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First, Second, and Third Order Elaboration – Enhancing Development in Your Writing. Presented by Mr. Celano, Will Robinson, and the Robot. The paragraph that follows needs help !. It obviously has some problems with lack of development or elaboration.
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First, Second, and Third Order Elaboration – Enhancing Development in Your Writing Presented by Mr. Celano, Will Robinson, and the Robot
The paragraph that follows needs help! • It obviously has some problems with lack of development or elaboration. • We will need to rewrite the paragraph so that it includes all levels of elaboration and so that it has an appropriate introduction and conclusion.
Topic:Explain why electronic toys or devices make great gifts for teenagers. Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!
Electronic toys or devices are good. They are good for teenagers. Electronic toys make great gifts. They are great toys, and teenagers love them. The teenagers in your life will love to receive electronic toys or devices as gifts. Electronic toys are the best ever. Teenagers really enjoy electronic toys and devices. The nicest gift to receive when you are a teenager is an electronic toy or device. They rock!
That paragraph needs some work, Will Robinson. Let’s start by identifying the problems!
Problems of the Paragraph: • In the chart below, identify three main problems that exist in the paragraph above: • 1. The paragraph is repetitious; each sentence essentially states the same idea. • 2. No second-order elaboration is used. • 3. No third-order elaboration is used.