history: what has gone on before

  38. Components of a Conflict Situation • Frustration--when you feel blocked. • Conceptualization of problem-- “What’s going on?” • Conceptualization of behaviors & intentions-- “What does that mean?” • Outcome--emotional, cognitive, behavioral

  39. Types of Conflict

  40. What can we do???How do we intervene??? • Accept that you will have conflict • Work toward having positive vs. dysfunctional conflict • Use conflict management skills • De-escalation • “I”- Messages

  41. Competition Righteousness Not Listening Spreading to new issues Dealing in personalities Threats Intentional Hurt Violating Social Rules Indicators of Escalation

  42. Listening. Trying to understand. Showing Tact. Concern for other’s feelings. Goodwill gestures. Appeals to De-escalate. Airing feelings. Finding alternatives. Indicators of De-escalation

  43. “I”-Messages Describe: • Behavior • Feelings • Consequence Beware of war words!!

  44. Analyzing a Conflict Situation • Conflict was between________ • It centered around_________ • I wanted___________ • and felt frustrated because __________ • In my view, the key issue was _______ • The other person probably thought the key issue was ___________

  45. Analyzing a Conflict Situation • Predominant conflict style I used_____ • Escalation behaviors I used________ • De-escalation behaviors I used______ • Major outcomes_____________ • Differences over: facts, goals, methods, values, history___________ • What would I do differently next time?

  46. Small Group • Break into small groups • Take 7 minutes to fill out sheet. Write about problem that you are willing to share with group. (Could be something that has happened in your group!) • Share worksheet with group • Get feedback about possible alternative ways of viewing and/or handling conflict • Discuss common themes

  47. Large Class • Each group share their common themes • Questions, comments

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