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Writing Project By: Emily Beke

Writing Project By: Emily Beke. The Author. Jillian Atkinson Loves to write Has a lot of creative ideas Bounced a lot of ideas off of me Open to constructive criticism. Brainstorming. Had a main idea but a few random events leading up to it

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Writing Project By: Emily Beke

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  1. Writing Project By: Emily Beke

  2. The Author • Jillian Atkinson • Loves to write • Has a lot of creative ideas • Bounced a lot of ideas off of me • Open to constructive criticism

  3. Brainstorming • Had a main idea but a few random events leading up to it • Came up with a clear story outline from her pictures • Had trouble organizing her thoughts

  4. Initial Conference

  5. Planning the Conference What I Noticed What I Said Great start! Very creative ideas that correspond with pictures Need to make sure that ideas in her head get down on paper I pointed out places where she used to same words over and over and suggested she use a variety of words • Very good ideas • Left out some important details • Repetitive words

  6. Response to the Conference Student Response What I Thought She understood how important it was to make sure the reader understood what was going on in her head. She added details to make her story clearer. She actually had a lot of fun looking up new words in the thesaurus and the added unique words to her paper that made her story more interesting. • Talking about how the reader needed to know important details helped her realize what she needed to add. • She went through her paper and brainstormed different words to use instead of the repetitive ones. She even got out a thesaurus to look for new words.

  7. Connecting the Plot Before the Conference After the Conference She finished five kites, and played one game of Lemonade the hand game with Cassey. Abby decided to invite Brenda, Cassey’s family, Chris Johnson, and Beth Hill. Then she ran out to the mailbox, and put all the invitations in it. Finally she ran over to Beth’s house to start babysitting to earn money to pay money for the pizza. • She finished five kites, and played one game of Lemonade with Cassey. • Abby decided to invite Brenda, Cassey’s family, Chris Johnson, and Beth Hill. • Then she ran out to the mailbox, and put all the invitations in it. Finally she ran over to Beth’s house to start babysitting.

  8. Mini Lesson

  9. Planning the Mini Lesson What I Noticed Topic I Considered Ideas Her paper was very interesting and detailed but sometimes the less important events had the most detail Word Choice Common words were repeated too many times • It was clear Jill needed help with ideas. • She added important ideas that the reader needed to know but made unimportant parts too detailed. • I related my mini-lesson back to my conference • I tried to use a book as an example of how each event in her story should relate back to the main idea.

  10. Lesson Process • Introduce the Lesson- • Discuss the Process- read parts of a “The Keeping Quilt” that conveys a strong message of the main idea • Model- show how the story I started writing is focused around one main idea • Turn and Talk- talk about what details in her story can be taken out so it reads more smoothly • Closing and Review- remind her to think about the reader while she writes • Anticipated Responses and Outcomes- look at the next draft of her writing and see if the events in the story connect with the main idea

  11. MyResponse Student Response • Didn’t really like or understand why I was showing her the book • Got more out of going paragraph by paragraph through the story to make sure everything related back to the main idea • I felt like I could have explained my mini-lesson better • Once I adjusted to the lesson so Jillian understood it went much better and helped her writing a lot

  12. Managing Details • Before the Conference • Abby flopped on her bed when she got home, and went to sleep. Beep! Beep! Beep! Abby got up. She didn’t even know she fell asleep. She went downstairs and got a bowl of Coco Pebbles. Then she went into the fridge and got some orange juice. Boom! Abby dropped the jug of juice. She heard lots of sirens. Abby ran up to her room, and looked out the window. There was a big crash. I dropped the jug of juice for that, Abby thought. She went downstairs to clean up the juice. The jug was tipped over. There was juice everywhere! She grabbed 14 paper towels. She also grabbed two rags, and a mop. She started to scrub. She was finally finished one hour later. Then she picked up the phone and called Cassey. • After the Conference • Abby flopped on her bed when she got home, and went to sleep. Beep! Beep! Beep! Abby got up. She didn't even know she fell asleep. She went downstairs and got a bowl of CoCo Pebbles. She went into the fridge and got some orange juice. Then she picked up the phone and called Cassey.

  13. Final Conference

  14. Planning the Conference • What I Noticed • After we went through her story paragraph by paragraph there wasn’t a lot left to fix • I encouraged Jillian to wrap up her story and I checked to make sure it was still reading smoothly • What I Decided to Say • We talked about how Jillian planned on ending the story • I reminded her to be creative with her word choice so that her story kept the reader’s attention

  15. Response to Conference • Student Response • I think Jillian felt very confident with her story. All she needed to do was write down the ending since she already knew how she wanted it to end. • She was eager to get to work and wrap up the ending • My Response • There were no real revisions to be made • I was happy Jillian was finally wrapping up her story • I believe Jillian had a greater sense of ideas and could end her story with it still being focused on the main idea

  16. Finalizing the Story • Before the Conference • There once was a girl named Abby she was asleep. Abby lived with her mom. • After the Conference • Abby was dreaming about chocolate cake. Beep! Beep! Beep! Abby’s alarm went off. 7:00 flashed on the screen. Abby rubbed her eyes, yawned, stretched, and then got out of bed. • Everyone one is here. Abby thought. At 4:00 they all hid, and Abby turned off the light. Her mom walked in. Everyone was quiet. I wonder were Abby went. Leah thought. Abby almost giggled.

  17. Assessment

  18. Strengths Opportunities for Growth • Excellent at coming up with great story ideas • Jillian knows how to add detail to make her story interesting • She often repeated words and ideas • Dialogue tags • Every morning Abby was waking up with Beep! Beep! Beep!

  19. Overall Reactions Jillian Myself I loved working with Jillian. It was so exciting to see her story progress. I liked being able to help Jillian improve her writing and have a better understanding of how to compose a well written story • I could tell she loved sharing her story with me every week. • She really looked forward to us meeting so that we could bounce ideas off of each other and work on strengthening her story

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