The History of Technology: 480 Years in 6 Minutes

1. The History of Technology: 480 Years in 6 Minutes (or so) A Mnemonic Device By Lynn Koller

2. 1450 - 1940

3. Our story of Technology begins in the Renaissance While light came from sun, fire, and the wall-mounted sconce A time when Leo da Vinci built with nonchalance Bombards, mortars, and weapons for martial response Leo’s crossbow Leo’s self portrait

4. Leo’s War Scythe Leo’s focus, it seems Was not art but dreams Of war and of power and building regimes

5. How Leo and other technologists got their support Was through the complex, convoluted workings of the Royal Court The kings, the queens, and the good prince consorts Grew as fond of Technology as they did of their port Leo’s study for Adoration of the Magi Find the horizon line, orthogonals, and vanishing points

6. In addition to military weapons and stuff Leo focused on court entertainment, strangely enough He entertained the royal crowds, which could at times be tough

7. The royals demanded that Technology serve their fancy In ways that to some in this day seem chancy

8. They appear to care not for industrial or laborsaving machines But to defense of their nations did their desires lean And for things that gave them great pleasure, they were really quite keen They remained centuries away from the automated teller machine Which offers no defense or courtly pleasure, but now is routine

9. The remaining history of technology, the next four hundred years Chronicles the Dutch, Germans, and British drinking too many beers It documents the telegraph, the railways, and the electric engineers And the way that tulips blossomed an array of hopeful racketeers

10. But wait, before that, when the late 16th century came along Those who bought into Technology sang a new song

11. The influence of commerce was distinctly rising And the Dutch people’s focus on high quality goods was surprising They paid workers well and were uncompromising The Dutch fostered a way of technological devising That the next hundred years would go about revising A Dutch guy

12. The mid 18th century for over a century Would put many workers into a penitentiary

13. The jail did not keep criminals in Rather it kept hold of its workers to their own chagrin

14. The industrial revolution in London, Manchester, and Sheffield Changed the ways of production and what factories would yield High production low cost became the things that congealed With pollution and labor abuses not even concealed During the whole revolution, it was again beer that appealed To the masses of people whose fates were in fact sealed A Sheffield factory

15. Many would die in the terrible, dangerous trades They would fall into vats and slice themselves up with blades They knew nothing of insurance, sick days, and 401Ks They lived in a time before enriching upgrades

16. The conditions would shock social commentators for years They fretted and commented and shed big, wet tears But it took Technology itself to move us to new frontiers

17. Technology turned into instruments of empire And god what a mess this imperialism would sire The opium wars were particularly dire When the British forced the Chinese to acquire A tragic taste for narcotics that they could not help but desire

18. Famous French satirical cartoon: China is being divided by the United Kingdom, Germany, Russia, France, and Japan. The rampant and compulsory Westernization And the push by the Brits to overtake every nation Caused our friends in the East a great deal of frustration They saw their way of life at risk for annihilation

19. Technology seemed to reinforce the status quo Telegraphs and railroads brought control and the flow

20. Of money and culture and things from the West To Africa, India, and lands that possessed The potential of status for an imperial quest With which politicians and kings were obsessed

21. The weird thing about this unbridled building of nations Was that it failed to increase its parent country’s financial valuations

22. Imperialism may be another outcome of human conceit Driven by the egos of men who seem to excrete The need to possess others and make them concede defeat It seems that the conquest is what makes war so sweet

23. Whatever … we must move into the systems and science That began our fervent and unwavering reliance On what would soon grow into a cult for the kitchen appliance

24. But before we would have the Maytag washer and dryer There would be great advances in dyes, gases, light bulbs, and wire The wire is big, in some ways bigger than all of those prior Because the wire would take us ever more higher

25. Into the world of electronics and advancing telecommunications The wire has a great number of significant applications By any account, it has exceeded our expectations In the way that the wire has affected human machinations

26. Edison Bell Thomas Edison and that phone guy, Alexander Graham Bell Took the whole world by storm and placed them under a spell

27. The spell they fell under was to lust for light bulbs and phones While now in our day we yearn for special ring tones Back then and now, we are worth as much as we own

28. Technology’s story goes on and on But I’m afraid that this is the end of this song It has to end somewhere, it’s already too long.