Natalya Eydelman (MA TESOL & ICT) Novosibirsk State University

Peer commentary made better Natalya Eydelman (MA TESOL & ICT) Novosibirsk State University

My teaching context An academic writing course for EFL English majors Approaches to learning and teaching: Process Product Genre

To master drafting, revising and editing skills To improve summarising and paraphrasing skills To master peer-editing skills To develop web-searching skills Engaging content Good organization Good logic Coherence Rhetoric patterns characteristic of English Lexical and grammatical accuracy Course Content & Objectives

In the beginning… • F2F: peer feedback (1st draft) • MS Word: T feedback (2nd draft) • MS Word: self-reflection Writing portfolio

Advantages of peer-editing • Active involvement • Authentic context for communication • Informal environment • Alternative and authentic audience • Focus on the readers’ interests and needs • Lower level of anxiety caused by the necessity to write an essay • Critical reading skills • Decrease in teacher workload (?) Zamel, V.; Sommers, N.; Hyland, K.; Hyland, F.; Hedge, P.; Ferris, D.

Course wiki Reasons for choosing: A LE with more affordances for peer-editing A LE with more affordances for T commentary Course blog  wiki Reasons for choosing: An attempt to make transition to using an online LE easier in the beginning BUT Considerable resistance to change on the Ss’ part Course delivery 2010-2012

FromMS Word a) Numbered list b) Colour c) Different fonts: italics, bold; strikeout d) Brackets e) Punctuation marks: ?; “”; From blogs a) Numbered list comments (Ss’ variant) Wikis for peer-editing: summary

Wikis for peer-editing: special features • History • Compiling annotated reference lists and bibliography • Compiling thematic vocabulary lists • …

Blogs for peer-editing Primary focus of the comments: The content of writing←blog affordances

1. Socioaffective -Intersubjectivity: ▪encouragement ▪seeking agreement -Personal exchanges -Emotional expression -Social cohesion 2. Sociocognitive -Praise -Criticism -Suggestion Comments in blogs & wikis 3. Organizational

Some issues to consider a) Training in peer-editing b) Resistance to change c) Past history of T-centered instruction d) Students’ digital literacy

Steps to better peer comments 1. Discussing the stages of the writing process with the focus on Content/Purpose/Audience considerations 2. Discussing essential features of peer-editing 3. Introduction to an Essay Analysis Scheme 4. In-class analysis of Ss’ essay drafts: -Ss comments -Ts comments 5. Using the scheme to comment on peers’ essay drafts 6. Reflecting on peer-editing activities

Peer revision guidelines 1. Is the essay content interesting? 2. Is the argument well-supported by evidence and examples? 3. Is the essay organisation clear and logical? 4. Are there any problems with the use of grammar/vocabulary/style? 5. Are the sources of information quoted/summarised/paraphrased and referenced correctly?

Sample Comments Wiki comments SS/TS/ST 1. Summary writing task: http://acwr962.pbworks.com/w/page/30074997/Maria%20Gorst Comments (11) S8(862) said (i) at 9:38 pm on Sep 20, 2010Very interesting theme, Masha! I have just come home from my "children" and I had to pick my way firstly through the dark campus` pathes, then through the fear of being killed somewhere..And I tried to think about what would I do, if I got into such terrific situation. That`s why, that`s great, that Egyptian women know what to do, how to protect themselves. Academic year 2010-2011

Wiki comments SS/TS/ST Task 3: Essay prompt Choose a recent newspaper article that caught your attention and write an essay expressing your opinion about the problem(s) the article raises S10 (862) said at 10:35 pm on Nov 15, 2010Mash, so good job! :) I have found 2 mistakes: "by it's American analog ---> its", "overcamed ---> overcame"..By the way, could you please attach a picture to your composition as an example of manga? it was really interesting to read!

Wiki comments SS/TS/ST

Wiki comments SS/TS/ST Task 5: Opinion Essay discussing an urgent problem S8 said (862) at 10:15 pm on Nov 13, 2010 "But it is very difficult to convince people of such things (Ref not clear: what things?)"It`s better to change this sentence to "But it is very difficult to convince people to stop smoking""Everybody knows that smoking is (indefinite article) very bad and unhealthy habit""If they think that when they are young they can do anything they want". Maybe not "anything" but "everything"."Finally, if your friend is very stubborn, you can bet with them. Just tell them that they are"You started speaking about a friend and then said about friends)"Everybody always tries to prove that they can reach their goals "The same error. Everybody =1 person, so "his goals"

Blog comments TST Task 1: Essay prompt Choose a recent newspaper article that caught your attention and write an essay expressing your opinion about the problem(s) the article raises nataneva on October 28, 2011 at 3:58 am said: S6 (604)– It was interesting for me to read your essay because I do too use the internet very much for both work and entertainment. I am often concerned about how the students, particularly the students, use it. I was satisfied to see that you have quite a good idea about the quality of information on the internet and how to treat the information you find. You have mentioned Wikipedia (http://www.wikipedia.org/) as a resource which is not very reliable. Actually, it has become much more reliable than it used to be. Still, it is always necessary to make check how reliable the information you have found on the intente is. The structure of your essay is clear and easy to follow. One question though about the use of statistics. You have mentioned it but did not indicate its source. You can’t use it without giving a reference to its source. Was it difficult for you to write this essay? What did you learn from writing it? Reply ↓ Academic year 2011-2012

Blog comments T ST S6 (604) on October 29, 2011 at 1:40 pm said: Natalya Yurievna– Thanks for your comment. I’m sincerely glad that you liked the theme. I do agree that now Wikipedia has become a much more reliable resource. Anyway, I prefer to check information if it’s possible. I admit that not giving a reference is a rough mistake, that I’ve made. Frankly speaking, I thought that I should – I had to – give a reference just after I had published the essay, but, eventually, I haven’t done it. But now I know how to use “Citation Machine”. Well, I can’t say that it was extremely difficult. Since I have experience of writing one paragraph essays, I khow basic structure and methods. However, I felt that I lack experience of writing five paragrah essays, so I wasn’t quite sure that everythig I did was correct. I think, I learned how to organise your thoughts more properly. I have a couple of questions for you. Are my paragraphs coherent? I mean, do they all have their own conclusion? I’m not quite sure about that. In what way I can revise my essay? Reply ↓

Blog comments T ST nataneva on November 3, 2011 at 5:26 am said: Hello S6 (604)– Thanks for answering my questions and asking news ones. Coherence is actually a very complex notion which includes a combination of factors that work on different levels of the language from a sentence to a paragraph to the whole essay. You can read about it in more detail in the following resource: Kies, D. Coherence in Writing at http://papyr.com/hypertextbooks/comp1/coherent.htm (accessed 3.11.2011). I can say that your essay has basic coherence. However, I am not sure you can revise your essay’s coherence at the moment because you need to learn more about it first. I think you can keep it as it is and maybe revise it in the end of the semester for your portfolio which you will be asked to create. I’ll explain what it is and how to do it in class next week. nataneva on November 13, 2011 at 5:25 am said: S6 (604)– You have added a refernce to the resource you have used when writing your essay; however, the link you have provided is not clickable, i.e. clicking it does not take you to the resource it is a link to.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_number_of_Internet_subscriptions. Links are automatically made active in the comments such as this one. To make them active in the post itself you should click on the button “link” at the top of the page, copy the link into the box and save it.

Blog comments SS Task: Analysing the features of a strong argument November18http://juliejuicy5.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/21/#comments S6 (604) December 1, 2011 at 11:27 am # S4, I think that all the arguments you’ve entitled are rather strong, and maybe only the third one from your side is less strong tnan the others. In my opnion, you should make the points more extensive, so they’ll become my understable for a reader. Also, it’s quite possible to find a compromise in your case.

Blog comments SS A comment on the essay discussing new trends in gift giving in India S10 (604) says: December 22, 2011 at 4:23 am I think there is nothing rude in giving money as a present for wedding. If the person doesn’t know what you like or wish, how can he or she guess? Money is the best way of solving this problem. http://mariakina.wordpress.com/2011/12/21/a-five-paragraph-essay/#comments

3 Responses to “A Plane Crash Problem” S8 December 22, 2011 at 7:43 am # Julie, I agree with you that there must be good training of personnel because the passenger’s life depend on the pilot. Nowadays, the planes is very dangerous because some companies have old planes and I think the companies must have new planes. S12 December 22, 2011 at 2:30 pm # I liked your essay! It has a strong thesis statement and good arguments. I think this problem is very essential in our days. And you have described it in a proper way. nataneva December 23, 2011 at 3:11 am # S1– Why did you choose to write on this topic? I was quite surprised at your choice of topic. What is your expertise in air flight safety? I think this is the kind of knowledge you need to have to write expertly about this problem and the absence of it makes it difficult for me as your reader to be persuaded by your arguments. Also, the organisation of your essay is such that you only explain the urgency of this problem in the last but one paragraph but not very convincingly. You have written that the attitude to this industry should be more serious but then you had to demonstrate in your essay that it is not. Blog comments S  S/T ST Opinion Essay discussing an urgent problem

Blog comments S  S/T ST 5 Responses to “A Time to Live and a Time to Die” S9 (604) Says: December 20, 2011 at 4:01 pm hmm, may i ask:why have you choosen this topic?) Reply S7(604) Says: December 20, 2011 at 4:33 pm of course you can)maybe somehow it was chosen in according to my mood, and maybe (I suppose it was the main reason) because of the coming philosophy exam Reply natanevaSays: December 20, 2011 at 5:16 pm I actually had the same question. I mean your choice of topic. Have writing this essay helped you to improve your mood. Yes, the topic is very gloomy but sometimes discussing such topics helps to overcome the gloom. Hope this is the case with you! Wish you good luck with philosophy credit test! S7 (604)Says: December 20, 2011 at 6:38 pm Thank you, I’ve done my best and succeeded For sure, I was a little bit depressed and nervous, and thinking over this theme soothed me in some way. Also such themes were always interesting for me, because I think I’ll never find an excuse for people who suicide themselves. This is a really egoistic deed, for most felos-de-se don’t think of how strongly they are hurting the feelings of their relatives and friends. Definitely, there are some cases in which this action cannot be reprehensible, but nowadays there are so few such cases that talking about them has no sense in the present context. S6 (604) Says: December 22, 2011 at 3:00 pm Tanya, I find the topic very interesting and arguable. Of course, it is an egoistic deed, but steel a person has to have a lot of courage to commit a suicide.

Reflections on Peer-Editing posted by S14 (604) in Uncategorized I think peer-editing is a helpful thing for us because it somehow relates with our future jobs. Not only editing other works but also reading thoughts of the group-mates is a useful thing, because you can know something new not only about the person that had written the post you have read but something new about this or that subject. I realize that activity is a helpful and interesting one. http://loveindependence.wordpress.com/2011/12/17/reflective-note-2/

Reflections on Peer-Editing Last year my writing was checked only by a teacher. In this semester I`ve had a new peer-editing experience. I think it is useful because peers can find mistakes, may be even suggest some new ideas to you. Also you can practise in finding someone`s mistakes. Furthermore, you can offer an opinion about peers` posts. It is a good experience for you and your groupmates http://helenkor.wordpress.com/2011/12/22/a-reflective-note-2/

Reflections on Peer-Editing On this course of academic writing a have an opportunity to read my peers’ works and discuss them. It is very interesting and helpful for some reasons. Firstly, I practice my own writing skills while commenting, asking and answering questions. Secondly, I can see others’ mistakes and avoid them in my works. Also, the fact that all groupmates will read their work can be an additional stimulus for some people to write more carefully and thoughtfully. I think it is good experience for all of us. http://elenarakhmanina.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/48/

Reflections on Peer-Editing To be honest, I didn’t notice a peer-editing experience at all. That is because only few people took part in discussing topics we were asked to write at home. And even if we made comments, it was at different time of the day. As a consequence, duscussions were not of full value. Hope next semester our work will be much beter-organized. http://anitavolkova.wordpress.com/2011/12/21/a-reflective-note-2/

Reflections on Peer-Editing During the semester I wrote my works and also edited and left comments on my peers’ works. It was useful mainly because I need to learn from other people’s mistakes, too. As I read their works, I can see the mistakes and correct them, I also see what the teacher writes to other students and see something knew for myself. I’ve learnt the usage of some words, the situations where they can be used. Reading other students’ notes and noticing their grammar mistakes helps me avert my new ones. http://endlikethis.wordpress.com/2011/12/

Reflections on Peer-Editing I have already said in the previous post that I really enjoy an opportunity to read my groupmates’ essays and comments. I have never had such an opportunity before. It was interesting for me to read what other people think on the same theme. To be honest, I didn’t read all my peers’ essays, I followed only 4 or 5 of them. Even if I didn’t comment anything I just read them because I wanted to know their opinion on a certain theme. I think it was helpful for everyone. We could get some points for our future essays. Also I like our commenting process because sometimes it grows into a discussion with lots of different opinions and answers. http://karinavoronina.wordpress.com/2011/12/17/reflective-note-2/

Reflections on Peer-Editing Even though that I read my peers’ posts I have never commented it, because I was afraid the fact that my corrections would be wrong. But still, while I was reading some of them I learned how to find mistakes in mine. And it was interesting to read such different ideas, thoughts and opinions. Anyway, I prefer discussing in person more than in blog. http://donosama.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/reflective-note-%E2%84%962/#comments

Reflections on Peer-Editing A Reflective Note #2 December 21, 2011 Filed under: Uncategorized — S7 (604) @ 12:36 pm Peer-editing is something really important, without any doubt. Sometimes it is much more convenient to ask your peers to look through your work and correct your mistakes than wait for your professor’s corrections. In addition, your neighbor can explain something at any time, while in the classroom it can simply be the lack of time and your questions will remain unanswered. For me this experience was very useful, for I taught how to give short and instructive explanations. Earlier my manner of explaining was awful: fuzzy and without any structure. Now I got rid of it. Comments (2) 2 Responses to “A Reflective Note #2” S8 (604) Says: December 22, 2011 at 9:49 am Tanya, I agree with your opinion. Also I think reading and commenting others work is very interesting. And reading others’ opinion is very helpful because you know how to improve and edit your work. Reply S6 (604) Says: December 22, 2011 at 3:15 pm I agree. It’s very useful and gradually you learn how to give clear instructions.

Conclusions Peer-editing • Empowers the students to improve their critical thinking skills • Enables the students to get more actively involved in the learning process • Creates authentic context for communication • Promotes informal environment for communication • Provides authentic audience • Puts the readers’ interests and needs in focus • Lowers anxiety caused by the necessity to write an essay • Helps to develop critical reading skills

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Thank you! email: eydelman.natalia@gmail.com twitter: @nataneva

Natalya Eydelman (MA TESOL & ICT) Novosibirsk State University