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Friendship

Friendship. Becoming a successful friendship coach “A Parent Meeting”

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Friendship

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  1. Friendship Becoming a successful friendship coach “A Parent Meeting” This PowerPoint presentation was developed to encourage parent participation and discussion about the social development of children. This information on learning how to become a successful friendship coach for children is designed to occur in an adult learning environment where parents can share their own experiences with other families at the “parent meeting”.

  2. Thinking back… • Warm-up Activity: Turn to the person next to you and try and answer the following questions to the best of your ability. After discussing with your “neighbor”, any volunteers who would like to share their story with the whole group will be encouraged. • Who do you remember being your first friend? • How old were you? • How did you know each other (school, neighborhood, church, temple, your parent’s friends)? • What do you remember doing with this friend? • Is this person still in your life today, if not, do you remember what caused the friendship to end and how old were you when you stopped being friends? • What kind of impact did this friend have on you?

  3. Typical characteristics of a young child’s friendship. • Friends typically seek each other out, prefer to be together, and enjoy each other's company. In the research world, friendships are typically indicated by mutuality; that is, each partner considers the other as the "best friend". Howes, C. (1988). Peer interaction of young children. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 53(1). • The younger the children, the more on-again, off-again their friendships are. Young friendships are not just made up of positive emotions. Three year olds and four years old tend to hold hands one minute and the next minute yell “You aren’t my friend.” www.umaine.edu/research/UMTBestFriend.htm

  4. How to be an effective friendship coach… • Teach your child to pick up on social cues • Help your child develop empathy • Don’t ignore mean behavior • Take action to patch up problems • Let kids choose their friends www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3293.jsp

  5. Role play activities • Split up into groups of three or four parents. Each group will come up with some ideas related to their topic of how to facilitate and be a good coach to their children in developing friendships. • Each group will be assigned one topic from the list of “How to be an effective friendship coach”. The following 10 slides will be used as a guide to each group’s discussion. • After the role play is completed, one person from the group will act as “spokesperson” and share with the rest of the group the ideas they came up with.

  6. Teach children to pick up on social cues. • Encourage your child to notice how others are reacting and to recognize the signals that something about their behavior is not working. • Role Play: You just observed your child telling a story to two other children in his/her class. Neither of the children are paying any attention to your child, but your child does not seem to notice and continues on with the story. How can you talk to your child and make them more aware of social cues.

  7. Some ideas… • Ask my child if the two other children liked her story. Children are not often aware that people are not interested in what they are saying. Nonetheless, this is an important skill for children to be aware of. • Your ideas?

  8. Help your child develop empathy • Children are not born with the ability to understand and appreciate others’ feelings. Role play: You just overheard your child make a comment to one of his playmates, “Your drawing is ugly.” Your child has no idea that this has just hurt his friend’s feelings. What are some ways you can talk to your child about his comment?

  9. Some suggestions… • Put your child in his classmates “shoes”. Ask him/her how would you feel if your friend told you your picture was ugly? Would you be sad? Would your feelings be hurt? • Other suggestions…

  10. Don’t ignore mean behavior • When you see or are informed that your child has participated in mean behavior, it is important to be clear that kind of behavior is not acceptable. • Role Play: Your child’s teacher informs you that your child participated in teasing one of his/her classmates about the hole in her shoe. How do you respond to your child after learning of the behavior?

  11. Brainstorm • Explain to your child that kind of behavior is not right. Hurting people’s feelings and laughing about it, is not acceptable. • Other ideas…

  12. Take action to patch up problems • Children should learn to solve arguments and disputes early on in their lives. • Role play: Your child comes home and is upset because his/her classmate took his favorite book and wouldn’t share it. What could you say to your child to help them figure out what would have been an appropriate way to solve the problem.

  13. Any thoughts? Ask your child what they did when his/her favorite book was taken. Ask them if the approach they used was successful. Ask them what they think may have been a better way to solve the problem? Other thoughts?

  14. Let your child choose their own friends. • Children, just like adults, have preferences to the people they consider to be their friends. • Role play: Your child comes home after playing with his/her best friend and tells you that they are no longer friends. What is your reaction and response?

  15. Anyone??? • Ask what happened and why they decided not to be friends anymore. Maybe suggest that they just take a “break” from each other and not spend as much time together. Sometimes children just want to know it is okay that they have a choice to not be friends with someone. • Other advice…

  16. What families can do… • Make friendship development a family priority • Become acquainted with other families • Schedule play dates • Invite children into homes and on outings • Learn about the individual needs of children • Discuss children’s friendships at home • Be a good role model • Encourage positive social interactions http://ici.umn.edu/products/impact/162/over6.html

  17. What teachers can do… • Include social skills in the curricula • Provide opportunities for families to become acquainted • Train school personnel on children’s friendships • Inform parents when friendships begin to develop http://ici.umn.edu/products/impact/162/over6.html

  18. Let’s plan… • Wrap up Activity: Work in groups of three to plan your children’s next social event. • Keep in Simple • Be Creative • Keep expenses to a minimum • Have other families get involved • Make sure to answer the questions: Who,What,Where,Why,When???

  19. Ideas for the next parent meeting • Discuss how play facilitates social development and friendship • Common problems that arise when children play together (sharing, jealousy, etc.) • The next few slides, will be a sneak peak into the next parent meetings on social development.

  20. Play Facilitates Friendships • Parallel Play • Child individually plays with toys similar to those used by other children nearby • Associative Play • Child engages in the same activity as other children, but in an unorganized, disassociated way • Cooperative Play • Children organize in a group for some purpose. Give and take interaction where not only materials are shared, but also ideas and goals. Eliason, C. & Jenkins, L. (2003). A Practical Guide to Early Childhood Curriculum. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson Education, Inc.

  21. Play works… • Pretend play • Teaches children about different emotions, a skill very important for building and maintaining friendships. • A child can dress up like a pirate or princess and explore the different emotions that may go along with the character. • Role playing also gives children a chance to experience being someone else. www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3087.jsp

  22. Troubleshooting… What about sharing? • What to do if you child doesn’t share. • Make sure your child has lots of chances to interact and socialize and practice sharing. • During playdates, DO NOT constantly tell kids to share. It is better to say, “You’ve been playing with that doll for a long time, maybe you should let your friend have a chance.” • Have duplicates of favorite toys, to prevent squabbles. • Share in front of your child at home with other family members. www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3074.jsp

  23. References www.umaine.edu/research/UMTBestFriend.htm www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3293.jsp www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3087.jsp http://ici.umn.edu/products/impact/162/over6.html http://ici.umn.edu/products/impact/162/over6.html www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3074.jsp Eliason, C. & Jenkins, L. (2003). A Practical Guide to Early Childhood Curriculum. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson Education, Inc. Howes, C. (1988). Peer interaction of young children. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 53(1).

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