Critical reflection through personal statements

1. Critical reflection through personal statements Olwyn Alexander

2. Overview Aim: to explore how critical, reflective abilities can be developed through writing personal statements • The context • Skills for employability • Materials and tasks • Examples & feedback • Link to other kinds of persuasive writing • Conclusion

3. MSc in Smart Systems Integration • Erasmus Mundus Smart Systems Integration • Two years, three centers: Edinburgh, Vestvold, Budapest • 18 high achieving students from India, Pakistan, Iran, Malaysia, Vietnam, China, Hungary, Ukraine, Italy, Spain • Degree includes internship in a Smart Systems company

4. Smart Systems Embedded Systems http://www.docstoc.com/docs/83516847/What-are-MEMShttp://pune.cdac.in/html/gist/lang_tools/embedded/embd.aspx

5. Smart Systems Companies • Epigema polymer micro engineering company specialising in the development and manufacture of microfluidic devices, micro optical components and printed electronics.   • Infineon focuses on the three central challenges facing modern society: Energy, Efficiency, Mobility and Security.   • Selex ES an international leader in electronic & information solutions for defence, aerospace, space, security, high-integrity surveillance, network management, information security and mission-essential services. • Siemens has been finding innovative answers to some of the world’s most challenging questions for 170 years. We do it by giving our people the freedom and support they need to be effective and innovative, whatever role they are in.

6. EAP component in Smart Systems • Erasmus Mundus degrees require component of language and cultural studies, interpreted as • Local Culture (5 credits) • Advanced Writing & Research preparation (10 credits) • Assessed by coursework • Presentation on an aspect of local culture • Personal statement applying for an internship • Directed reading (literature review) supervised jointly by SSI and EAP staff.

7. Skills for employability • Students apply for internships – not awarded automatically – need practice writing personal statements • Select a company and find person specification = criteria • Present company to class • Criteria for selection are not expertise in subject but graduate attributes • self-motivation and openness to learning • the ability to work independently & in a team • a commitment to quality & pursuit of excellence • problem-solving, analytical & inductive reasoning skills • good communication skills – both written and verbal – in English & other languages.

8. Writing personal statements • Have to know how to ‘sell yourself’ to compete for a place. • Company wants to know what you can contribute to its success rather than what it can contribute to your career. • Personal statement is your claim to be the best candidate, supported by evidence of your knowledge & experience. • Introduce company briefly and outline the criteria = specific qualities, skills & attributes the company requires • demonstrate knowledge of the company • show how your skills and expertise would fit in.

9. Examples of claims + evidence • CLAIM: I find it easy to communicate information and knowledge to others. EVIDENCE: From the second year of my studies, I held a position of junior teaching assistant [at…], teaching C/C++ and tutoring students… • CLAIM: I have excellent English language and communication skills EVIDENCE: as I attended a bilingual school where I received an advanced certificate in English. • CLAIM: I developed problem solving skills during my work at [… ] EVIDENCE: Our role involved dealing with customer problems to ensure quick response and resolution. • CLAIM: I am able to function well in a multidisciplinary team. EVIDENCE: In my senior project I worked in a group of six and took charge of the group as the research co-ordinator.

10. Writing personal statements • Task: work with other students who have chosen the same company as you (if possible). Discuss the following questions to help you brainstorm ideas for your personal statement: • What makes this company stand out from its competitors, i.e. what is its unique selling point? • Why are you interested in / passionate about working in this company? Link your answer to the unique selling point of the company that you identified. • Look at the graduate attributes listed above and suggest evidence from your own experience that you could use to show you had acquired these skills and attributes. • Write a paragraph which makes a claim about your competence to work in the company and provides supporting evidence which warrants the claim.

11. Evaluating personal statements • Two drafts are shown on pages 2–3 of the handout • What do you see as their strengths and weaknesses? • Without looking at pages 4–5, turn to page 6 for criteria. • What other types of texts might require a similar structure? Critical essays? Literature reviews? • What are some of the problems students experience writing these kinds of texts?

12. Personal statement – first draft It was March the 27th 2010, at the orientation day of Politecnico of Milano, when I met the CEO of the company Carlo Bozotti. Mr Bozotti was invited by the School of Engineering to give a speech about his career and his job at STMicroelectronics. He literally got the entire audience’s attention showing the latest technologies […] I was finishing my high school studies when I flew to Milano to understand what to do in my future. […] the day I heard the speech of Mr Bozotti about STMicroelectronics, was the day I took my definitive decision. Thus, driven by the wish to learn how to design and produce innovative devices I applied for the prestigious Erasmus Mundus scholarship for the innovative Joint International MSc in Smart Systems Integration.

13. Personal statement – first draft It was a Monday in October 2010 when I was working excitedly on my Bachelor thesis project involving the control of an induction motor using a DTC-based Matrix Converter. […] All things seemed to be fineat first. Yet, when I switched on the circuit breaker, the fuses sparked and then suddenly exploded. Panicking, I immediately turned off all the power and separated all the parts of the system. I managed to calm myself down enough to check the status of the equipment. Finally, after three weeks of hard work, I once again stood in front of the circuit breaker. My heart beat a little faster as I reached forward to turn on the system. Images of sparks and explosions flickered across my mind. I mentally crossed my fingers and flipped the switch.

14. Main problems with first drafts • Telling a personal history instead of making points • Being unclear about criteria the company wants. • Addressing the audience as if they do not know who they are, e.g. by copying what they say about themselves on their websites. • Structuring text so it is hard for a reader to understand the points. You should write from general (claim) to specific (evidence) and familiar (what the company wants) to new (what you have to offer). • Focusing mainly on what the company can do for you, rather than what you can do for the company.

15. Personal statements – second draft I have been following STM activities since the 27th March 2010. I was attending the speech of the company’s CEO Carlo Bozotti at the orientation-day at Polytechnic University of Milano regarding STM’s latest projects and possible careers. That day I decided to start my studies in technology and engineering. I know how to find, manage and integrate different information about electronics, mechanics, biology and manufacturing to make innovative, reliable and profitable products and services. In 2013 I developed and produced a working Electromyography Detector with a budget of 30€, whilst similar commercial devices cost hundreds of euros.

16. Personal statements – second draft … doing my thesis project involving the control of an induction motor using a DTC-based Matrix Converter was the most challenging experience I have ever had during my university time. Thanks to the skills obtained from two school-works, the guidance of my supervisor and the close cooperation with my teammate, I found the appropriate solutions to the problems occurred during hardware construction and software implementation My deep interest in micro-controllers, systems, and control algorithms has been reinforced since I participated in the Micom Car Rally contest which played a major factor in shaping my leadership skills and communication skills. I was chosen to lead a three-member team to design a small car consisting of eight infrared sensors, one micro-controller and two servo motors.

17. Directed reading • Directed reading leads to review of the current status of research on a particular topic • Review articles commissioned by journal editors from academics – critically review key articles that contributed to development of research field • Directed reading for students results in literature review for dissertation – framework of previous relevant research as basis for new research • Classification and critical evaluation of selected articles important in both cases • Enables systematic evaluation of particular techniques and identification of gaps in research.

18. Personal Statement – Directed reading • Require similar kind of persuasive writing • Establish criteria for intern selection (PS) or article relevance, selection and evaluation (DR) • Show awareness of audience in terms of type & quantity of information to include in introduction • Don’t tell history; make points to fit criteria (PS) or evaluate articles in terms of criteria (DR) • Structure text for ease of reading. Write from general to specific and familiar to new.

19. Conclusion • Starting with an employability genre creates engagement and motivation. • Students already have content knowledge – focus on getting the structure right for the reader. • Establishes the concept of applying criteria for evaluation. • Students who copy and paste from a company website become aware of impact on the audience • Leads to some shorthand feedback, e.g. don’t tell stories, make points.